What if someone told you you that you could totally change your life and have the body you want for the rest of your life? What if all you had to do was follow a simple formula and maybe struggle for a month or two? What if you could reprogram your brain to actually enjoy healthy foods? Well, guess what? You can change your life. You can have the body you want for the rest of your life. You can enjoy healthy foods. All you have to do is follow a simple formula and be willing to delay gratification for a few months. A few months. That’s it. Then you can enjoy a new body for the rest of your life.. You have all the nutritional information you need to become a Skinny Bastard. The rest is up to you. Although this is a lifestyle and not a diet, it is going to feel like a diet for the first thirty days or so. During this time, you will be retraining your brain, healing your taste buds, and cleansing and detoxifying your body. It might suck a little. Chances are there will be times you feel deprived, angry, overwhelmed, and frustrated. But these few, fleeting moments will all be worthwhile once you are buff. Truth be told, if you follow our guidelines, it won’t be so bad.
Before you even start making changes, take notice of how you feel and the role that your diet plays. Do you wake up tired? Is coffee the only thing that gets you going in the morning? Are you cranky in the afternoon? Do you need snacks to bolster your mood? Do you have little or no energy? Do you rely on soda or sugar for a little boost? Do you have trouble falling asleep? Is a beer (or three) the only thing that gets you drowsy? When you eat something unhealthy, how do you feel while you’re eating it? Right after? An hour later? How does it affect your sleep that night? How do you feel the next day? Pay attention to the negative effects your current diet and lifestyle have on your body, moods, and energy level. If it’s not too girlie, feel free to start a little journal, writing what you eat and drink throughout the day and how you feel as a result. This way, when you start making positive changes to your diet, you’ll appreciate all of the results—not just the weight loss.
Recognize that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Good health, vitality, more energy, more confidence, better sex, great abs— you either want ‘em or you don’t. You can continue plodding along in your life feeling like you’re not living up to your man potential or you can dedicate yourself to creating the life you want. Fuck excuses about not having the time. You spend at least forty hours a week working.
And fuck excuses about it being “too hard” to eat well. Certainly your health and your body are more important than anything else in your life. You are worthless to your company, colleagues, friends, and family if you do not value yourself enough to take excellent care of yourself. Love yourself enough to do whatever it takes to be the best you you can be.
An important part of any recovery program for addiction—and unhealthy eating is an addiction—is taking it one day at a time. Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of “I can never eat steak again” or “How will I live without coffee?” Just take it one meal at a time. Don’t think ahead with dread and anguish. One meal at a time. And when all feels hopeless, remember that you are in charge of what goes into your body, you don’t answer to anyone, and you are allowed to eat anything you want. Often just knowing we can eat whatever we want is enough to keep us from eating whatever we want. We’re so rebellious.
If you feel really invigorated and motivated and you’re ready to completely immerse yourself in the Skinny Bastard lifestyle now, then rock on. Go for it. Otherwise, feel free to set mini-goals for yourself and tackle them one at a time. This means spend the first week of your new life removing one dirty vice item. Whether it’s cigarettes or coffee or alcohol or sugar or junk food or meat or dairy—just purge something negative from your life immediately. Choose something that you like and enjoy but that you know you can let go of successfully. (But start right now. Don’t let these intense feelings fade—use them.) Dedicate the week to getting this vice item out of your diet, your body, your kitchen, and your mind. Think of all you’ve learned about this item and how disgusting it is. Envision the damaging effect it has on your organs, your moods, your health, and your appearance. Imagine exactly what it is that you’d be eating. Know how shitty you’d feel, physically and mentally, if you ate it. Understand that you have free will and that if you wanted to eat it, you could. But know with every fiber and cell of your being that today you wish to put only pure, beautiful, healthful foods in your body. Most important, acknowledge that no vice item will ever make you feel happy or whole or satisfied. In fact, all vice items make you unhappy because they contribute to weight issues, health problems, mood swings, and low self-esteem.
When you’ve got one week under your belt, feel great about what you’ve accomplished. Then, immediately, while continuing to steer clear of the item you banished in Week One, start Week Two by ridding something else from your diet. Every week, until you’ve completely cleansed your life of poison and toxins, eliminate one more thing. Apply the same mindset, dedication, technique, and excitement you used in Week One. Resign yourself to purifying your thoughts, body, and kitchen of this crappy vice item; realize you’ve just made your life better by not letting this item infect you anymore; gross yourself out thinking about what exactly it is and the effects it has on your body; think of how bad it makes you feel when you partake in it; and finally, remember that if you did choose to eat/smoke/drink it, it wouldn’t make you happy or fulfilled.
Never feel like or say you are “giving up” your favorite foods.
Those words have a negative connotation, like you are sacrificing something. You’re not giving up anything. You are simply empowered now and able to make educated, controlled choices about what you will and won’t put into your body, your temple. Be grateful that you now know the truth about the foods you used to poison yourself with.
Let all you think and speak of regarding this life change be positive.
People who have positive attitudes are much more successful than those who don’t. Be excited about feeling clean, pure, healthy, energized, happy, and buff. Enjoy every second of this metamorphosis, knowing the journey is as important as the end result.
Confucius never said, “A hungry man is a bratty, babyish asshole,” but he should have. Because it’s true. A hungry man is a wah-wah crybaby, who will destroy everything and everyone in his path if hunger is allowed to set in. So you must always be prepared with healthy food on hand. Otherwise, seriously, you will fall off the wagon almost immediately. Your kitchen should be stocked at all times with the appropriate foods. Pack your lunch and a snack for school or work. Keep an emergency stash in your car, at your desk, and in your murse (man-purse).
Never, ever get caught with your pants down. Unfortunately, depending on where you live, restaurants may not be a safe place for the first month. The menu might not have any vegan or even vegetarian options, and it is easy to be hypnotized by the seductive smells of cooking. This doesn’t mean you can’t eat out ever again as long as you live. Just for thirty days. (Unless there are good veggie-friendly restaurants in your neighborhood. Asian, Mexican, and Italian restaurants almost always have veggie choices.) You can’t expect to change your life without a few minor adjustments. Your only priority for thirty days is to adhere to the regimen you’re creating. Without straying. After you achieve thirty days of pure eating, you’ll feel confident you have what it takes to get the job done. “I just survived thirty days. I’m so proud of myself. This is the healthiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. If I want to, I can eat an old vice item. But why would I? I just made it thirty consecutive days. I’m going to keep going.” If you test yourself before thirty days, you are setting yourself up for failure. Be patient and strong.
When you reach the thirty-day milestone, don’t run out and gorge yourself on crap. In fact, just keep doing what you’ve been doing. See and feel all the positive changes in your body, energy level, and selfesteem. Alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, and food are all addictive, physically and psychologically. Chances are, even after the thirty days, if you indulge in a vice item, you might go off the deep end. It is well known in Alcoholics Anonymous that you’re only “one drink away from your next drunk.” This means we think we can control our addictions. “I’ll just have one drink. I’ll just have pizza this one time. I’ll just eat half a piece of cake.” The truth of the matter is that we are powerless over our addictions. We don’t want to make you feel like you can never eat your favorite foods ever again. We just want to impress upon you that it is very easy to obliterate all your progress with one bite, sip, or puff.
After one month of pure living, if you did eat the food you’ve been fantasizing about, you probably wouldn’t even enjoy it. Really. You’d see that your brain has been tricking you and your taste buds all along.
Now that your taste buds have healed and become more sensitized and your brain knows the truth, those old chemical, sugary, artificial, dead, rotting foods will taste “off” or “less than” somehow.
If you do decide to partake in a vice item after thirty days, it cannot be out of weakness or for lack of preparation. You should never be somewhere and just say, “Fuck it.” It should be a calculated, scheduled, premeditated choice. The portion should be decided on beforehand, should be smaller than you would normally have had, and served on a plate. (The package should be put away before you start eating.) Sit down at a table. Eat very slowly. Try not to finish the whole thing. Do not have another serving. Take note of how you feel while you’re eating it, immediately after, an hour later, in bed that night, and the next day. Chances are, because your body is now pure, the vice item will make you feel a little nauseated or headache-y at the very least. And it most certainly won’t taste as good as you imagine it will.
Do not discount these negative feelings. They are your new, healthy, clean, pure organs speaking to you.
Enough of all this melodrama. It’s not like you’re gonna be hungry and cranky for all of eternity. We know that dieters always “crash” when their favorite foods become forbidden. So we devised the Skinny Bastard plan to allow for cookies, cakes, chocolate, burgers, ice cream, etc. They just aren’t the same ones you’re used to. You’re not giving up anything; you’re just trading in all your old, gross food. Big deal. The new stuff is just as good. So don’t kid yourself with the old “I had a craving” routine. Nobody’s buying it.
The only thing more annoying than the “Where do you get your protein?” question is the “My body is craving meat, I must need protein” comment. Most cravings are not reliable indicators of what your body needs. Smokers crave cigarettes, alcoholics crave alcohol, drug addicts crave drugs, and junk food eaters crave junk. If you eat shit for a few days and you begin to crave a salad or a piece of fruit, that’s a craving you can trust. Otherwise, it’s just your addiction talking. Bitchslap it and get a hold of yourself. But feel free to try and understand your addiction first.
For us to survive, our brains came equipped with dopamine, a pleasure-producing chemical. Dopamine is released during sex (or even just while flirting) so that we’ll procreate and the human race won’t die out. And food stimulates dopamine release so that we’ll remember to eat and nourish our bodies. Basically, anything the brain perceives as enjoyable will cause dopamine to lock onto brain cells and build a permanent memory trace of where pleasure comes from.
Even though this evolved out of the need for survival, sometimes it can be a bad thing. Heroin, cocaine, alcohol, and nicotine all trigger the brain’s pleasure circuitry. And not surprisingly, chocolate, sugar, and cheese affect this same part of the brain. So you see, we can be physiologically addicted to food. Any food can trigger the brain’s pleasure center. Some of us are fortunate enough to experience dopamine ecstasy while eating broccoli, and we actually crave this healthy food.
But the types of food and the degree of pleasure they bring will differ from one person to the next. The trick is resetting our memory traces to feel pleasure from healthy food and no pleasure from junk food.
Easier said than done. Especially for people who are addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs or who are overweight. Studies have shown that these people have fewer receptors for dopamine than other people. For them, the pleasure-giving chemical has fewer places to attach to brain cells, making it difficult for them to experience pleasurable feelings. So, because they aren’t getting that “pleasure rush,” they tend to smoke, drink, use drugs, gamble, or overeat. Now don’t automatically diagnose yourself as one these people and assume you’ll never get healthy. We are not at the mercy of our bodies. We are the commanders of our bodies.
Unless we eat cheese. Cheese will rule our lives and fatten our asses if we don’t kick the addiction. Cow’s milk actually has traces of morphine in it!508 And for once, we can’t blame factory farming. Morphine, along with codeine and other opiates, are naturally produced in cows’ livers and end up in their milk. But that’s not all. All milk, whether from a cow or a human, contains casein, a protein that breaks apart during digestion and releases a whole slew of opiates. All these “feel good” chemicals exist so that newborns will nurse and thrive and to ensure a bond between mothers and their young.
Are you starting to get the picture? When a woman breastfeeds, her milk has an almost drug-like effect on the baby. The baby is totally hooked. He’ll cry, not because he’s hungry, but because he needs “a fix” of that pleasurable feeling produced by the opiates. Nature has guaran teed that our babies will nurse and grow. And when they reach a certain age, we wean them and stop giving them these “drugs.” And they’re fine. But then we start them on cows’ milk and an addiction is born.
All dairy products contain casein, but cheese has the highest concentration. In fact, cheese contains far more casein than is naturally found in cows’ milk. It also has phenylethylamine, an amphetamine-like chemical. So when we kid around and say, “I am addicted to cheese,” it’s not a joke—it’s true. We are chemically addicted to cheese.
Casein even finds its way into soy cheese. Whether manufacturers use it to up the protein content, to aid in melting, or because they know of its addictive quality, casein still has the same effect. So if you see casein on the list of ingredients, run! (Follow Your Heart cheeses are casein-free and totally vegan, so enjoy.) The following hormones and natural chemicals have all been identified in cows’ milk: prolactin, somatostatin, melatonin, oxytocin, growth hormone, leuteinizing hormone-releasing hormone, thyrotropin-releasing hormone, thyroid-stimulating hormone, vasoactive intestinal peptide, calcitonin, parathyroid hormone, corticosteroids, estrogens, progesterone, insulin, epidermal growth factor, insulin-like growth factor, erythropoietin, bombesin, neurotensin, motilin, and cholecystokinin. If you think your will is strong enough to conquer all those motherfuckers, you’re on drugs! Dairy is fattening, and if you eat it, you’ll never find your abs. You cannot control your addiction. You can’t “just have one slice of pizza” or “only have cheese at parties.” You’re “only one piece of cheese” away from a total relapse.
Eat the substitutes; they’ll get you through.
Thankfully, our bodies produce a few different chemical substances that help tame our appetites. One such hormone, leptin, is made by our fat cells. When fat cells in our bodies get adequate nourishment, they release leptin into the blood for two purposes. The first is to alert the brain to diminish the appetite. Next, our metabolism gets boosted, encouraging the body’s cells to burn calories more quickly. Pretty cool, huh? Until we start “dieting.” Typical low-calorie diets confuse the body into thinking it’s starving. So our fat cells slow down their leptin production to help increase our appetites. Release the hounds!
Now we feel like we’re starving! So we trash our diets and binge like beasts. But diets high in fat don’t fare any better. Fatty diets (think animal products) also lower leptin levels. You know where this is headed:
Low-fat, plant-based diets actually boost leptin levels, helping each molecule of leptin to work more effectively. So help yourself succeed.
Eating healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans will help curb your appetite and stimulate your metabolism.
Even if you do have some serious cravings, the good thing about the Skinny Bastard plan is that there are plenty of naughty-tasting foods that you don’t need to feel bad about. So eat all day long. As long as everything you put in your mouth meets Skinny Bastard approval, it’s fine. Just be sure that when you’re full, you stop eating. We know this is a foreign concept, but we’re hoping it’ll catch on. Visualize the actual size of your stomach (about the size of a one-quart container). Imagine what size you want it to be. There is no need to cram it full and stretch the shit out of it three times a day, every day, for your entire life. Look at the portion you put on your plate. Do you think it will fit in your stomach nicely, or that you’ll need to force it in? Pare down.
Just because you’re “starving,” you don’t need to eat faster. When you’re done eating, if you have the hiccups, indigestion, a stomachache, or you’re burping and farting, that means you’re eating too fast and gulping down air. Slow down. Breathe evenly. Conversely, make sure you aren’t holding your breath. Also, be sure to chew your food purposefully and slowly. Rest in between bites. Do not watch TV, read a magazine, talk on the phone, or do anything else while you are Don’t Be a Pussy eating. The goal is to know when you’re full (without having stuffed yourself) and be able to put the fork down. You aren’t six anymore.
You won’t get the praise of elders for cleaning your plate. It’s okay to leave food on your plate.
But if you do still get off on scoring brownie points, you can earn extra credit by fasting. Yeah, fasting—willfully abstaining from food.
For more than 5,000 years, fasting has been used as a healthy method of weight loss. It is also a powerful tool for cleaning, flushing, detoxifying, and maintaining the body and healing illnesses, minor and major. When we eat, all of our body’s energy goes toward digesting, using, and storing the food and eliminating the waste. When we don’t eat, all of our body’s energy goes toward cleaning house. And with all the years of abuse, our house could sure use a cleaning. We absorb toxic chemicals from food, drinks, and the environment. Our body eliminates some of these through waste, but the rest remain as chemical byproducts and free radicals (highly reactive chemicals that damage cells and contribute to premature aging, heart disease, and cancer). Fasting gets rid of these toxins. It also increases our blood’s white cell count, which boosts immunity and protects us from disease.
And because fasting is beneficial for the circulatory system, you can expect better skin and hair.
Fasts can last anywhere from twenty-four hours to ten days or more. It’s all up to you and how much you need to cleanse, but even just one day once a month is beneficial. There are too many types of fasts to cover them all, so we’ll explain just a few. It is imperative to really read up on fasting before diving in.
A particular favorite is a raw or “live” food fast, when, obviously, you eat only raw foods for however many days you choose. This is a great beginner’s fast because you reap the benefits of fasting while still being able to actually eat. It’s also a good fast to do if you want to work your way up to a more stringent fast, like a juice fast, where the only thing you put in your body is fresh-pressed or fresh-squeezed juice (not pasteurized or packaged). Whether it’s fruit juice, veggie juice, or both, the enzymes are wonderful aides in the cleansing process. A liquid fast is similar to the juice fast, but includes soups, too (no beans or rice or chunks—just liquid). The alkalizing properties of the juices and soups help to neutralize the toxins being released from the body. For this and other reasons, the hardest fast is a water fast, where you have nothing but water. Don’t be a competitive asshole and launch yourself into this fast from the diet you exist on now. You’ve gotta learn to crawl before you can walk.
Most people like to ease into a fast. They might eat smaller portions for a week prior. Or if they usually eat vegan junk food, they might abstain in preparation. We highly recommend eating as purely as possible a week or two leading up to a fast. (Meat-eaters should go vegetarian and then vegan before fasting.) It makes the transition more gradual and less jarring. Regardless of which fast you choose, be sure to drink a lot of water throughout. Your body will be detoxing like crazy, and you don’t want to become dehydrated.
All fasts are challenging, both physically and mentally. Do not expect it to be easy, especially at the beginning when you find yourself salivating over foods you don’t normally even care about. But eventually, you get to a place where you are truly not hungry, and you feel light, clean, clear, and almost divine. When you do reintroduce food back into your diet, which should be done slowly, with great care, you are almost repulsed by things you previously ate. It is quite beautiful to have such a new, fresh perspective. Periodic repeated fasts are especially useful for this reason. They help our bodies and minds establish a new relationship with food. In fact, because of this, fasting can even be used to overcome addictions. When we eliminate the toxins that cause “cell memory cravings,” we can eradicate the need for the food or drug that provided those toxins.
Not surprisingly, some people experience headaches, weakness, nausea, cramping, stomach pains, sweating, a swollen tongue, bad breath, general aches and pains, increased temperature, or depression while fasting. Abstaining from food does not cause these ailments.
They are simply normal side effects of fasting. After two to three days of fasting, the body goes into autolysis and actually starts digesting its own cells. With its wisdom, the body selectively decomposes the tissues and cells that are in excess (fat), diseased, damaged, old, or dead. The body is literally digesting and expelling poisons, toxins, and bad cells that were already there—and it feels crappy. This is actually a good thing, because the body is finally able to tackle some problems that were lurking within.
During a fast, digestive enzymes are relieved from their usual role and instead act to cleanse and rejuvenate the body. This rejuvenation process includes the production of new cells. And when more cells are being produced than are dying, the aging process is actually being reversed. This phenomenon occurs during juice and water fasts.
Eventually, you’ll notice sharper senses of smell, sight, sound, and taste. You’ll feel lighter physically, mentally, and emotionally.
All magic aside, fasting is not for you if you’re underweight or suffering from severe wasting diseases, such as neurological degenerative diseases and certain cancers. Diabetics and people suffering from hypoglycemia can fast, but only with medical supervision. For that matter, anyone with any medical condition should consult his doctor before fasting.
Vitamins are an integral part of a healthy lifestyle. Here are some significant vitamins and minerals, a description of why they’re important, and which foods provide them. (Warning: this section is kinda boring.) Calcium strengthens bones, provides for healthy teeth, reduces risk of colon cancer, decreases chances of bone loss, aids the nervous system, and alleviates insomnia. Eat almonds, Brazil and other nuts, seeds, soybeans, kale, collard greens, broccoli, kelp, blackstrap molasses, and calcium-fortified soy or hemp milk to get calcium.
Folic acid promotes healthy skin, protects against parasites and food poisoning, and helps ward off anemia. To get folic acid, eat leafy green veggies, carrots, artichokes, fruit, cantaloupe, avocados, apricots, beans, lentils, soybeans, garbanzo beans, barley, and whole wheat.
Iron aids growth, promotes resistance to disease, prevents fatigue and anemia, and enhances good skin tone. It can be found in nuts, pumpkin seeds, beans, lentils, whole grains, oatmeal, asparagus, molasses, and seaweed.
Magnesium (known as the anti-stress mineral) fights depression, boosts energy, helps burn fat, prevents heart attacks, maintains good cholesterol levels, aids indigestion, and keeps teeth strong and healthy. When combined with calcium, it works as a natural tranquilizer. Eat nuts, seeds, sunflower seeds, green vegetables, soybeans, kelp (seaweed), and molasses to get a good dose.
Omega-3 fatty acids fight heart disease, lower bad cholesterol levels, help fight depression, lessen the likelihood of blood clots, reduce the risk of breast cancer, help with rheumatoid arthritis, and keep skin, hair, and nails healthy. (You know you care.) Sources for these fatty acids are flaxseeds, walnuts, soybeans, pumpkin seeds, canola oil, and hempseeds and their oil.
Potassium aids in reducing blood pressure, increases clear thinking by helping send oxygen to the brain, and helps the body dispose of waste. It’s found in bananas, citrus fruits, cantaloupe, tomatoes, watercress, green leafy vegetables, sunflower seeds, avocados, lentils, potatoes, and whole grains.
B vitamins improve mental attitude, aid in digestion, help migraine headaches, contribute to healthy skin, act as natural diuretics, strengthen immunity, increase energy, improve concentration and memory, and are good for the nervous system. Eat whole wheat, wheat germ, bran, oatmeal, whole grains, brown rice, beans, nuts, seeds, soybeans, lentils, dates, figs, bananas, and vegetables.
Vitamin C accelerates healing, lowers blood pressure, prevents colds, protects against cancer, and helps decrease blood cholesterol. It also forms collagen, which is important for growth, repair, tissue cells, blood vessels, gums, bones, and teeth. It’s easy to get vitamin C by eating broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, collard greens, green peppers, spinach, watercress, potatoes, grapefruits, oranges, and papayas.
Vitamin D, in conjunction with calcium and phosphorous, helps build strong bones and teeth. Not only does vitamin D help our bodies assimilate vitamin A, but it also prevents colds when teamed up with vitamins A and C. Vitamin D can be obtained from getting direct sun on the skin or from supplements.
Vitamin E keeps you looking younger, inhibits cancer cell growth, fights fatigue, prevents blood clots, lowers blood pressure, decreases the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and accelerates the healing of burns. It’s found in wheat germ, whole-grain cereals, whole wheat, nuts, sunflower seeds, leafy greens, and vegetable oils.
Zinc helps with infertility issues, is important for brain function, maintains the body’s acid/alkaline balance, aids in collagen formation, and helps form insulin (needed for many vital enzymes). Foods with high concentrations of zinc are wheat germ, whole grains, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, and soybeans.
When we eat properly, we can get almost all of the nutrients we need from food sources; however, all vegans and vegetarians should supplement with vitamins B-12 and D, as well as omega-3 fatty acids.
B-12 is made in the intestines of animals (even human animals), but we need more than what we make. 532 Research has shown that plants grown in high-quality soil have a good concentration of readily absorbable B-12. But sadly, nowadays, the soil quality has been depleted and compromised with poor farming methods and the use of all the pesticides and chemicals, and our plant foods may not supply us with adequate amounts of B-12.
Research of late has found that vitamin D deficiency is a big problem—not only for vegetarians, but for everyone. Vitamin D is in short supply in our food (even “good” sources, such as fish, may not be so great after all), and while sun exposure is the most common way to get D, it’s not enough for most. If you live north of Atlanta, you’re getting essentially no D during the winter. And if you wear sunscreen during summer, you can kiss the D goodbye all year long. Good vitamin D status protects us against a slew of diseases, including heart disease and cancer. Experts are recommending that we all take 1,000 International Units a day.
The omega-3s, again, are important for brain function, behavioral issues, and protection from chronic disease, and as we mentioned they can be found in whole grains, beans, seaweed, and soybean products.
Some people think that eating fish is a good source, but they’re also getting all the contaminants and toxic pollutants that were absorbed into the fish’s flesh. So instead, you can get your omega-3’s from the same source the fish gets it—microalgae, tiny sea plants. Luckily, you don’t have to go trolling the ocean floor; DHA microalgae supplements are available, and they, along with good plant sources of omega-3, will ensure a healthy supply. If you can’t find them in your local health store, get ‘em online at Vegetarianvitamin.com (Deva Vegan Omega-3 DHA softgels) or Veganessentials.com (Udo’s DHA Oil Blend or O-megaZen3 Liquid Vegan DHA Supplement by NuTru). Pop a cap a day.
Keep in mind that a healthy balance of fatty acids isn’t only about getting your 3s but about going easy on the omega-6s, which most of us get too much of. So maximize the foods high in omega 3s but at the same time, pass up the fried foods, fast food, high-fat snacks, and convenience foods, which are heavy on the 6s. Enjoy high mono fats too, like what you’ll get in olive oil and avocados, for an optimal balance of fats.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Skinny Bastards. Chapter 10. Have No Faith: The Government Doesn’t Give a Shit About Your Health.
Chapter 10 Have No Faith: The Government Doesn’t Give a Shit About Your Health The USDA: It’s Not What You Think.
President Abraham Lincoln founded the U.S. Department of Agriculture in 1862—when the majority of people were farmers and needed to exchange information about seeds and crops. In other words, the USDA was created to help farmers.
Now, among other things, the USDA is responsible for “the safety of meat, poultry, and egg products.”455 Hmm. That’s weird. ‘Cause many high-ranking staff members at the USDA were employed by, or are otherwise affiliated with, the meat and dairy industries. And if the group responsible for “the safety of meat, poultry, and egg products” is run by people from the same industries they’re supposed to be protecting us from . . . well, that would be a conflict of interest. And it is. An enormous, ridiculous, outrageous, catastrophic conflict of interest.
One former USDA secretary was forced to resign amid charges of accepting illegal corporate gifts from seven different companies. He was indicted on thirty-nine felony counts, including tampering with a witness, accepting illegal gratuities, making false statements, and violating the Meat Inspection Act of 1907. (Tyson Foods, one of the companies that admitted to giving the secretary corporate favors, was required to pay $4 million in fines and endure four years’ probation.
A mere slap on the wrist, when the USDA could’ve barred Tyson from selling food to military bases and schools. That would’ve really stung, considering Tyson sold more than $10 million worth of food to the Defense Department alone in 1996. But friends don’t treat each other that way.) President George W. Bush’s Agriculture secretary from January 2001 until January 2005, Ann Veneman, not only had ties with the company responsible for producing the controversial bovine growth hormone, she was also linked to a major meatpacking corporation.
It doesn’t stop there. She employed a spokeswoman who is the former public relations director for the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, a chief of staff who used to be its head lobbyist, a former president of the National Pork Producers Council, and former executives from the meatpacking industry, just to name a few.
Safety Last.
With that in mind, it’s no wonder Veneman vetoed a program that would test all U.S. cattle for mad cow disease. In fact, out of the 35 million cattle slaughtered in 2003, the USDA tested only 20,000 for mad cow disease. (Japan tests all of its cattle killed for human consumption.)461 Of course it wouldn’t be in a rancher’s best interest to test all of his cattle. If they were inflicted with mad cow disease, he couldn’t sell their meat, and he’d lose money. Heaven forbid the USDA risk a rancher’s profits.
So, to appear somewhat concerned about the prevention of mad cow disease, the USDA often refers to an FDA ban, which prohibits the feeding of ground-up cattle meat to live cattle. Big whoop.
Banning cannibalism is a no-brainer. But why even bother banning cannibalism when they still allow the feeding of cattle blood to young calves? Stanley Prusiner, a Nobel Prize winner for his work on mad cow disease, refers to this practice as “a really stupid idea.” 462 Think about it: A cow dies from mad cow disease, but no one knows, because it wasn’t one of the .05714 percent tested. Cattle ranchers are now forbidden to grind up this dead cow and feed it to other cows.
But they can give its blood to calves as part of their feed. How fucking stupid, disgusting, and dangerous is that?
The USDA also likes referring to another “safety” program in place called the National Animal Identification System (NAIS). The NAIS is a system for identifying an animal’s origin so that if its meat is found to be contaminated, it can be traced back to a specific farm.
(Forget testing as a preventive measure. Implement a system for after someone eats contaminated meat and we need a recall.) Participation in this program is voluntary. Wow, the USDA sure has tough rules governing the safety of our country’s meat.
The USDA’s website describing the NAIS actually has a section on “confidentiality.” It reads, “The NAIS will contain only information necessary for animal health officials to be able to track suspect ani mals and identify any other animals that may have been exposed to a disease. . . . To help assure participants that the information will be used only for animal health purposes, the information must be confidential. USDA and its state partners will work to protect data confidentiality.”464 What the fuck? The USDA will protect the data confidentiality of farms that are supplying the public with contaminated meat? Why don’t they just give all the ranchers blowjobs, too?
Many savvy consumers are catching on, and they know they cannot trust the USDA. According to the Organic Consumers Association, “Lester Friedlander, a former USDA veterinarian, says he was told by USDA officials as far back as 1991 that if his testing ever found evidence of mad cow disease, he was to tell no one. He and other scientists say they know of cases where cows tested positive for the disease in laboratories but were ruled negative by the USDA.”465 Trust no one!
Illegal hormones, which are suspected of increasing the growth of cancer cells in the humans who eat them, are regularly pumped into veal calves. The USDA has not only been accused of overlooking these practices but also of falsifying lab results, altering records, and pressuring staff to lie about events. Even the selfish assholes who eat veal don’t deserve that.
Business First.
None of us has deserved to be deceived all these years by the preposterous USDA Dietary Guidelines and Food Pyramid, either. In 1998, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) sued the USDA and the Department of Health and Human Services.
PCRM claimed that federal laws were violated when the USDA selected six out of eleven people with financial ties to various food industries to serve on the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee.
The committee members’ affiliations included the American Meat Institute, National Livestock and Beef Board, the American Egg Board, the National Dairy Promotion and Research Program, the National Dairy Council, Dannon Company (yogurt), Mead Johnson Nutritionals (milk-based infant formulas), Nestlé (milk-based formulas, ice cream, condensed milk), and Slim-Fast (milk-based diet products). How dare they?
PCRM also charged that the Dietary Guidelines—which recommended dairy products—were racially biased because most nonwhites are lactose intolerant. According to Johnson & Johnson, lactose intolerance affects “over 50 percent of the Hispanic American population, 75 percent of Native Americans, 80 percent of African Americans, and 90 percent of Asian Americans.”469 Why does Johnson & Johnson care about the millions of minorities suffering from lactose intolerance? Because they can target these individuals for buying Lactaid, a product they hawk for aiding in dairy digestion.
Even though you are lactose intolerant and your body thoroughly rejects dairy products, eat them anyway. Just buy and take our drug so you don’t feel sick afterward. Ugh, that just makes us sick with rage.
Got $50 billion? The milk industry does, so they’ve got the USDA in their back pocket. The California Milk Processor Board (CMPB) was established in 1993 to increase milk sales in California. They were responsible for the campaigns that targeted children: “Got milk?” and “Milk. It does a body good.” The CMPB is funded by all California milk processors but administered by the California Department of Food and Agriculture. The National Fluid Milk Processor Promotion Board (Fluid Board) conceived of the “Milk Mustache” campaign, which targets young adults. The USDA’s Agriculture Monitoring Service administers the Fluid Board. Meaning, in essence, the California Department of Agriculture and the USDA are managing advertising campaigns for the milk industry. Under the guise of advancing health, they managed to dupe President Bill Clinton while he was in office into posing for their ads. They also had the audacity to feature the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna Shalala, sporting that stupid “milk mustache.”472 The Secretary of Health and Human Services using her status and title to promote a commercial product! Would she appear in ads for Pepsi or Nike? Say it out loud:
conflict of interest. They’ve even got the U.S. Surgeon General in on the act. In the first-ever report on “the state of the nation’s bones,” the Surgeon General warned of an impending “osteoporosis crisis” expected by the year 2020. To ward off this potential disaster, the report recommended three glasses of milk a day. Guess who issued the report? The Department of Health and Human Services. Ughck. In 2007, the “Body By Milk” campaign suggested that three servings of dairy per day would help people lose weight. They even enlisted NY Yankee, Alex Rodriguez, to help out. But according to the Federal Trade Commission, scientific research did not support the dairy industry’s claim, and thankfully, the campaign was ended. Trust no one.
The horrors committed by the USDA could fill an entire book. But we shouldn’t be surprised. Although they don’t list it as part of their primary mission statement, the USDA admits to being “committed to helping America’s farmers and ranchers.”475 The same USDA responsible for “the safety” of meat, poultry, dairy, and eggs also promotes the sale of them. In fact, they even go so far as to purchase the products themselves, using our tax dollars. In 2005, the government spent $385 million on beef and cheese (yet only about $50 million for fresh fruits and vegetables). Farmers growing fruits and veggies received less than 1 percent of direct subsidies, while producers of meat, dairy, and feed crops got 73 percent! Between 1996 and 2005, meat subsidies reached nearly three billion dollars, and dairy product subsidies were 3.12 billion! Wow. It must be nice for these industries to have the USDA bailing them out whenever they have a surplus of items. What, exactly, do they do with all this food that we pay for?
Ever hear of the National School Lunch Program (NSLP)? It’s a nationwide $8 billion scheme that allows the USDA to buy up all this meat, milk, and cheese with our tax dollars and then dump this crap into the bodies of more than 28 million school children. Ever wonder why school lunches are required to include milk? The NSLP directly benefits the meat, dairy, and poultry industries at the expense of our nation’s children. In 2003, over half of the USDA’s $41.6 billion budget was used for food assistance and nutrition programs for lowincome families and children.
In 1999, a ground beef plant in Texas failed a series of USDA tests for salmonella. The tests showed that as much as 47 percent of the company’s ground beef contained salmonella—a proportion 5 times higher than what USDA regulations allow. Despite this and the fact that high levels of salmonella in ground beef indicate high levels of fecal contamination, the USDA continued to purchase thousands of tons of the meat for distribution in schools. In fact, this company was one of the nation’s largest suppliers for the school meals, providing as much as 45 percent of the program’s ground meat.
Contamination aside, according to Michele Simon of the Center for Informed Food Choices, “One evaluation of the commodity foods program estimates that 70 percent of the items offered exceed the U.S. dietary guidelines for fat.”482 For decades, consumer advocacy groups have been horrified by this unhealthy, profit-driven arrangement. With the backing of countless parents, physicians, and nutritionists, they have battled to get soy milk and other healthier choices approved by the USDA for use in school lunches. But the USDA (aka the beef, pork, poultry, and dairy industries) wants no part in this, of course.
The USDA has fifteen food assistance programs, including ones for the elderly, homeless, military, and poor. It is estimated that one in five Americans will take part in this $53 billion program. Sounds like the USDA is helping to feed a lot of people, right? Right. They are feeding them fattening, unhealthy, artery-clogging, heart-stopping, acid-producing, contaminated meat, poultry, and dairy—with our money. How generous.
Organic or Not?
It’s not enough that they dictate all things meat and dairy, the USDA even sticks its big nose into our organic products, too. In April 2004, the USDA made sweeping changes to its National Organic Program (NOP) standards. The new rules infuriated organic farmers and consumers because: livestock were allowed to eat nonorganic fishmeal, even if it contained toxins or synthetic preservatives; cows and calves given growth hormones, antibiotics, or other drugs could still provide the public with “organic” milk as long as a year had passed since the drugs were administered; pesticides could be used even if they contained unknown inert ingredients as long as a “reasonable effort” had been made to identify them; and seafood, pet food, clothing, fertilizers, and body care products could be labeled organic without being monitored by the USDA. Not only were people livid with the actual changes but also with the decision-making process. By law, these types of regulatory changes are required to undergo a period of public comment before being enacted. There was no comment period, just an announcement of changes after the fact.
According to Ronnie Cummins, national director of Organic Consumers Association (OCA), “Rather than comply with regulations which uphold the integrity of organic food, corporate-run factory farms, who want a piece of the $11 billion a year organic industry, are manipulating the USDA and Congress to change the rules to suit their toxic-industrial style of farming. Allowing nonorganic and potentially genetically engineered feed to be included under the definition of organic is a major setback for the integrity of what is the fastest growing sector of the food industry in this country.”486 Thanks to the phone calls, letters, e-mails, and faxes of many pissed-off consumers, the USDA reversed all these changes in May 2004.
Even so, many people are still mistrustful of the USDA. The nonprofit group Center for Food Safety (CFS) claims that the USDA may be allowing “sham” certifiers under the umbrella of the NOP.
Their suspicions were aroused by the high volume of certifications issued within a short time. These worries were heightened when the USDA refused to provide CFS with requested documents, even though they were required to do so under the Freedom of Information Act.
Other environmental groups along with the OCA have joined a lawsuit against the USDA. Among their complaints is the fact that the USDA’s NOP created an additional category of certified products, which directly opposes legislation put in place by Congress. They state, “When Congress has spoken clearly on a subject, USDA has no discretion to rewrite the statute making exceptions that dilute the standards of the Act.”489 Can you believe the nerve of these USDA fuckers?
Going against laws created by our elected officials and making up their own rules? It’s fucking mutiny is what it is. Trust no one.
Surely you’ve seen the “organic” Horizon brand of dairy products in your grocery store? It is the nation’s largest supplier of organic dairy products. Well, it just so happens that Horizon has been accused of violating organic standards. The Cornucopia Institute, a watchdog group in support of organic agriculture, filed two complaints with the USDA. They allege that two major farms that supply Horizon with milk are confining cows in an industrial setting and denying them access to pasture, yet are still calling their products organic.
Why is all this allowed to happen? Don’t our elected officials know what’s going on? Why don’t they try to stop this? Some do. But many politicians are in bed with the evil industries. In 2000, more than $34 million was made in campaign contributions. Hate to sound like a broken record, but trust no one.
Is Everyone in the FDA on Drugs?
This greed-induced immorality isn’t applicable just to Congress or the USDA. The Food and Drug Administration is a pathetic facade, too. In 1990, the Monsanto Company sought FDA approval for Posilac, a commercialized form of bovine growth hormone (BGH, used to increase cows’ milk production). Even though the test study linked the hormone to prostate and thyroid cancer, the FDA approved Posilac. Of course, these damning test results weren’t made available to the public until 1998, when a group of scientists conducted an independent analysis of the study. They found that the FDA never even reviewed Monsanto’s findings! More recently, BGH has been linked to increased levels of Insulin Growth Factor-1, a cancer promoter. But the FDA has no interest in these findings, either. Or the fact that both the World Trade Organization and The United Nations Food Standards Body refuse to endorse the hormone’s safety. And they certainly don’t mind that BGH milk is banned in all of the European Union, Canada, Japan, and every other industrialized country in the world. Fucking dumbasses.
Why would the FDA knowingly allow a cancer-causing hormone into our milk supply? One theory highlights the fact that the FDA deputy commissioner at the time of the Posilac approval was a former Monsanto lawyer. And during his tenure at the FDA, this same deputy commissioner wrote the policy exempting BGH from special labeling. Yet, fingers also point to a former top scientist with Monsanto, who was hired by the FDA to review her own research, conducted while she was working for Monsanto. This little beauty also allowed a hundredfold increase of antibiotic residues in milk.
The FDA’s bad behavior isn’t singular to the dairy industry. It also has a sketchy history with monosodium glutamate (MSG). One former FDA commissioner testified before the Senate Select Committee on Nutrition that MSG was safe, citing four sources. It was later dis covered that two of the studies were nonexistent, and the other two were incomplete!
Secrets and lies. It’s just too much to bear. So let’s also play the “I’m not telling” game. Ever see the words “natural flavors” on food packaging ingredient lists? Yeah, that’s because the FDA allows companies to be vague and doesn’t require them to tell us exactly what we’re eating. The FDA has a list of approximately 300 foods that meet a “standard of identity,” meaning companies aren’t required to spell out their ingredients. For example, ice cream manufacturers can use any of twenty-five specified additives without listing them in their ingredients. Who wants to put something into his or her body without even knowing what it is?
You Are Your Only Chance.
If you want to get healthy/buff, you can rely on only yourself. If you adapt only one practice from this book, let it be this: Read the ingredients. Forget counting carbs, adding calories, and multiplying fat grams. Just read the ingredients. It doesn’t matter how many calories or carbs or fat grams something has. You don’t need the government’s asinine recommended daily allowances to tell you how to eat. Just read the ingredients. If they are healthy, wholesome, and pure—dive in. If there is refined sugar, white or bleached flour, hydrogenated oils, any animal products, artificial anything, or some scary looking word that you don’t know—don’t eat it. We can’t make it any simpler. Just read the ingredients and completely ignore all the other gibber-jabber bullshit the government calls for on the packaging. Fuck them. Trust no one. Get ripped.
And no matter what, do not fall prey to clever adjectives used on the packaging. The companies that call their products “wholesome” or “nutritious” can be the same ones that add hydrogenated oils, artificial flavors, or synthetic preservatives. Just read the ingredients of everything you buy. It’s not a big deal, assuming you are literate.
There is so much bureaucracy and red tape surrounding health-related government agencies that you are much better off fending for yourself. After all, why would anyone take nutritional advice from organizations that let color dyes, hydrogenated oils, chemical preservatives, and artificial flavors into the food we eat?
The EPA Makes Us Sick.
StarLink corn, a genetically modified organism, contains an insecticidal protein deemed unsafe for human consumption. But the Environmental Protection Agency allows the use of StarLink for livestock feed. Let humans eat the animals who ate the corn? That’s safe? Duh.
Clearly, nothing is sacred to the group that allows rocket fuel in our milk supply. Yeah, you heard right. Rocket fuel. In milk. Thanks to the Pentagon, ammonium perchlorate, the main explosive component in rocket fuel, has been lurking around our environment for decades. It finds its way into water used for growing feed crops for cattle. Cows eat these contaminated crops, resulting in contaminated milk. Whether you are drinking milk or eating dairy products made with this milk, you are ingesting perchlorate. And the EPA actually makes allowances for a “provisional daily safe dose.”497 We’re sorry, but where we’re from— Earth—there is no acceptable amount to ingest where explosive components are concerned. Even if you believe any amount to be safe, tests revealed milk perchlorate levels well above the EPA’s index.
Studies conducted by the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization, found every single milk sample tested in Texas to be contaminated. California’s own Food and Agriculture Department found that milk off the grocers’ shelves had five times the EPA’s “safe dose” of perchlorate. But, of course, the California Food and Agriculture Department did not release these results. Instead, they were brought to light by the EWG. Although both the dairy industry and government agencies acknowledge that there could be some health risks associated with perchlorate, they maintain that we should keep drinking milk for its “calcium, protein, and minerals.”498 We’ll let you use your own heads on this one.
Regardless of your political affiliation, please know this: The Bush Administration continuously asked for exemptions on behalf of the military and chemical companies, allowing them to continue this contamination and to shirk responsibility for cleanup. In fact, the Bush administration’s EPA was widely criticized on many counts of environmental pollution that affect our food and water supply. Like the USDA’s pathetic voluntary program, the EPA has its own version of letting agribusiness trample all over public health and safety.
Collaborating closely with the U.S. Poultry and Egg Association and the National Pork Producers Council (NPPC), the EPA developed a voluntary air-monitoring program. Disregard the notion that the EPA blames factory farming for 73 percent of all ammonia (fumes from all the shit and piss of farm animals) released into the air nationwide.
Never mind the fact that the EPA names factory farming to be the single largest contributor of polluted American waterways. Factory farmers do not have to submit to EPA monitoring programs. If it pleases them, they can volunteer. How civilized.
Outraged by the EPA’s lack of enforcement, opponents point out that the factory farming industry made $3.46 million in campaign contributions, benefiting mostly Republican federal candidates. The NPPC even went so far as to present President Bush with its “Friend of the Pork Producer” award in 2004, thanking him for his help in “shaping environmental policies impacting agriculture.”500 Yeah, um, thanks for that.
Trust No One.
Whether you love him or hate him, President Clinton’s administration tried to “implement a tough, science-based food inspection system,” according to Eric Schlosser, bestselling author of Fast Food Nation. Sad to say, however, these attempts were squashed when the Republican party gained control of Congress in 1994. Schlosser revealed, “The meatpacking industry’s allies in Congress worked hard to thwart modernization of the nation’s meat inspection system.
A great deal of effort was spent denying the federal government any authority to recall contaminated meat or impose civil fines on firms that knowingly ship contaminated products. . . . The Clinton Administration backed legislation to provide the USDA with the authority to demand meat recalls and impose civil fines on meatpackers. [But] Republicans in Congress failed to enact not only that bill, but also similar legislation [for four consecutive years]. . . .
Under current law, the USDA cannot demand a recall [of contaminated meat].” Can you fucking believe this? If a company decides voluntarily to recall contaminated meat, “it is under no legal obligation to inform the public—or even health officials—that a recall is taking place.”501 Now, we don’t mean to say that everyone working for the government is evil. There are some decent, caring, moral, intelligent, well-intentioned people working for the FDA, EPA, and USDA. One former staff attorney-turned-environmentalist said the EPA “hasn’t initiated one investigation in four years. They’re not doing anything.”502 See, she’s a “good guy”! She finked on the EPA. Unfortunately, however, the majority of good guys seem to be lost in the shuffle of politics and greed within these groups.
So do yourself a favor and trust no one. Read ingredients. Ignore everything else. And, if you’re totally incensed by what you’ve just learned, do something. Contact your representatives, senators, the president, and vice president, and demand reform of these crooked, self-serving agencies. Go to www.congress.org to send a quick e-mail to these politicians. While you’re at it, write a letter to the editor of your favorite magazine or newspaper and ask others to join the crusade. Visit www.congress.org and click on the “media guide” to access their contact information.
President Abraham Lincoln founded the U.S. Department of Agriculture in 1862—when the majority of people were farmers and needed to exchange information about seeds and crops. In other words, the USDA was created to help farmers.
Now, among other things, the USDA is responsible for “the safety of meat, poultry, and egg products.”455 Hmm. That’s weird. ‘Cause many high-ranking staff members at the USDA were employed by, or are otherwise affiliated with, the meat and dairy industries. And if the group responsible for “the safety of meat, poultry, and egg products” is run by people from the same industries they’re supposed to be protecting us from . . . well, that would be a conflict of interest. And it is. An enormous, ridiculous, outrageous, catastrophic conflict of interest.
One former USDA secretary was forced to resign amid charges of accepting illegal corporate gifts from seven different companies. He was indicted on thirty-nine felony counts, including tampering with a witness, accepting illegal gratuities, making false statements, and violating the Meat Inspection Act of 1907. (Tyson Foods, one of the companies that admitted to giving the secretary corporate favors, was required to pay $4 million in fines and endure four years’ probation.
A mere slap on the wrist, when the USDA could’ve barred Tyson from selling food to military bases and schools. That would’ve really stung, considering Tyson sold more than $10 million worth of food to the Defense Department alone in 1996. But friends don’t treat each other that way.) President George W. Bush’s Agriculture secretary from January 2001 until January 2005, Ann Veneman, not only had ties with the company responsible for producing the controversial bovine growth hormone, she was also linked to a major meatpacking corporation.
It doesn’t stop there. She employed a spokeswoman who is the former public relations director for the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, a chief of staff who used to be its head lobbyist, a former president of the National Pork Producers Council, and former executives from the meatpacking industry, just to name a few.
Safety Last.
With that in mind, it’s no wonder Veneman vetoed a program that would test all U.S. cattle for mad cow disease. In fact, out of the 35 million cattle slaughtered in 2003, the USDA tested only 20,000 for mad cow disease. (Japan tests all of its cattle killed for human consumption.)461 Of course it wouldn’t be in a rancher’s best interest to test all of his cattle. If they were inflicted with mad cow disease, he couldn’t sell their meat, and he’d lose money. Heaven forbid the USDA risk a rancher’s profits.
So, to appear somewhat concerned about the prevention of mad cow disease, the USDA often refers to an FDA ban, which prohibits the feeding of ground-up cattle meat to live cattle. Big whoop.
Banning cannibalism is a no-brainer. But why even bother banning cannibalism when they still allow the feeding of cattle blood to young calves? Stanley Prusiner, a Nobel Prize winner for his work on mad cow disease, refers to this practice as “a really stupid idea.” 462 Think about it: A cow dies from mad cow disease, but no one knows, because it wasn’t one of the .05714 percent tested. Cattle ranchers are now forbidden to grind up this dead cow and feed it to other cows.
But they can give its blood to calves as part of their feed. How fucking stupid, disgusting, and dangerous is that?
The USDA also likes referring to another “safety” program in place called the National Animal Identification System (NAIS). The NAIS is a system for identifying an animal’s origin so that if its meat is found to be contaminated, it can be traced back to a specific farm.
(Forget testing as a preventive measure. Implement a system for after someone eats contaminated meat and we need a recall.) Participation in this program is voluntary. Wow, the USDA sure has tough rules governing the safety of our country’s meat.
The USDA’s website describing the NAIS actually has a section on “confidentiality.” It reads, “The NAIS will contain only information necessary for animal health officials to be able to track suspect ani mals and identify any other animals that may have been exposed to a disease. . . . To help assure participants that the information will be used only for animal health purposes, the information must be confidential. USDA and its state partners will work to protect data confidentiality.”464 What the fuck? The USDA will protect the data confidentiality of farms that are supplying the public with contaminated meat? Why don’t they just give all the ranchers blowjobs, too?
Many savvy consumers are catching on, and they know they cannot trust the USDA. According to the Organic Consumers Association, “Lester Friedlander, a former USDA veterinarian, says he was told by USDA officials as far back as 1991 that if his testing ever found evidence of mad cow disease, he was to tell no one. He and other scientists say they know of cases where cows tested positive for the disease in laboratories but were ruled negative by the USDA.”465 Trust no one!
Illegal hormones, which are suspected of increasing the growth of cancer cells in the humans who eat them, are regularly pumped into veal calves. The USDA has not only been accused of overlooking these practices but also of falsifying lab results, altering records, and pressuring staff to lie about events. Even the selfish assholes who eat veal don’t deserve that.
Business First.
None of us has deserved to be deceived all these years by the preposterous USDA Dietary Guidelines and Food Pyramid, either. In 1998, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) sued the USDA and the Department of Health and Human Services.
PCRM claimed that federal laws were violated when the USDA selected six out of eleven people with financial ties to various food industries to serve on the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee.
The committee members’ affiliations included the American Meat Institute, National Livestock and Beef Board, the American Egg Board, the National Dairy Promotion and Research Program, the National Dairy Council, Dannon Company (yogurt), Mead Johnson Nutritionals (milk-based infant formulas), Nestlé (milk-based formulas, ice cream, condensed milk), and Slim-Fast (milk-based diet products). How dare they?
PCRM also charged that the Dietary Guidelines—which recommended dairy products—were racially biased because most nonwhites are lactose intolerant. According to Johnson & Johnson, lactose intolerance affects “over 50 percent of the Hispanic American population, 75 percent of Native Americans, 80 percent of African Americans, and 90 percent of Asian Americans.”469 Why does Johnson & Johnson care about the millions of minorities suffering from lactose intolerance? Because they can target these individuals for buying Lactaid, a product they hawk for aiding in dairy digestion.
Even though you are lactose intolerant and your body thoroughly rejects dairy products, eat them anyway. Just buy and take our drug so you don’t feel sick afterward. Ugh, that just makes us sick with rage.
Got $50 billion? The milk industry does, so they’ve got the USDA in their back pocket. The California Milk Processor Board (CMPB) was established in 1993 to increase milk sales in California. They were responsible for the campaigns that targeted children: “Got milk?” and “Milk. It does a body good.” The CMPB is funded by all California milk processors but administered by the California Department of Food and Agriculture. The National Fluid Milk Processor Promotion Board (Fluid Board) conceived of the “Milk Mustache” campaign, which targets young adults. The USDA’s Agriculture Monitoring Service administers the Fluid Board. Meaning, in essence, the California Department of Agriculture and the USDA are managing advertising campaigns for the milk industry. Under the guise of advancing health, they managed to dupe President Bill Clinton while he was in office into posing for their ads. They also had the audacity to feature the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna Shalala, sporting that stupid “milk mustache.”472 The Secretary of Health and Human Services using her status and title to promote a commercial product! Would she appear in ads for Pepsi or Nike? Say it out loud:
conflict of interest. They’ve even got the U.S. Surgeon General in on the act. In the first-ever report on “the state of the nation’s bones,” the Surgeon General warned of an impending “osteoporosis crisis” expected by the year 2020. To ward off this potential disaster, the report recommended three glasses of milk a day. Guess who issued the report? The Department of Health and Human Services. Ughck. In 2007, the “Body By Milk” campaign suggested that three servings of dairy per day would help people lose weight. They even enlisted NY Yankee, Alex Rodriguez, to help out. But according to the Federal Trade Commission, scientific research did not support the dairy industry’s claim, and thankfully, the campaign was ended. Trust no one.
The horrors committed by the USDA could fill an entire book. But we shouldn’t be surprised. Although they don’t list it as part of their primary mission statement, the USDA admits to being “committed to helping America’s farmers and ranchers.”475 The same USDA responsible for “the safety” of meat, poultry, dairy, and eggs also promotes the sale of them. In fact, they even go so far as to purchase the products themselves, using our tax dollars. In 2005, the government spent $385 million on beef and cheese (yet only about $50 million for fresh fruits and vegetables). Farmers growing fruits and veggies received less than 1 percent of direct subsidies, while producers of meat, dairy, and feed crops got 73 percent! Between 1996 and 2005, meat subsidies reached nearly three billion dollars, and dairy product subsidies were 3.12 billion! Wow. It must be nice for these industries to have the USDA bailing them out whenever they have a surplus of items. What, exactly, do they do with all this food that we pay for?
Ever hear of the National School Lunch Program (NSLP)? It’s a nationwide $8 billion scheme that allows the USDA to buy up all this meat, milk, and cheese with our tax dollars and then dump this crap into the bodies of more than 28 million school children. Ever wonder why school lunches are required to include milk? The NSLP directly benefits the meat, dairy, and poultry industries at the expense of our nation’s children. In 2003, over half of the USDA’s $41.6 billion budget was used for food assistance and nutrition programs for lowincome families and children.
In 1999, a ground beef plant in Texas failed a series of USDA tests for salmonella. The tests showed that as much as 47 percent of the company’s ground beef contained salmonella—a proportion 5 times higher than what USDA regulations allow. Despite this and the fact that high levels of salmonella in ground beef indicate high levels of fecal contamination, the USDA continued to purchase thousands of tons of the meat for distribution in schools. In fact, this company was one of the nation’s largest suppliers for the school meals, providing as much as 45 percent of the program’s ground meat.
Contamination aside, according to Michele Simon of the Center for Informed Food Choices, “One evaluation of the commodity foods program estimates that 70 percent of the items offered exceed the U.S. dietary guidelines for fat.”482 For decades, consumer advocacy groups have been horrified by this unhealthy, profit-driven arrangement. With the backing of countless parents, physicians, and nutritionists, they have battled to get soy milk and other healthier choices approved by the USDA for use in school lunches. But the USDA (aka the beef, pork, poultry, and dairy industries) wants no part in this, of course.
The USDA has fifteen food assistance programs, including ones for the elderly, homeless, military, and poor. It is estimated that one in five Americans will take part in this $53 billion program. Sounds like the USDA is helping to feed a lot of people, right? Right. They are feeding them fattening, unhealthy, artery-clogging, heart-stopping, acid-producing, contaminated meat, poultry, and dairy—with our money. How generous.
Organic or Not?
It’s not enough that they dictate all things meat and dairy, the USDA even sticks its big nose into our organic products, too. In April 2004, the USDA made sweeping changes to its National Organic Program (NOP) standards. The new rules infuriated organic farmers and consumers because: livestock were allowed to eat nonorganic fishmeal, even if it contained toxins or synthetic preservatives; cows and calves given growth hormones, antibiotics, or other drugs could still provide the public with “organic” milk as long as a year had passed since the drugs were administered; pesticides could be used even if they contained unknown inert ingredients as long as a “reasonable effort” had been made to identify them; and seafood, pet food, clothing, fertilizers, and body care products could be labeled organic without being monitored by the USDA. Not only were people livid with the actual changes but also with the decision-making process. By law, these types of regulatory changes are required to undergo a period of public comment before being enacted. There was no comment period, just an announcement of changes after the fact.
According to Ronnie Cummins, national director of Organic Consumers Association (OCA), “Rather than comply with regulations which uphold the integrity of organic food, corporate-run factory farms, who want a piece of the $11 billion a year organic industry, are manipulating the USDA and Congress to change the rules to suit their toxic-industrial style of farming. Allowing nonorganic and potentially genetically engineered feed to be included under the definition of organic is a major setback for the integrity of what is the fastest growing sector of the food industry in this country.”486 Thanks to the phone calls, letters, e-mails, and faxes of many pissed-off consumers, the USDA reversed all these changes in May 2004.
Even so, many people are still mistrustful of the USDA. The nonprofit group Center for Food Safety (CFS) claims that the USDA may be allowing “sham” certifiers under the umbrella of the NOP.
Their suspicions were aroused by the high volume of certifications issued within a short time. These worries were heightened when the USDA refused to provide CFS with requested documents, even though they were required to do so under the Freedom of Information Act.
Other environmental groups along with the OCA have joined a lawsuit against the USDA. Among their complaints is the fact that the USDA’s NOP created an additional category of certified products, which directly opposes legislation put in place by Congress. They state, “When Congress has spoken clearly on a subject, USDA has no discretion to rewrite the statute making exceptions that dilute the standards of the Act.”489 Can you believe the nerve of these USDA fuckers?
Going against laws created by our elected officials and making up their own rules? It’s fucking mutiny is what it is. Trust no one.
Surely you’ve seen the “organic” Horizon brand of dairy products in your grocery store? It is the nation’s largest supplier of organic dairy products. Well, it just so happens that Horizon has been accused of violating organic standards. The Cornucopia Institute, a watchdog group in support of organic agriculture, filed two complaints with the USDA. They allege that two major farms that supply Horizon with milk are confining cows in an industrial setting and denying them access to pasture, yet are still calling their products organic.
Why is all this allowed to happen? Don’t our elected officials know what’s going on? Why don’t they try to stop this? Some do. But many politicians are in bed with the evil industries. In 2000, more than $34 million was made in campaign contributions. Hate to sound like a broken record, but trust no one.
Is Everyone in the FDA on Drugs?
This greed-induced immorality isn’t applicable just to Congress or the USDA. The Food and Drug Administration is a pathetic facade, too. In 1990, the Monsanto Company sought FDA approval for Posilac, a commercialized form of bovine growth hormone (BGH, used to increase cows’ milk production). Even though the test study linked the hormone to prostate and thyroid cancer, the FDA approved Posilac. Of course, these damning test results weren’t made available to the public until 1998, when a group of scientists conducted an independent analysis of the study. They found that the FDA never even reviewed Monsanto’s findings! More recently, BGH has been linked to increased levels of Insulin Growth Factor-1, a cancer promoter. But the FDA has no interest in these findings, either. Or the fact that both the World Trade Organization and The United Nations Food Standards Body refuse to endorse the hormone’s safety. And they certainly don’t mind that BGH milk is banned in all of the European Union, Canada, Japan, and every other industrialized country in the world. Fucking dumbasses.
Why would the FDA knowingly allow a cancer-causing hormone into our milk supply? One theory highlights the fact that the FDA deputy commissioner at the time of the Posilac approval was a former Monsanto lawyer. And during his tenure at the FDA, this same deputy commissioner wrote the policy exempting BGH from special labeling. Yet, fingers also point to a former top scientist with Monsanto, who was hired by the FDA to review her own research, conducted while she was working for Monsanto. This little beauty also allowed a hundredfold increase of antibiotic residues in milk.
The FDA’s bad behavior isn’t singular to the dairy industry. It also has a sketchy history with monosodium glutamate (MSG). One former FDA commissioner testified before the Senate Select Committee on Nutrition that MSG was safe, citing four sources. It was later dis covered that two of the studies were nonexistent, and the other two were incomplete!
Secrets and lies. It’s just too much to bear. So let’s also play the “I’m not telling” game. Ever see the words “natural flavors” on food packaging ingredient lists? Yeah, that’s because the FDA allows companies to be vague and doesn’t require them to tell us exactly what we’re eating. The FDA has a list of approximately 300 foods that meet a “standard of identity,” meaning companies aren’t required to spell out their ingredients. For example, ice cream manufacturers can use any of twenty-five specified additives without listing them in their ingredients. Who wants to put something into his or her body without even knowing what it is?
You Are Your Only Chance.
If you want to get healthy/buff, you can rely on only yourself. If you adapt only one practice from this book, let it be this: Read the ingredients. Forget counting carbs, adding calories, and multiplying fat grams. Just read the ingredients. It doesn’t matter how many calories or carbs or fat grams something has. You don’t need the government’s asinine recommended daily allowances to tell you how to eat. Just read the ingredients. If they are healthy, wholesome, and pure—dive in. If there is refined sugar, white or bleached flour, hydrogenated oils, any animal products, artificial anything, or some scary looking word that you don’t know—don’t eat it. We can’t make it any simpler. Just read the ingredients and completely ignore all the other gibber-jabber bullshit the government calls for on the packaging. Fuck them. Trust no one. Get ripped.
And no matter what, do not fall prey to clever adjectives used on the packaging. The companies that call their products “wholesome” or “nutritious” can be the same ones that add hydrogenated oils, artificial flavors, or synthetic preservatives. Just read the ingredients of everything you buy. It’s not a big deal, assuming you are literate.
There is so much bureaucracy and red tape surrounding health-related government agencies that you are much better off fending for yourself. After all, why would anyone take nutritional advice from organizations that let color dyes, hydrogenated oils, chemical preservatives, and artificial flavors into the food we eat?
The EPA Makes Us Sick.
StarLink corn, a genetically modified organism, contains an insecticidal protein deemed unsafe for human consumption. But the Environmental Protection Agency allows the use of StarLink for livestock feed. Let humans eat the animals who ate the corn? That’s safe? Duh.
Clearly, nothing is sacred to the group that allows rocket fuel in our milk supply. Yeah, you heard right. Rocket fuel. In milk. Thanks to the Pentagon, ammonium perchlorate, the main explosive component in rocket fuel, has been lurking around our environment for decades. It finds its way into water used for growing feed crops for cattle. Cows eat these contaminated crops, resulting in contaminated milk. Whether you are drinking milk or eating dairy products made with this milk, you are ingesting perchlorate. And the EPA actually makes allowances for a “provisional daily safe dose.”497 We’re sorry, but where we’re from— Earth—there is no acceptable amount to ingest where explosive components are concerned. Even if you believe any amount to be safe, tests revealed milk perchlorate levels well above the EPA’s index.
Studies conducted by the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization, found every single milk sample tested in Texas to be contaminated. California’s own Food and Agriculture Department found that milk off the grocers’ shelves had five times the EPA’s “safe dose” of perchlorate. But, of course, the California Food and Agriculture Department did not release these results. Instead, they were brought to light by the EWG. Although both the dairy industry and government agencies acknowledge that there could be some health risks associated with perchlorate, they maintain that we should keep drinking milk for its “calcium, protein, and minerals.”498 We’ll let you use your own heads on this one.
Regardless of your political affiliation, please know this: The Bush Administration continuously asked for exemptions on behalf of the military and chemical companies, allowing them to continue this contamination and to shirk responsibility for cleanup. In fact, the Bush administration’s EPA was widely criticized on many counts of environmental pollution that affect our food and water supply. Like the USDA’s pathetic voluntary program, the EPA has its own version of letting agribusiness trample all over public health and safety.
Collaborating closely with the U.S. Poultry and Egg Association and the National Pork Producers Council (NPPC), the EPA developed a voluntary air-monitoring program. Disregard the notion that the EPA blames factory farming for 73 percent of all ammonia (fumes from all the shit and piss of farm animals) released into the air nationwide.
Never mind the fact that the EPA names factory farming to be the single largest contributor of polluted American waterways. Factory farmers do not have to submit to EPA monitoring programs. If it pleases them, they can volunteer. How civilized.
Outraged by the EPA’s lack of enforcement, opponents point out that the factory farming industry made $3.46 million in campaign contributions, benefiting mostly Republican federal candidates. The NPPC even went so far as to present President Bush with its “Friend of the Pork Producer” award in 2004, thanking him for his help in “shaping environmental policies impacting agriculture.”500 Yeah, um, thanks for that.
Trust No One.
Whether you love him or hate him, President Clinton’s administration tried to “implement a tough, science-based food inspection system,” according to Eric Schlosser, bestselling author of Fast Food Nation. Sad to say, however, these attempts were squashed when the Republican party gained control of Congress in 1994. Schlosser revealed, “The meatpacking industry’s allies in Congress worked hard to thwart modernization of the nation’s meat inspection system.
A great deal of effort was spent denying the federal government any authority to recall contaminated meat or impose civil fines on firms that knowingly ship contaminated products. . . . The Clinton Administration backed legislation to provide the USDA with the authority to demand meat recalls and impose civil fines on meatpackers. [But] Republicans in Congress failed to enact not only that bill, but also similar legislation [for four consecutive years]. . . .
Under current law, the USDA cannot demand a recall [of contaminated meat].” Can you fucking believe this? If a company decides voluntarily to recall contaminated meat, “it is under no legal obligation to inform the public—or even health officials—that a recall is taking place.”501 Now, we don’t mean to say that everyone working for the government is evil. There are some decent, caring, moral, intelligent, well-intentioned people working for the FDA, EPA, and USDA. One former staff attorney-turned-environmentalist said the EPA “hasn’t initiated one investigation in four years. They’re not doing anything.”502 See, she’s a “good guy”! She finked on the EPA. Unfortunately, however, the majority of good guys seem to be lost in the shuffle of politics and greed within these groups.
So do yourself a favor and trust no one. Read ingredients. Ignore everything else. And, if you’re totally incensed by what you’ve just learned, do something. Contact your representatives, senators, the president, and vice president, and demand reform of these crooked, self-serving agencies. Go to www.congress.org to send a quick e-mail to these politicians. While you’re at it, write a letter to the editor of your favorite magazine or newspaper and ask others to join the crusade. Visit www.congress.org and click on the “media guide” to access their contact information.
Skinny Bastards. Chapter 9. Dumping.
Pinch a loaf. Lay a cable. Drop a deuce. Let’s face it; there is no greater pleasure than taking a big, steamy dump. But shitting isn’t just for kicks. It is a vital tool for weight loss and optimal health. Basic math. How much are you putting in your mouth, and how much is coming out your ass? Now that you’ve learned the right foods to eat and which ones to avoid, you should be a dynamo in the bathroom. But if your hiney is expelling only little rabbit turds, something’s gotta give.
Earlier, we mentioned that drinking lots of water helps rid your body of waste. We can’t emphasize the importance of this enough.
Drink, drink, drink. But if you want to take tyrannosaurus-sized dumps, it’s also imperative to eat foods rich in fiber, like whole-grain cereals and breads, brown rice, corn, barley, rye, buckwheat, millet, oats, fruits, vegetables (especially root vegetables, like carrots), beans, and seeds. Avoid foods that have little or no fiber, like meat, eggs, cheese, milk, and processed, refined foods. These can clog up your ass.
Fiber isn’t just for shits and giggles, either. It offers protection from appendicitis, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, gallstones, irritable bowel syndrome, and colitis.
Fibrous foods also help normalize our blood-sugar levels, sate food cravings, and make us feel fuller so that we don’t overeat. Fiber even fights colon, colorectal, and prostate cancer: If we don’t make ca-ca quickly enough, our putrefying food stays in our bodies, increasing the likelihood of the production of carcinogenic substances. So eat your fiber, and crap like a champ. Another way to get your bowels brewing is to pay special attention to the order in which you are eating foods. For example, foods that digest quickly and easily should be eaten by themselves and early in the day. Fruit for breakfast. Salad and/or vegetables for lunch. These foods will pass through your body at lightning speeds. Dinner should be your “heaviest” meal. Follow these simple rules, and you’ll be depositing six-inchers in no time. If you’re already a quality dumper, feel free to disregard.
But, if you still need an extra kick in the ass, up your bean intake.
Beware: You might have a mudslide in your pants if you’re not careful. If you’re not accustomed to beans, ease in slowly so your body can get used to digesting them. Expect some noise, for sure. And hey, maybe even stay close to a toilet to play it safe.
If your log-laying still needs work, do not take laxatives. Yes, they make you poop, but they don’t solve the underlying problem of why you’re not pooping in the first place. Most laxatives are gastrointestinal irritants—even the natural ones. Stop looking for a quick fix.
Just continue to drink a lot of water, exercise, and eat right, shitheads.
Earlier, we mentioned that drinking lots of water helps rid your body of waste. We can’t emphasize the importance of this enough.
Drink, drink, drink. But if you want to take tyrannosaurus-sized dumps, it’s also imperative to eat foods rich in fiber, like whole-grain cereals and breads, brown rice, corn, barley, rye, buckwheat, millet, oats, fruits, vegetables (especially root vegetables, like carrots), beans, and seeds. Avoid foods that have little or no fiber, like meat, eggs, cheese, milk, and processed, refined foods. These can clog up your ass.
Fiber isn’t just for shits and giggles, either. It offers protection from appendicitis, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, gallstones, irritable bowel syndrome, and colitis.
Fibrous foods also help normalize our blood-sugar levels, sate food cravings, and make us feel fuller so that we don’t overeat. Fiber even fights colon, colorectal, and prostate cancer: If we don’t make ca-ca quickly enough, our putrefying food stays in our bodies, increasing the likelihood of the production of carcinogenic substances. So eat your fiber, and crap like a champ. Another way to get your bowels brewing is to pay special attention to the order in which you are eating foods. For example, foods that digest quickly and easily should be eaten by themselves and early in the day. Fruit for breakfast. Salad and/or vegetables for lunch. These foods will pass through your body at lightning speeds. Dinner should be your “heaviest” meal. Follow these simple rules, and you’ll be depositing six-inchers in no time. If you’re already a quality dumper, feel free to disregard.
But, if you still need an extra kick in the ass, up your bean intake.
Beware: You might have a mudslide in your pants if you’re not careful. If you’re not accustomed to beans, ease in slowly so your body can get used to digesting them. Expect some noise, for sure. And hey, maybe even stay close to a toilet to play it safe.
If your log-laying still needs work, do not take laxatives. Yes, they make you poop, but they don’t solve the underlying problem of why you’re not pooping in the first place. Most laxatives are gastrointestinal irritants—even the natural ones. Stop looking for a quick fix.
Just continue to drink a lot of water, exercise, and eat right, shitheads.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Skinny Bastard. Chapter 8. No Girls Allowed.
Hypertension and Heart Disease.Man’s Worst Enemy.
We pity you men, we do. We know that we women are impossible to please; we can nag like nobody’s business; and no matter how much times change or how much the gender equality gap closes, men still feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. You’re “selfish,” “you don’t make enough money,” “you work too much,” “you don’t spend enough time with the kids,” “you aren’t romantic enough,” “you care more about golf than me,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It’s challenging not to let life (and your wife) get to you. But you really need to figure out how to be more Zen—stress is a definite factor in causing high blood pressure. There are other contributors, too, like alcohol, poor nutrition, poor fitness, and Type A personality traits. Just so we’re all on the same page, here’s how it works: “Doctors measure blood pressure using two numbers, such as 120/80. The first number shows the surge of pressure in the arteries with every beat, and the second number shows the pressure between beats.” If either one of those numbers is too high, it’s bad news bears. High blood pressure is known as “the silent killer” because approximately 40 percent of Americans who have it go undiagnosed. Some early warning signs may include fainting, dizziness, blurry vision, ringing in the ears, nosebleeds, flushing of the face, headaches (especially in the morning), and tension when there is no cause. If you do suffer from high blood pressure, the good news is that 85 percent of all cases can be reversed, just through changes in diet and lifestyle. (For starters, lay off the salt and high-sodium foods. FYI: canned food is notorious for being high in sodium.) If you don’t get a handle on it, high blood pressure will lead to heart disease.
Heart disease is the deadliest killer in the United States, nabbing one out of three Americans. And while it’s killing both sexes, annually, thousands more men die of heart disease than women, and at a younger age. One of the reasons heart disease is so pervasive is that two-thirds of Americans are overweight. Smoking and drinking are also contributors, of course. Yes, heart disease can also be hereditary, but only about 5 percent of the population has a true genetic disposition. So quit blaming bad genes.
Instead, blame your high cholesterol, which is of your own doing.
Cholesterol, a waxy substance, is an essential component of the membrane that coats all our cells. It’s also the basic ingredient of our sex hormones. So you get why we need it, and thankfully, our bodies produce it. What we don’t need is to consume foods that have cholesterol in them, because they tend to raise our bad cholesterol.
And it just so happens that the foods that have cholesterol in them are animal-based foods (meat, chicken, fish, eggs, dairy). So if you thought “lean cuts” were low in cholesterol, think again—the cholesterol is mainly in the lean portion. And if you thought chicken was “health food,” think again—chicken has as much cholesterol as beef. Whether it’s beef or chicken, four ounces means 100 milligrams of cholesterol! When you have “high cholesterol,” the waxy substance can build up on the walls of the arteries. Eventually, the arteries get clogged. Think about your body for a moment. Think about how your arteries are blood vessels, responsible for supplying oxygen and nutrients to your entire body. Now imagine your arteries being clogged up so that your healthy, nutrient-rich, oxygenated blood cannot freely flow throughout your body. Imagine all the toxic gunk and junk that gets formed and that starts circulating through your body. Are you able to see how little by little, slowly but surely, you’re doing an incredible amount of damage to yourself? When the sludge builds up to the point that it blocks a blood vessel to the heart, it’s a heart attack, and when it blocks a blood vessel to the brain, it’s a stroke. You’re sabotaging your whole body, your overall health and vitality, and your life. P. S. High cholesterol also means a higher likelihood of impotence, so you’re also jeopardizing your Johnson!
Don’t Mess with Diabetes.
Not only are obesity and heart disease on the rise, but so is diabetes, affecting 1 out of 13 Americans (with that ratio continuing to increase). According to Dr. Campbell, “Both diabetes and obesity are merely symptoms of poor health in general. They rarely exist in isolation of other diseases and often forecast deeper, more serious health problems, such as heart disease, cancer, and stroke. Two of the most frightening statistics show that diabetes among people in their thirties has increased 70 percent in less than ten years and the percentage of obese people has nearly doubled in the past thirty years.” Both are diet related. You do not want to mess with diabetes. It can cause stroke, heart disease, kidney disease, gum disease (which can lead to tooth loss), damage to the nervous system, blindness, and amputation. Maybe that burger or chicken sandwich tastes good, but good enough to give up your sight or your leg? If you already have diabetes, don’t despair. One of the most prominent scientists in the field of diet and diabetes is Dr. James Anderson. One of his studies included fifty people with diabetes—twenty-five who were Type 1 and twenty-five who were Type 2. (Type 1s cannot produce adequate insulin to manage the transport and distribution of glucose, Type 2s can produce insulin, but their insulin doesn’t work properly.) All of the people in the study were using insulin and none were overweight.
After three weeks of Dr. Anderson’s experimental “veggie” diet (mostly whole plant foods and the equivalent of only a cold cut or two a day), the results were staggering. Not only did their cholesterol levels drop 30 percent, the Type 1s were also able to reduce their insulin intake by an average of 40 percent! The Type 2s had even better results: twenty-four out of the twenty-five were able to stop taking insulin in a matter of weeks! All because they changed their diets!
Smoking, drinking, being sedentary, and eating a shitty diet of meat, dairy, and processed foods will eventually catch up to you. It’s not like breaking your arm, where you feel the effects right away. It’s cumulative, and you may not know how much damage you’re doing until you get some scary news from your doctor. So don’t wait to get diagnosed with a deadly disease.
Size Matters.
The prostate, a small organ about the size of a walnut, is responsible for producing some of your seminal fluid. And in this instance, bigger is not better—an enlarged prostate could mean trouble. The last thing you want to hear is that you have prostate cancer, especially when you could’ve easily prevented it—diet plays a key role in the disease. A 2001 Harvard review of multiple studies clearly states that dairy “is one of the most consistent dietary predictors for prostate cancer.” Men who consume high amounts of dairy increase their risk for prostate cancer by a whopping 70 percent! Most dairy products are high in fat, which affects the sex hormones that can cause cancer. But the fat-free bullshit is no better. According to an article in Alternative Medicine Reviews, worldwide, prostate cancer is more closely linked to nonfat dairy products than any other food. A different review of twenty-three studies revealed, “animal protein, meats, dairy products and eggs have frequently been associated with a higher risk of prostate cancer . . .” Here’s one way it happens: We all have this hormone in our bodies, Insulin-like Growth Factor 1 (IGF-1). Under normal conditions, IGF-1 keeps our cells reproducing at a healthy rate and helps rid our bodies of old cells. It’s this healthy growing of new cells and discarding of old cells that keep us cancer-free. But when we eat meat and dairy, our IGF-1 level increases, disturbing the balance of new cell growth and old cell removal, leading to . . . ca-ca-ca-cancer. Not only is IGF-1 naturally present in our bodies, but it’s also present in dairy products. No wonder men who consume dairy regularly have increased levels of IGF-1 in their bodies. A recent study comparing men’s IGF-1 levels showed those who tested highest to be at four times the risk for prostate cancer than those who tested lowest. There are other studies linking the high amount of calcium in dairy with having a negative impact on the body’s vitamin D situation (which is thought to provide protection against prostate cancer).
Another possible cause of prostate cancer is the high amount of environmental toxins (pesticides, industrial pollutants, etc.) present in dairy and meat. Or, it could be the cooking of these foods. All foods that are broiled or fried contain mutagens, chemicals that can do cellular damage. But animal foods have far more mutagens than similarly cooked plant foods.
Dr. William Castelli, director of the Framingham Health Study (the longest-running study of diet and heart disease in the world), said, “Vegetarians have the best diet; they have the lowest rates of coronary heart disease of any group in the country.” Of his groundbreaking work/book, The China Study, the most comprehensive study of diet and disease in medical history, Dr. Colin Campbell said, “People who ate the most animal-based foods got the most chronic disease. Even relatively small intakes of animal-based foods were associated with adverse effects. People who ate the most plant-based foods were the healthiest and tended to avoid chronic disease.” So there you have it. Abstaining from animal foods will do you a world of good—for prevention of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer. But you’ve got to eat plant foods, too— for prevention of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes can dramatically reduce risk of heart disease; protect against cancer, stop cancer, and reverse cancer; and neutralize the free radicals.
Plant foods are like friggin’ magic. Seriously. Men with low levels of beta-carotene have a 45 percent increased risk for prostate cancer.
So eating apricots, carrots, sweet potatoes, and yams can reduce risk. Men who eat lycopene-rich foods (tomatoes are the best source) have a 45 percent reduced risk for getting prostate cancer!
(Don’t try to cheat the system by taking some lycopene supplement.
Studies aren’t conclusive if supplements are as beneficial as getting lycopene from food sources. In our opinion, you can’t trick Mother Nature.) Eating cruciferous veggies like broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and kale reduces risk by 41 percent! No wonder vegetarian men have low rates of prostate cancer! The lucky fellas who were raised vegetarian have the lowest risk of all.
Strap on a Pair.
Yes, women want men to be sensitive and in touch with their feminine sides. But we still want you to be friggin’ men, so you better be sure you’re producing the right amount of testosterone. Not only is testosterone responsible for your muscles, manly voice, and facial and body hair, but it’s also key for your sex drive, sperm production, and sexual function. Some possible symptoms of low testosterone levels can include fatigue, depression, irritability (hey, bitch), reduced strength, reduced muscle mass, low sex drive, and erectile dysfunction. If you lost your woody during sex last week, don’t go jumping off a bridge. Shit happens, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have low testosterone. But if you think your testes may be in troubs, there a few easy, safe, natural ways to get your nads back on track. For starters, lose some weight, bub. Researchers found that going from non-obese to obese can cause a testosterone-reduction equal to ten years of aging.
Oy vey. Significant extra poundage not only causes a decrease in testosterone, but it can also cause an increase in estrogen. (Hey, man-boobs.) But don’t freak out and try to lose fifty pounds overnight.
If you start exercising too much and eating too little, your body will think it’s starving and will stop producing testosterone. Talk about counterproductive. Definitely exercise, though. Cardio, which is good for weight loss and your heart, can also help reduce stress. And stress can cause cortisol (stress hormone) levels to surge, hampering your testosterone production. So move it, mister! And while you’re at it, hit the racks. Regular weight lifting will not only give you manly muscles, but it’s also been shown to dramatically increase testosterone levels. Some studies have suggested that doing multi-joint exercises that work large muscle groups (squats, dead-lifts, bench presses, etc.) are better testosterone boosters than single-joint, small muscle exercises. Regardless of what you do, don’t overdo it! Research has shown that overtraining can reduce testosterone. (Kinda makes you wonder about all those freaky muscle-heads . . . little pee-pees?) Be sure to eat a well-balanced diet, too. A Penn State study revealed that a high-protein/low-carb diet can have a negative impact on testosterone levels. (Surprise, surprise.) So, of course, load up on fruits, veggies, whole grains, and legumes, and make sure you’re also getting enough healthy fats from nuts, seeds, and avocados. According to research, men who eat healthy, monounsaturated fats have hearty levels of testosterone. And do your best to eat organic. Pesticides have been linked to a decline in testosterone. One interesting study found that a group of organic farmers had sperm counts twice as high as men in a control group of blue-collar workers, suggesting organic foods may be good for your boys.
Locker Room Talk.
So clearly, you want to make sure you do what you need to do to keep your hormones in check. That way, you’ll keep your man-glue in check. Men who booze excessively or do drugs (yes, pot is a drug) can have compromised sperm count and quality. Men who let their junk get too heated too often are also at risk. Hot baths and spa-use shouldn’t be excessive, and you really shouldn’t work with your laptop on your lap. All can affect your jis, as can wearing underwear that’s too tight. So swap out your little girl bikini panties for some boxers or others loose-fitting numbers. FYI: Not only does smoking affect your sperm, but it also affects your virility. Almost two-thirds of impotent men smoke. And get this: Studies have shown that the number of ciggies smoked is directly proportional to the blood flow decrease in the cockadoodledo. Crazy! (But not really—it makes perfect sense.) So quit smoking, stupid! It’s messing with your stick! If you do discover that you have spastic sperm even after quitting smoking, eating well, exercising, and avoiding having your balls scorched, try acupuncture.
It’s been shown to have a positive impact on sperm count, shape, and movement.
Tangy Taste Test?
By the way, since we’re already talking about all your private business, it just has to be said: You are what you eat. Meaning, your diet and lifestyle affect the smell and taste of your man juice. Think about it. Unhealthy people who smoke and eat crap and drink coffee tend to have smelly body odor, shitty breath, and foul-stinking piss. Why would their other secretions be any different? (BTW: Vegans typically have better breath than meat-eaters. The digestion of animal protein creates a bacterial environment, which is not so fresh-smelling.) Only about one percent of what you unload is sperm, which you wouldn’t really expect to have a certain smell. But as for the other 99 percent, what do you think would make it smell good? Beer? Coffee?
Processed, chemical, fake foods? The rotting, decomposing, putrefying carcass of a slaughtered animal? Nasty-ass curdled milk or cheese? Grooooooooooss! If you don’t believe that diet affects your spooge, play our thirty-day goo game. Today, having eaten the way you normally do, do the deed, and then smell your stuff. Funky gunk, right? For the next thirty days, eat a pure, healthy diet like we prescribe in this book. At the end of the month, whack and sniff. Your love nectar’s scent will be so much better, you’ll likely be tempted to taste it!
Move It!.
Exercise can dramatically reduce risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, prostate cancer, obesity, stroke, diabetes, memory loss, colon cancer, fractures, depression, and erectile dysfunction.
And you don’t have to become an Ironman to reap the benefits. One study of more than 15,000 men found that “the risk of death is cut in half with an exercise capacity that can easily be achieved by a brisk walk of about 30 minutes per session five to six days per week.” Of course you should consult your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen, but especially if you’re about to turn into one of those crazy, bodybuilding freaks. The human body, when treated well, can function like a perfect machine. So first and foremost, be honest with yourself about what kind of machine you are. Some men are designed to be diesel mo’fos; others, to run like the wind; and others, to just be fit and healthy. While we clearly live in a society that is obsessed with looks, do your best to aim for fitness goals, and not appearance goals. That way, you will be working smart, doing good for your body, and enjoying the process. And of course, it is likely your body will look better, too. But all of us (even men) have skewed perceptions of how we look. So don’t allow your desire to look a certain way drive your efforts. Aim to get strong and healthy and fit from the inside out. Yes, our culture idolizes athletes, but these sports gods really aren’t all that enviable. Their bodies take tremendous abuse, and they suffer lifetimes of chronic pain and problems as a result. Training at such high levels is a huge stressor and can often be very physically damaging.
So now that you’re ready to exercise at a healthy level, here’s what you need to know: Drink a shitload of water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone knows that water is clutch, but do you really do a good job of staying hydrated? It’s bad when you don’t drink enough water in real life, but it’s even worse when you don’t drink enough during exercise. Not only is it vital for proper organ function, but it’s also imperative for cardiovascular health, body temperature maintenance, muscle function, and for staving off muscle cramps, fatigue, dizziness, heat stroke, and heat exhaustion. Start hydrating two to three hours before exercise, with about 15–20 ounces of water; then, fifteen minutes before exercise, have about 8 ounces more. (But don’t chug it all at once— you’ll get bloated.) And of course, make sure to continue drinking while you’re exercising. You don’t have to take big swigs in the middle of your workout and give yourself a stomach cramp, but you want to be consciously hydrating. Approximately 8 ounces every fifteen minutes during exercise should do the trick. But because each person’s weight, exercise level, and sweat output are different, there’s no perfect water prescription that applies to everyone. However, there are two good ways to gauge your own water needs. First off, take a look at your piss. If there’s a lot of it, it’s light in color, and it’s diluted-looking, good job. If it’s a scant amount, dark in color, and it looks concentrated, you’re not drinking enough. Second, weigh yourself just before and after exercising. Immediate weight loss is likely water weight, so you need to be drinking more. For every pound lost, try to replenish with 20–24 ounces of water.
But be careful not to drown yourself in an effort to stay hydrated.
There’s a condition called hyponatremia, also known as water intoxication. When the body loses too much sodium, drinking plain water can even further dilute sodium levels. It’s in these cases of extreme, high intensity exercise and perspiration that sports drinks may come in handy. But just so you know, a lot of them are crap. If you eat a well-balanced diet; stay hydrated before, during and after workouts; and don’t exercise for more than sixty minutes at a high intensity, you should be fine without a sports drink. However, if you’re working out like a fiend and you do need to replenish electrolytes, choose a sports drink that doesn’t have artificial flavors, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, or caffeine. None of those serve your health.
Eating for Action.
At this point in the book, you should know that a vegan diet is the healthiest way to go. And that if you’re just a regular guy who wants to eat well, be healthy, go the gym, and look good, you just need to eat a well-balanced vegan diet and all your butch dreams can come true.
You should also know that veganism allows you to be an ass-kicking warrior, whatever your sport of choice. Veganism does not translate to men in Birkenstocks wearing patchouli, weighing ten pounds, and talking about their feelings. (Of course we do have a few of those, much to the chagrin of all the vegan women.) Go back and read the list of all the veggie jocks we mentioned earlier—athletes at the top of their games who are tough-ass sons of bitches. Those guys are beasts, and you can be, too. There are a few good books on the subject of veggie athleticism and training, so go get one for a more detailed overview.
But here’s a tiny, little peek into the lives of veggie athletes: For starters, they frickin’ love carbs. Years of solid research have shown the benefits of plant-based, high-carb diets for athletic performance.
Studies consistently show that at about the same time that glycogen stores get low, fatigue sets in. Because high-carb diets maximize liver and glycogen stores, endurance and energy levels are optimized, which means decreased risk of muscleand whole-body fatigue; increased stamina; and increased energy reserves for that final sprint, tackle, pin, hit, basket, or goal. Complex carbs also help prevent dehydration, since they absorb water. Just a reminder, complex carbs are fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Admittedly, sometimes the “bulkiness” of complex carbs right before a race can cause gas, bloating, and pooping at inopportune times. So if you’re a marathoner or other serious competitor, you’ll have to experiment with your diet and timing. But know that according to the American Dietetic Association, the Canadian Dietetic Association, and Dieticians of Canada, for physical fitness and athletic performance, approximately 60–70 percent of your calories should come from carbs.
But that doesn’t mean you should forsake fat. Fat is important for everyday civilians and athletes. Yes, fat can make you fat if you just eat tons of fat and sit around being fat. But fat is a major energy resource (especially for distance events); the source of essential fatty acids (EFAs); and a carrier of vitamins, minerals, and phytochemcials.
While there’s no substitute for carbs, the body can store far more energy as fat than as glycogen—both within muscle cells and around the body’s cells. The flab stored within your muscles is readily available for aerobic activity. We constantly need to replenish our carb stores, but our fat stores are always there for the using. And the best sources for healthy, unsaturated fats are avocados, olives, raw nuts, raw seeds, raw nut butters, flax seed oil, hemp seed oil, and extra-virgin olive oil—all organic, of course. (If you have heart disease or it runs in your family, you may need to skip the oils altogether; check with your cardiologist. Actually, since he or she literally may not know shit about diet, read Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn’s book Preventing and Reversing Heart Disease first, then talk to your doctor. Dr. Esselstyn’s work is revolutionary, mind-blowing, and life altering.) Before we talk about protein, we want to remind you, again, that it’s not the end-all, be-all—so keep it in your pants. Yes, people who are active may need more protein than couch potatoes. Yes, protein is an integral energy source and it’s imperative for muscle tissue growth, maintenance, and repair. Yes, it can be damaging to your muscles if you don’t get adequate protein. That said, the general recommendation for protein intake for vegan athletes is about 12–15 percent. Of course, that percentage can go up or down, considering caloric intake, energy output, and fitness activities and goals. Now just so we’re clear, when we say the recommended amount for “athletes,” we mean those who are training intensely for eight to forty hours a week, especially if you’re starting a new regimen or if it’s the beginning of the season. These recommended amounts are not for fitness enthusiasts or guys who are just recreationally active. Again, this is a general book about health and diet, so if you want to get all cuckoo for calories, fat, and protein and start training for an Ironman, there are much better books to help guide you on that journey. But know that it is possible to get too much protein (even if you’re a vegan) if you start supplementing with all those protein powders. Remember, high intensity activities can take a lot out of you, whether you’re a meat-eater or vegan. So if you need astronomical amounts of protein just to survive those feats, perhaps you should reconsider. Plus, drinking some grittyass shake is hardly as fun as pigging out. Some high protein foods include nuts, beans, quinoa (a grain), seitan (a “meat” made from wheat), tofu, veggie burgers, and tempeh (fermented soy).
It’s a funny thing, this eating for fitness. All the plant foods we keep mentioning not only have the good fat, protein, and carbs you need, but they’re also good sources for vitamins and minerals. As an athlete, you may need to supplement (talk to your doctor), but don’t get all performance-focused on us. These aren’t for performance-enhancing purposes, they’re for your health and protection. Studies have suggested that athletes may require increased vitamin C, which is especially important for connective tissue. The B vitamins help metabolize energy, process amino acids, and synthesize new cells. For a vegan, B-12 is always an important one to stay on top of. And as a general precaution, it’s good to investigate your vitamin D situation and make sure you’re up to snuff.
Vegan or not, low iron is the most common deficiency issue for athletes, so be sure you’re getting enough. (Eating iron-rich foods with vitamin C-rich foods helps with absorption.) Because too much iron can be damaging, have your levels checked before deciding whether to pop a pill. Calcium levels can be compromised in some athletes due to poor dietary intake and intense training—calcium gets used during muscle contractions. Vegan athletes usually do okay because they consume calcium-rich foods and fortified soyand rice milks; however, you may need to up your intake depending on your workout. You certainly don’t want to be sidelined by fractures, muscle problems, or nerve issues.
Zinc is important for tissue repair, but can be depleted through urine and sweat. But vegans who eat legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains on a daily basis should be fine.
So whether you want to get a little buff, crazy jacked-up, or just plain healthy, eating a well-balanced vegan diet of whole plant foods makes it all possible. You’ll see and feel the difference when you try it for yourself.
After that, if you still don’t get it, we give up. Just go be a dumb jock somewhere.
We pity you men, we do. We know that we women are impossible to please; we can nag like nobody’s business; and no matter how much times change or how much the gender equality gap closes, men still feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. You’re “selfish,” “you don’t make enough money,” “you work too much,” “you don’t spend enough time with the kids,” “you aren’t romantic enough,” “you care more about golf than me,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It’s challenging not to let life (and your wife) get to you. But you really need to figure out how to be more Zen—stress is a definite factor in causing high blood pressure. There are other contributors, too, like alcohol, poor nutrition, poor fitness, and Type A personality traits. Just so we’re all on the same page, here’s how it works: “Doctors measure blood pressure using two numbers, such as 120/80. The first number shows the surge of pressure in the arteries with every beat, and the second number shows the pressure between beats.” If either one of those numbers is too high, it’s bad news bears. High blood pressure is known as “the silent killer” because approximately 40 percent of Americans who have it go undiagnosed. Some early warning signs may include fainting, dizziness, blurry vision, ringing in the ears, nosebleeds, flushing of the face, headaches (especially in the morning), and tension when there is no cause. If you do suffer from high blood pressure, the good news is that 85 percent of all cases can be reversed, just through changes in diet and lifestyle. (For starters, lay off the salt and high-sodium foods. FYI: canned food is notorious for being high in sodium.) If you don’t get a handle on it, high blood pressure will lead to heart disease.
Heart disease is the deadliest killer in the United States, nabbing one out of three Americans. And while it’s killing both sexes, annually, thousands more men die of heart disease than women, and at a younger age. One of the reasons heart disease is so pervasive is that two-thirds of Americans are overweight. Smoking and drinking are also contributors, of course. Yes, heart disease can also be hereditary, but only about 5 percent of the population has a true genetic disposition. So quit blaming bad genes.
Instead, blame your high cholesterol, which is of your own doing.
Cholesterol, a waxy substance, is an essential component of the membrane that coats all our cells. It’s also the basic ingredient of our sex hormones. So you get why we need it, and thankfully, our bodies produce it. What we don’t need is to consume foods that have cholesterol in them, because they tend to raise our bad cholesterol.
And it just so happens that the foods that have cholesterol in them are animal-based foods (meat, chicken, fish, eggs, dairy). So if you thought “lean cuts” were low in cholesterol, think again—the cholesterol is mainly in the lean portion. And if you thought chicken was “health food,” think again—chicken has as much cholesterol as beef. Whether it’s beef or chicken, four ounces means 100 milligrams of cholesterol! When you have “high cholesterol,” the waxy substance can build up on the walls of the arteries. Eventually, the arteries get clogged. Think about your body for a moment. Think about how your arteries are blood vessels, responsible for supplying oxygen and nutrients to your entire body. Now imagine your arteries being clogged up so that your healthy, nutrient-rich, oxygenated blood cannot freely flow throughout your body. Imagine all the toxic gunk and junk that gets formed and that starts circulating through your body. Are you able to see how little by little, slowly but surely, you’re doing an incredible amount of damage to yourself? When the sludge builds up to the point that it blocks a blood vessel to the heart, it’s a heart attack, and when it blocks a blood vessel to the brain, it’s a stroke. You’re sabotaging your whole body, your overall health and vitality, and your life. P. S. High cholesterol also means a higher likelihood of impotence, so you’re also jeopardizing your Johnson!
Don’t Mess with Diabetes.
Not only are obesity and heart disease on the rise, but so is diabetes, affecting 1 out of 13 Americans (with that ratio continuing to increase). According to Dr. Campbell, “Both diabetes and obesity are merely symptoms of poor health in general. They rarely exist in isolation of other diseases and often forecast deeper, more serious health problems, such as heart disease, cancer, and stroke. Two of the most frightening statistics show that diabetes among people in their thirties has increased 70 percent in less than ten years and the percentage of obese people has nearly doubled in the past thirty years.” Both are diet related. You do not want to mess with diabetes. It can cause stroke, heart disease, kidney disease, gum disease (which can lead to tooth loss), damage to the nervous system, blindness, and amputation. Maybe that burger or chicken sandwich tastes good, but good enough to give up your sight or your leg? If you already have diabetes, don’t despair. One of the most prominent scientists in the field of diet and diabetes is Dr. James Anderson. One of his studies included fifty people with diabetes—twenty-five who were Type 1 and twenty-five who were Type 2. (Type 1s cannot produce adequate insulin to manage the transport and distribution of glucose, Type 2s can produce insulin, but their insulin doesn’t work properly.) All of the people in the study were using insulin and none were overweight.
After three weeks of Dr. Anderson’s experimental “veggie” diet (mostly whole plant foods and the equivalent of only a cold cut or two a day), the results were staggering. Not only did their cholesterol levels drop 30 percent, the Type 1s were also able to reduce their insulin intake by an average of 40 percent! The Type 2s had even better results: twenty-four out of the twenty-five were able to stop taking insulin in a matter of weeks! All because they changed their diets!
Smoking, drinking, being sedentary, and eating a shitty diet of meat, dairy, and processed foods will eventually catch up to you. It’s not like breaking your arm, where you feel the effects right away. It’s cumulative, and you may not know how much damage you’re doing until you get some scary news from your doctor. So don’t wait to get diagnosed with a deadly disease.
Size Matters.
The prostate, a small organ about the size of a walnut, is responsible for producing some of your seminal fluid. And in this instance, bigger is not better—an enlarged prostate could mean trouble. The last thing you want to hear is that you have prostate cancer, especially when you could’ve easily prevented it—diet plays a key role in the disease. A 2001 Harvard review of multiple studies clearly states that dairy “is one of the most consistent dietary predictors for prostate cancer.” Men who consume high amounts of dairy increase their risk for prostate cancer by a whopping 70 percent! Most dairy products are high in fat, which affects the sex hormones that can cause cancer. But the fat-free bullshit is no better. According to an article in Alternative Medicine Reviews, worldwide, prostate cancer is more closely linked to nonfat dairy products than any other food. A different review of twenty-three studies revealed, “animal protein, meats, dairy products and eggs have frequently been associated with a higher risk of prostate cancer . . .” Here’s one way it happens: We all have this hormone in our bodies, Insulin-like Growth Factor 1 (IGF-1). Under normal conditions, IGF-1 keeps our cells reproducing at a healthy rate and helps rid our bodies of old cells. It’s this healthy growing of new cells and discarding of old cells that keep us cancer-free. But when we eat meat and dairy, our IGF-1 level increases, disturbing the balance of new cell growth and old cell removal, leading to . . . ca-ca-ca-cancer. Not only is IGF-1 naturally present in our bodies, but it’s also present in dairy products. No wonder men who consume dairy regularly have increased levels of IGF-1 in their bodies. A recent study comparing men’s IGF-1 levels showed those who tested highest to be at four times the risk for prostate cancer than those who tested lowest. There are other studies linking the high amount of calcium in dairy with having a negative impact on the body’s vitamin D situation (which is thought to provide protection against prostate cancer).
Another possible cause of prostate cancer is the high amount of environmental toxins (pesticides, industrial pollutants, etc.) present in dairy and meat. Or, it could be the cooking of these foods. All foods that are broiled or fried contain mutagens, chemicals that can do cellular damage. But animal foods have far more mutagens than similarly cooked plant foods.
Dr. William Castelli, director of the Framingham Health Study (the longest-running study of diet and heart disease in the world), said, “Vegetarians have the best diet; they have the lowest rates of coronary heart disease of any group in the country.” Of his groundbreaking work/book, The China Study, the most comprehensive study of diet and disease in medical history, Dr. Colin Campbell said, “People who ate the most animal-based foods got the most chronic disease. Even relatively small intakes of animal-based foods were associated with adverse effects. People who ate the most plant-based foods were the healthiest and tended to avoid chronic disease.” So there you have it. Abstaining from animal foods will do you a world of good—for prevention of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer. But you’ve got to eat plant foods, too— for prevention of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and cancer. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes can dramatically reduce risk of heart disease; protect against cancer, stop cancer, and reverse cancer; and neutralize the free radicals.
Plant foods are like friggin’ magic. Seriously. Men with low levels of beta-carotene have a 45 percent increased risk for prostate cancer.
So eating apricots, carrots, sweet potatoes, and yams can reduce risk. Men who eat lycopene-rich foods (tomatoes are the best source) have a 45 percent reduced risk for getting prostate cancer!
(Don’t try to cheat the system by taking some lycopene supplement.
Studies aren’t conclusive if supplements are as beneficial as getting lycopene from food sources. In our opinion, you can’t trick Mother Nature.) Eating cruciferous veggies like broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and kale reduces risk by 41 percent! No wonder vegetarian men have low rates of prostate cancer! The lucky fellas who were raised vegetarian have the lowest risk of all.
Strap on a Pair.
Yes, women want men to be sensitive and in touch with their feminine sides. But we still want you to be friggin’ men, so you better be sure you’re producing the right amount of testosterone. Not only is testosterone responsible for your muscles, manly voice, and facial and body hair, but it’s also key for your sex drive, sperm production, and sexual function. Some possible symptoms of low testosterone levels can include fatigue, depression, irritability (hey, bitch), reduced strength, reduced muscle mass, low sex drive, and erectile dysfunction. If you lost your woody during sex last week, don’t go jumping off a bridge. Shit happens, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have low testosterone. But if you think your testes may be in troubs, there a few easy, safe, natural ways to get your nads back on track. For starters, lose some weight, bub. Researchers found that going from non-obese to obese can cause a testosterone-reduction equal to ten years of aging.
Oy vey. Significant extra poundage not only causes a decrease in testosterone, but it can also cause an increase in estrogen. (Hey, man-boobs.) But don’t freak out and try to lose fifty pounds overnight.
If you start exercising too much and eating too little, your body will think it’s starving and will stop producing testosterone. Talk about counterproductive. Definitely exercise, though. Cardio, which is good for weight loss and your heart, can also help reduce stress. And stress can cause cortisol (stress hormone) levels to surge, hampering your testosterone production. So move it, mister! And while you’re at it, hit the racks. Regular weight lifting will not only give you manly muscles, but it’s also been shown to dramatically increase testosterone levels. Some studies have suggested that doing multi-joint exercises that work large muscle groups (squats, dead-lifts, bench presses, etc.) are better testosterone boosters than single-joint, small muscle exercises. Regardless of what you do, don’t overdo it! Research has shown that overtraining can reduce testosterone. (Kinda makes you wonder about all those freaky muscle-heads . . . little pee-pees?) Be sure to eat a well-balanced diet, too. A Penn State study revealed that a high-protein/low-carb diet can have a negative impact on testosterone levels. (Surprise, surprise.) So, of course, load up on fruits, veggies, whole grains, and legumes, and make sure you’re also getting enough healthy fats from nuts, seeds, and avocados. According to research, men who eat healthy, monounsaturated fats have hearty levels of testosterone. And do your best to eat organic. Pesticides have been linked to a decline in testosterone. One interesting study found that a group of organic farmers had sperm counts twice as high as men in a control group of blue-collar workers, suggesting organic foods may be good for your boys.
Locker Room Talk.
So clearly, you want to make sure you do what you need to do to keep your hormones in check. That way, you’ll keep your man-glue in check. Men who booze excessively or do drugs (yes, pot is a drug) can have compromised sperm count and quality. Men who let their junk get too heated too often are also at risk. Hot baths and spa-use shouldn’t be excessive, and you really shouldn’t work with your laptop on your lap. All can affect your jis, as can wearing underwear that’s too tight. So swap out your little girl bikini panties for some boxers or others loose-fitting numbers. FYI: Not only does smoking affect your sperm, but it also affects your virility. Almost two-thirds of impotent men smoke. And get this: Studies have shown that the number of ciggies smoked is directly proportional to the blood flow decrease in the cockadoodledo. Crazy! (But not really—it makes perfect sense.) So quit smoking, stupid! It’s messing with your stick! If you do discover that you have spastic sperm even after quitting smoking, eating well, exercising, and avoiding having your balls scorched, try acupuncture.
It’s been shown to have a positive impact on sperm count, shape, and movement.
Tangy Taste Test?
By the way, since we’re already talking about all your private business, it just has to be said: You are what you eat. Meaning, your diet and lifestyle affect the smell and taste of your man juice. Think about it. Unhealthy people who smoke and eat crap and drink coffee tend to have smelly body odor, shitty breath, and foul-stinking piss. Why would their other secretions be any different? (BTW: Vegans typically have better breath than meat-eaters. The digestion of animal protein creates a bacterial environment, which is not so fresh-smelling.) Only about one percent of what you unload is sperm, which you wouldn’t really expect to have a certain smell. But as for the other 99 percent, what do you think would make it smell good? Beer? Coffee?
Processed, chemical, fake foods? The rotting, decomposing, putrefying carcass of a slaughtered animal? Nasty-ass curdled milk or cheese? Grooooooooooss! If you don’t believe that diet affects your spooge, play our thirty-day goo game. Today, having eaten the way you normally do, do the deed, and then smell your stuff. Funky gunk, right? For the next thirty days, eat a pure, healthy diet like we prescribe in this book. At the end of the month, whack and sniff. Your love nectar’s scent will be so much better, you’ll likely be tempted to taste it!
Move It!.
Exercise can dramatically reduce risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, prostate cancer, obesity, stroke, diabetes, memory loss, colon cancer, fractures, depression, and erectile dysfunction.
And you don’t have to become an Ironman to reap the benefits. One study of more than 15,000 men found that “the risk of death is cut in half with an exercise capacity that can easily be achieved by a brisk walk of about 30 minutes per session five to six days per week.” Of course you should consult your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen, but especially if you’re about to turn into one of those crazy, bodybuilding freaks. The human body, when treated well, can function like a perfect machine. So first and foremost, be honest with yourself about what kind of machine you are. Some men are designed to be diesel mo’fos; others, to run like the wind; and others, to just be fit and healthy. While we clearly live in a society that is obsessed with looks, do your best to aim for fitness goals, and not appearance goals. That way, you will be working smart, doing good for your body, and enjoying the process. And of course, it is likely your body will look better, too. But all of us (even men) have skewed perceptions of how we look. So don’t allow your desire to look a certain way drive your efforts. Aim to get strong and healthy and fit from the inside out. Yes, our culture idolizes athletes, but these sports gods really aren’t all that enviable. Their bodies take tremendous abuse, and they suffer lifetimes of chronic pain and problems as a result. Training at such high levels is a huge stressor and can often be very physically damaging.
So now that you’re ready to exercise at a healthy level, here’s what you need to know: Drink a shitload of water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone knows that water is clutch, but do you really do a good job of staying hydrated? It’s bad when you don’t drink enough water in real life, but it’s even worse when you don’t drink enough during exercise. Not only is it vital for proper organ function, but it’s also imperative for cardiovascular health, body temperature maintenance, muscle function, and for staving off muscle cramps, fatigue, dizziness, heat stroke, and heat exhaustion. Start hydrating two to three hours before exercise, with about 15–20 ounces of water; then, fifteen minutes before exercise, have about 8 ounces more. (But don’t chug it all at once— you’ll get bloated.) And of course, make sure to continue drinking while you’re exercising. You don’t have to take big swigs in the middle of your workout and give yourself a stomach cramp, but you want to be consciously hydrating. Approximately 8 ounces every fifteen minutes during exercise should do the trick. But because each person’s weight, exercise level, and sweat output are different, there’s no perfect water prescription that applies to everyone. However, there are two good ways to gauge your own water needs. First off, take a look at your piss. If there’s a lot of it, it’s light in color, and it’s diluted-looking, good job. If it’s a scant amount, dark in color, and it looks concentrated, you’re not drinking enough. Second, weigh yourself just before and after exercising. Immediate weight loss is likely water weight, so you need to be drinking more. For every pound lost, try to replenish with 20–24 ounces of water.
But be careful not to drown yourself in an effort to stay hydrated.
There’s a condition called hyponatremia, also known as water intoxication. When the body loses too much sodium, drinking plain water can even further dilute sodium levels. It’s in these cases of extreme, high intensity exercise and perspiration that sports drinks may come in handy. But just so you know, a lot of them are crap. If you eat a well-balanced diet; stay hydrated before, during and after workouts; and don’t exercise for more than sixty minutes at a high intensity, you should be fine without a sports drink. However, if you’re working out like a fiend and you do need to replenish electrolytes, choose a sports drink that doesn’t have artificial flavors, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, or caffeine. None of those serve your health.
Eating for Action.
At this point in the book, you should know that a vegan diet is the healthiest way to go. And that if you’re just a regular guy who wants to eat well, be healthy, go the gym, and look good, you just need to eat a well-balanced vegan diet and all your butch dreams can come true.
You should also know that veganism allows you to be an ass-kicking warrior, whatever your sport of choice. Veganism does not translate to men in Birkenstocks wearing patchouli, weighing ten pounds, and talking about their feelings. (Of course we do have a few of those, much to the chagrin of all the vegan women.) Go back and read the list of all the veggie jocks we mentioned earlier—athletes at the top of their games who are tough-ass sons of bitches. Those guys are beasts, and you can be, too. There are a few good books on the subject of veggie athleticism and training, so go get one for a more detailed overview.
But here’s a tiny, little peek into the lives of veggie athletes: For starters, they frickin’ love carbs. Years of solid research have shown the benefits of plant-based, high-carb diets for athletic performance.
Studies consistently show that at about the same time that glycogen stores get low, fatigue sets in. Because high-carb diets maximize liver and glycogen stores, endurance and energy levels are optimized, which means decreased risk of muscleand whole-body fatigue; increased stamina; and increased energy reserves for that final sprint, tackle, pin, hit, basket, or goal. Complex carbs also help prevent dehydration, since they absorb water. Just a reminder, complex carbs are fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Admittedly, sometimes the “bulkiness” of complex carbs right before a race can cause gas, bloating, and pooping at inopportune times. So if you’re a marathoner or other serious competitor, you’ll have to experiment with your diet and timing. But know that according to the American Dietetic Association, the Canadian Dietetic Association, and Dieticians of Canada, for physical fitness and athletic performance, approximately 60–70 percent of your calories should come from carbs.
But that doesn’t mean you should forsake fat. Fat is important for everyday civilians and athletes. Yes, fat can make you fat if you just eat tons of fat and sit around being fat. But fat is a major energy resource (especially for distance events); the source of essential fatty acids (EFAs); and a carrier of vitamins, minerals, and phytochemcials.
While there’s no substitute for carbs, the body can store far more energy as fat than as glycogen—both within muscle cells and around the body’s cells. The flab stored within your muscles is readily available for aerobic activity. We constantly need to replenish our carb stores, but our fat stores are always there for the using. And the best sources for healthy, unsaturated fats are avocados, olives, raw nuts, raw seeds, raw nut butters, flax seed oil, hemp seed oil, and extra-virgin olive oil—all organic, of course. (If you have heart disease or it runs in your family, you may need to skip the oils altogether; check with your cardiologist. Actually, since he or she literally may not know shit about diet, read Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn’s book Preventing and Reversing Heart Disease first, then talk to your doctor. Dr. Esselstyn’s work is revolutionary, mind-blowing, and life altering.) Before we talk about protein, we want to remind you, again, that it’s not the end-all, be-all—so keep it in your pants. Yes, people who are active may need more protein than couch potatoes. Yes, protein is an integral energy source and it’s imperative for muscle tissue growth, maintenance, and repair. Yes, it can be damaging to your muscles if you don’t get adequate protein. That said, the general recommendation for protein intake for vegan athletes is about 12–15 percent. Of course, that percentage can go up or down, considering caloric intake, energy output, and fitness activities and goals. Now just so we’re clear, when we say the recommended amount for “athletes,” we mean those who are training intensely for eight to forty hours a week, especially if you’re starting a new regimen or if it’s the beginning of the season. These recommended amounts are not for fitness enthusiasts or guys who are just recreationally active. Again, this is a general book about health and diet, so if you want to get all cuckoo for calories, fat, and protein and start training for an Ironman, there are much better books to help guide you on that journey. But know that it is possible to get too much protein (even if you’re a vegan) if you start supplementing with all those protein powders. Remember, high intensity activities can take a lot out of you, whether you’re a meat-eater or vegan. So if you need astronomical amounts of protein just to survive those feats, perhaps you should reconsider. Plus, drinking some grittyass shake is hardly as fun as pigging out. Some high protein foods include nuts, beans, quinoa (a grain), seitan (a “meat” made from wheat), tofu, veggie burgers, and tempeh (fermented soy).
It’s a funny thing, this eating for fitness. All the plant foods we keep mentioning not only have the good fat, protein, and carbs you need, but they’re also good sources for vitamins and minerals. As an athlete, you may need to supplement (talk to your doctor), but don’t get all performance-focused on us. These aren’t for performance-enhancing purposes, they’re for your health and protection. Studies have suggested that athletes may require increased vitamin C, which is especially important for connective tissue. The B vitamins help metabolize energy, process amino acids, and synthesize new cells. For a vegan, B-12 is always an important one to stay on top of. And as a general precaution, it’s good to investigate your vitamin D situation and make sure you’re up to snuff.
Vegan or not, low iron is the most common deficiency issue for athletes, so be sure you’re getting enough. (Eating iron-rich foods with vitamin C-rich foods helps with absorption.) Because too much iron can be damaging, have your levels checked before deciding whether to pop a pill. Calcium levels can be compromised in some athletes due to poor dietary intake and intense training—calcium gets used during muscle contractions. Vegan athletes usually do okay because they consume calcium-rich foods and fortified soyand rice milks; however, you may need to up your intake depending on your workout. You certainly don’t want to be sidelined by fractures, muscle problems, or nerve issues.
Zinc is important for tissue repair, but can be depleted through urine and sweat. But vegans who eat legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains on a daily basis should be fine.
So whether you want to get a little buff, crazy jacked-up, or just plain healthy, eating a well-balanced vegan diet of whole plant foods makes it all possible. You’ll see and feel the difference when you try it for yourself.
After that, if you still don’t get it, we give up. Just go be a dumb jock somewhere.
Skinny Bastard. Chapter 7. The Myths and Lies About Protein.
With all the low-carb bullshit going on in this country, it’s never been more necessary to establish the facts about protein. First and foremost, everyone seems to think that protein exists just to help build muscle—like protein is the big muscle-head at the gym. Yes, protein does form muscle tissue, but it has many more functions than that. Protein assures proper growth, maintenance, and repair of all body tissues (not just muscles). It also contributes to healing the body; production of blood cells, energy, and hormones; the formation of antibodies and hemoglobin; and the building of enzymes. Those who don’t get enough protein can suffer from decreased immunity, loss of muscle mass, improper growth, and weakening of the heart and respiratory system.
So clearly, protein is an important part of any diet. But it shouldn’t be the cornerstone of any diet, and this is where the high-protein/lowcarb craze really misleads people. You know by now that complex carbs shouldn’t be forsaken. But should you overload on protein? Hell, no. If we had a penny for every time some meat head asked us, “So where do you get your protein?” we’d be richer than Trump. Have you ever, in your entire life, heard of anyone in a developed country suffering from a protein deficiency? Did you ever see an elephant, moose, or giraffe jonesing for a protein fix? If you weren’t blacked out on bourbon for the past four chapters, you should know by now: It is a complete urban myth that we need a massive amount of protein. Too much protein, especially animal protein, can impair our kidneys; leach calcium, zinc, B vitamins, iron, and magnesium from our bodies; and cause osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, and obesity. In addition, high amounts of protein can damage our tissues, organs, and cells, contributing to faster aging. Yikes! Know this: People in other cultures consume half the amount of protein that we do, yet they live longer, healthier lives.
Although too much is harmful, protein is still vital to our health.
Protein produces enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, and antibodies; replaces worn out cells; transports various substances throughout the body; and aids in growth and repair. Basically, if you eat a well-balanced vegan diet, you’ll get enough protein. But for all you annoying counters who want a stupid number to latch onto, here’s a simple equation to find out how much protein you need: Body weight (in pounds) x .36 equal recommended protein intake , (This number gives the average person a large margin of safety.) Researchers at Harvard found that vegetarians (who don’t live on junk food) get adequate amounts of protein in their diets. The American Dietetic Association reports that eating a vegetarian diet provides twice the amount of protein needed daily. In his book Optimal Health, Dr. Patrick Holford explains that “most people are in more danger of eating too much protein than too little.” So pick something else to be neurotic about (like your bald spot).
How do vegans get protein? Simply. We eat lentils, beans, peas, nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, and soy products (edamame, tofu, imitation cheeses and meats). When you eat well-balanced meals consisting of these foods, you are guaranteed to get sufficient protein. For example, for lunch, if you had a soy burger on a whole grain bun with avocado and tomato and a small side salad, you’d get 22 grams of protein. See how easy? If you want an extra boost, treat yourself to spirulina, high-protein algae that contains omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, B-12 (important for vegetarians), enzymes, and minerals. It also repairs free-radical damage (caused by chemicals that harm cells and contribute to premature aging, heart disease, and cancer), supports the immune system, fights cancer, and helps with hypoglycemia, anemia, ulcers, diabetes, and chronic fatigue syndrome.
Spirulina also contains all nine essential amino acids.
Amino acids, huh? Yep. There are twenty amino acids. Our bodies produce eleven, and the other nine essential amino acids can be obtained through food. Amino acids are the building blocks of protein. And yes, protein does build muscle. But even if you work out and want to build muscle, you don’t need to overdose on animal protein (a ridiculous myth perpetuated by dumbbells). Bear in mind, some tough-ass motherfuckers are vegans or vegetarians: Tim Van Orden, a champion road-, mountain-, snowshoe-, and stair-climb racer; John Salley, a four-time NBA champion; Brendan Brazier, an Ironman triathlete; Stan Price, world record holder for the bench press; Ridgely Abele, eight-time national karate champion; Peter Burwash, Davis Cup winner and professional tennis player; Peter Hussing, super heavy-weight boxing champion; Sixto Linares, world record holder of the 24-hour triathlon; Ben Matthews, U.S. Master’s marathon champion; Dan Millman, world champion gymnast; Paavo Nurmi, long-distance runner winner and nine-time Olympic medalist and twenty-time world-record holder; Bill Pickering, world record holding swimmer; Sushil Kumar, Olympic bronze medalist wrestler; Chris Campbell, Olympic wrestling champion; Keith Holmes, world-champion middleweight boxer; Bill Mannetti, power lifting champion; Bill Pearl, four-time Mr. Universe; Andres Cahling, champion bodybuilder and Olympic gold medalist in the ski jump; Art Still, a Hall of Famer and MVP defensive end for the NFL; Ricky Williams, NFL running back; Ricardo Moreira, Ultimate Fighter; Chris Price, Muay Thai and mixed martial arts fighter; Kenneth Williams, professional bodybuilder; Jake Shields, mixed martial arts champion; Jerry Stackhouse; NBA player; Prince Fielder, MLB player; Tony Gonzalez, NFL player; Salim Stoudamire, NBA player; Desmond Howard, NFL player; Mac Danzig, UFC Champion; Pat Neshak, MLB player; Scott Jurek, ultramarathon champion; Robert Cheeke, an International Natural Bodybuilding Association and International Natural Bodybuilding & Fitness Federation bodybuilder; Dave Scott, six-time Ironman winner; Murray Rose, Olympic swimmer with six medals; Al Oerter, four-time gold medalist discus thrower; Edwin Moses, two-time gold medalist hurdler; and Olympic star Carl Lewis, who said his best year on the track was the year he adopted a vegan diet. Vegetarian athletes (and civilians) are constantly praising their plant-based diets for giving them more energy than they’ve ever had before.
So whether you’re a professional athlete, or extremely active and looking to bulk up, or you’re just the average Joe looking to meet your daily protein quota, where should this protein come from? Like any average American, your brain probably went back to the muscle-head at the gym, and you likely thought, “I need to get X grams of protein a day. I’ll just eat more chicken, meat, or fish.” (Notice we left dairy and eggs off that list.
If you still want to consume eggs or dairy products after that last chapter, we’re gonna kick your fat ass.) Somehow, we’ve all been conditioned into thinking (dairy, eggs), chicken, meat, and fish are the only foods in existence that have protein. However, this is simply not the case. And it’s a good thing, because these foods present multiple health risks.
Just. Plain. Gross.
For starters, according to the USDA, 86 percent of all food poisoning is caused by animal foods. There are all sorts of gross things you can get from eating meat, chicken, eggs, and fish (or from foods that touch these foods). You’ve all heard of salmonella, but how about campylobacter? Well, Consumer Reports tested store-bought broiler chickens nationwide and found salmonella and/or campylobacter contamination in nearly half of them, including those from organic, free-range, and kosher producers! You can also get salmonella from raw or undercooked eggs or products containing them. If you do get salmonella, be on the lookout for diarrhea, arthritis, colon damage, and the Grim Reaper. E. coli is no picnic, either, and can be caught by ingesting raw dairy products or improperly cooked meat.
Just so you know, the presence of E. coli is an indicator of fecal contamination. How’d you like a side of shit with those fries? A USDA study found detectable levels of E. coli in more than 99 percent of store-bought broiler chickens! Once infected, a person can expect bloody diarrhea and possibly even renal failure. Oh, but don’t worry. Processors spray chicken carcasses with disinfectant—inside and out. (Gag! How’d you like a can of Lysol with those wings?) Sex, Drugs, and Factory Farms.
Well, even if we do get food poisoning, we can just take medicine, right? Hmm. Of the ten billion land animals slaughtered for food each year in America, almost all come from factory farms. Factory farms that raise cattle, pigs, chickens, egg-laying hens, veal calves, or dairy cows keep an enormous number of animals in a very small space. (For example, a chicken shed can have 30,000–50,000 chickens confined, each with less space than a standard sheet of paper.) Egglaying hens are crammed into cages so small they are unable to spread even one wing. Pigs and cows are kept in stalls so small they are unable to turn around or lie down. Broiler chickens are crowded so tightly into warehouse-type structures that they often peck or trample each other to death. Animals live in the filth of their own urine, feces, and vomit with infected, festering sores and wounds. To keep them alive in these unsanitary conditions, factory farmers give animals massive amounts of antibiotics. But they don’t sort through ten billion animals to see who’s sick and might need it. They give it to all of them. Penicillin, tetracycline, and countless other antibiotics are routinely administered. When we eat the flesh of these animals, we’re eating these antibiotics. This overuse of antibiotics leads to the development of new antibiotic-resistant bacterial strains. Meaning, due to the abuse of antibiotics by factory farmers, new bacterial strains are forming (gross) and the antibiotics we’d normally take to combat them are rendered ineffective (scary). One USDA study found 67 percent of chicken and 66 percent of beef to be contaminated with “superbugs” that couldn’t be killed by antibiotics. Nasty. No wonder the European Union wants nothing to do with our meat. They only allow four antibiotics to be used on their livestock, none of which are used in human health care. Does Lady Liberty have any restrictions like these? Nope. Our country allows farmers to feed the most toxic form of arsenic to broiler chickens. You heard us. It’s legal to feed arsenic to broiler chickens (to kill parasites and promote growth). Apparently, the USDA and FDA don’t mind that researchers found arsenic residue in chicken at 100 percent of fastfood restaurants and 50 percent of supermarkets investigated.
Actually, there’s arsenic in most American meat, but there’s four times as much in chicken as in other meats. Gnarly.
On factory farms, animals are raised in the smallest quarters possible where they’re “grown” as large as possible to inflate the profit margin as much as possible. In addition to antibiotics and arsenic, anabolic steroids are routinely administered to the animals. It’s been reported that approximately 99 percent of commercially raised cattle is treated with growth hormones! When we eat their flesh, we’re eating the growth hormones. No wonder Americans are struggling with weight problems—we’re ingesting growth hormones on a regular basis.
And no wonder reproductive cancers have skyrocketed since the 1950s—breast cancer has increased by 55 percent, testicular cancer has gone up by 120 percent, and prostate cancer has increased 190 percent! In addition to antibiotics and steroids, growth-promoting sex hormones are also given to farm animals routinely. For more than a decade, the FDA has allowed farmers to implant hormonal agents in the ears of cows. These include—but are in no way limited to—testosterone (male hormone), estradiol and progesterone (female hormones), and norgestomet (a synthetic progestin). By the way, the estrogen estradiol is one of the most commonly used hormones for fattening cows. And it’s a potent carcinogen. S-c-a-r-y. Even scarier: A USDA survey of feedlots found that nearly half the cows had illegally misplaced implants in their muscle tissue, as opposed to their ears. (Let us add that the statistic represents the implants that were visibly misplaced. The actual percentage could’ve been well above half.) These hormones can contribute to estrogen dominance, which, in women, has been linked to endometriosis; fibroids; and breast, ovarian, and cervical cancer. In men, estrogen dominance can cause prostate and testicular cancer, and even “male menopause.” Don’t laugh. Male menopause can include symptoms like impotence, testicular atrophy, breast growth, fatigue, depression, and reduction or loss of sex drive. Who’s at the highest risk for male menopause? Those who worked on poultry farms, implanting chickens and turkeys with estrogen pellets! You do the math.
Mad Cow Disease, Chemicals . When Does It End? Unfortunately, hormone use is not the only area the United States is lacking in regarding meat safety issues. In Japan, 100 percent of cattle slaughtered for human consumption is tested for mad cow disease. Here, we test approximately .05714 percent. (For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that’s way less than one percent!) Former Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns admitted that testing is not done to protect consumers from mad cow disease, but rather to discern the disease’s prevalence. How reassuring. Hmm, we wonder if that’s why 65 nations have full or partial restrictions on importing our beef. It could be that. Or it could be that the FDA approved the spraying of live viruses onto meat and poultry products (to combat listeria). Yeah, the spray contains six different viral strains, and meat companies aren’t obligated to inform customers which products have been sprayed.
Unfortunately, even if the USDA and FDA implemented bans on hormones, steroids, and antibiotics, our meat would still be contaminated with toxic chemicals. Here’s how it works—Pesticides 101, Pesticides are used on crops to prevent bugs and weeds from destroying them. If it’s a crop grown for us to eat, we wash them off, getting rid of some of the chemicals. If it’s a crop used to feed animals, the pesticides are not washed off. And unlike crops grown for us to eat, crops grown for animals to eat have no limits on the amount of pesticides that can be used. More than 1.5 billion pounds of pesticides are used each year in this country! And approximately 80 percent are used on the four major animal-feed crops. P. S. Pesticides are also sprayed directly onto the animals themselves to ward off parasites, insects, rodents, and fungi. So, you can see, the animals we’re ingesting are subject to major pesticide ingestion and exposure for their entire lives. And when we ingest the animals, we’re ingesting the pesticides, too. What you can’t see is that the animals store these pesticides in their fat tissue and cells. So when you eat meat, you’re ingesting a higher amount of pesticides than you would if you ate the pesticide-treated food directly.
And unfortunately, pesticides aren’t all we’re getting. Herbicides, industrial wastes, PCBs, BFRs, BDFEs—they’re polluting our waterways and affecting our food supply. But again, the fatty tissues of animals attract and concentrate these chemicals—“bio-accumulation.” And as all these environmental pollutants move up the food chain, they’re concentrated even more—“biomagnification.” So a corn crop may have a specific amount of toxic residue in it. Then a cow, chicken, or pig eats the corn and absorbs a larger amount of toxic residue. Then a human eats the cow, chicken, or pig and absorbs an even larger amount of toxic residue.
Just one of these chemicals on its own would be scary enough. But the abundance and complex interaction of so many can wreak havoc on the endocrine, hormonal, neurological, immunological, and reproductive systems.
Something’s Fishy.
Sadly, our waters aren’t any better; they too are alarmingly polluted. So eating fish (or other seafood) is just as dangerous as eating meat. Their flesh also accumulates and absorbs chemical pollutants, like mercury, organochlorides, PCBs, and others. It works like this: Chemical levels in water may be low enough to receive passing grades from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). But the chemical concentration in algae can increase by up to 250. When the zooplankton eats the algae, the concentration can double. When the tiny shrimp eat the zooplankton, the concentration can be 45,000 times higher. By the time the little fish eat the shrimp, and the big fish eat the little fish, and we eat the big fish, we’re looking at a concentration 25 million times that which was found in the water! Don’t be thinking “farm-raised” fish are clean and pure. The feed given to farm-raised salmon has high levels of chemical pollutants, making them practically toxic in comparison with ocean-caught fish (which you now know are polluted). Farmed salmon are fed artificial dyes to make them appear pink like wild salmon, instead of the unnatural, murky gray color they actually are.
Yes, some fish contain beneficial omega-3 fatty acids, but you can get those from foods that aren’t laden with heavy metals, toxins, saturated fat and cholesterol. So even though omega-3s are hearthealthy, a recent study in the British Medical Journal reported that eating fish did not have a beneficial effect on heart health.
However, a study in the American Journal of Cardiology praised walnuts’ positive effect on arteries—unsurprising since walnuts are rich in omega-3s, cholesterol-free, and low in saturated fat.
(Other nuts, leafy greens, and flax seeds are also good sources of omega-3s.) Friggin’ Protein.
Whether it’s milk, cheese, eggs, chicken, pork, beef, or fish, animal foods are the only ones that have cholesterol. They also contain a less than ideal fat profile. And that’s in addition to all the bacteria, hormones, steroids, pesticides, chemical pollutants, and antibiotics! Um, so why do we eat them—for protein? Yep, basically, we risk heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and all sorts of cancers because we’ve been brainwashed into thinking these are the only foods with protein. But you now know we can easily obtain adequate protein by eating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes. And it just so happens that those foods have a variety of health benefits, too! Again, eat all types of beans, peas, lentils, nuts, and seeds; breads and pastas made from whole grains; bulgur; millet; barley; quinoa; buckwheat; oats; amaranth; brown rice; potatoes; sweet potatoes; broccoli; kale; asparagus; avocados, soybeans; tofu —the list is endless, really. Fruits. Veggies.
Legumes. Nuts. Seeds. Whole grains. All sources of protein.
And contrary to popular belief (surprise, surprise), meat is not the only “complete” protein. Meaning, soybeans also have all the amino acids our bodies can’t produce on their own. But even if you don’t eat soy, you can get all the aminos by eating a variety of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. And it doesn’t have to be in one sitting. As long as you’re eating a variety of foods from those food groups, you’re getting all the aminos you need! Another common myth that has been debunked is the “food combining” theory. Animal flesh proteins are “complete,” meaning they contain all nine essential amino acids in amounts similar to those found in human flesh. Plants have all these amino acids, too, just in slightly different amounts. It was previously believed that to create complete proteins from vegetarian foods, you needed to combine them in specific ways. For example, it was said rice and beans had to be eaten together to maximize their protein potential. However, it is now known that eating a variety of foods from plant sources provides all the building blocks we need. Further, the microorganisms and recycled cells in our intestinal tracts make complete proteins for us. All we have to do is eat healthy, balanced diets.
The Soy Saga.
Will soymilk give you man-boobs? Do men have wittle wee-wees because they eat tofu? There’s so much madness surrounding soy, it’s hard to know what the real “truth” is. Soy supporters claim it can do everything—lower cholesterol, reduce heart disease, and decrease risk of multiple cancers. Opponents claim it can depress thyroid function, cause cancer, and negatively affect sperm. Here’s what we know to be “pro-soy true”: * Soybeans are “complete proteins,” meaning they contain the essential amino acids our bodies don’t manufacture.
* Calorie for calorie, soybeans have twice as much protein as red meat and cheese, and ten times more protein than whole milk.
* Soybeans are a good source of omega-3 fatty acids.
* Soybeans have more iron, calcium, phosphorous, and B vitamins than eggs.
* The majority of studies claiming soy has negative effects were conducted on animals. And animal tests are simply unreliable indicators, as the biology of each species varies greatly. (Cases in point: Thalidomide tested safe in animals, but caused horrendous birth defects in children. Diet phenom “fen-phen” tested safe in animals, but caused heart abnormalities in humans. Arthritis drug Opren tested safe in animals but killed humans!) * Entire civilizations have been eating soy for thousands of years without any ill effects and, in fact, have lower instances of cancer and heart disease.
Here’s what we know to be “anti-soy true”: * None of these civilizations have been eating as much soy as we eat now.
* None of these civilizations have been eating soy in so many highly processed forms. They’ve been eating tofu, tempeh, miso, and actual soybeans. Here and now, we have soy “meats,” “cheeses,” “ice creams,” and even supplements. And soybean oil makes its way into a multitude of processed foods.
* Soy is one of the most commonly genetically engineered crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be eating soybeans that have been genetically manipulated.
* Soy is one of the highest pesticide-yielding crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be getting a hefty dose of pesticides.
So what’s all the drama about? Basically, it centers on isoflavones and phytoestrogens, chemical compounds found in soybeans (and other plant foods, too). Because isoflavones and phytoestrogens structurally resemble human estrogens, their safety has been questioned.
However, anti-soy studies use an isolated, concentrated amount of soy isoflavones that exceed what a person would consume. And again, the studies showing negative effects are conducted on animals, who metabolize soy differently than we do. (Case in point: Humans can eat chocolate without incidence. However, chocolate can be fatal when ingested by dogs.) In addition, when you extract certain components of many foods and test them in isolation, they can be harmful. But when eaten as part of whole foods in normal-sized servings, they are perfectly safe. Mushrooms, broccoli, lentils, grapefruits, peanuts, spinach, chard, and celery are all examples of this. Broccoli, lentils, and grapefruit have naturally occurring pesticides, which, if you extracted and ate in their concentrated forms in high doses, can cause mutations. Mushrooms contain carcinogens. Peanuts can harbor traces of aflatoxin, cancer-causing substances. Spinach and chard contain an acid that can diminish calcium absorption. And celery has toxins that can damage the immune system. But these are all healthy foods. And the sums of all their parts offer protection from the potential dangers of one or two individual components. It’s when we start tinkering with their chemistry that we see “dangers.” So it isn’t surprising to see breast cancer cells in mice who are dosed with a thousand milligrams of soy isoflavones.
Another common accusation is that soy has a negative impact on thyroid function. However, only one adult human study conducted in Japan over fifteen years ago has concluded that. (And betterdesigned and more recent studies done in the United States did not support those findings.) Every day for three months straight, seventeen people were fed thirty grams of pickled, roasted soybeans. Half of these participants experienced either an enlargement of the thyroid or a hypothyroidism symptom, like fatigue or constipation. Do eight or nine people (some experiencing only fatigue or constipation) prove that soy has a negative effect on thyroid function? So a lot of the negative hype around soy is bullshit. Does that mean soy is the wonder bean and will cure baldness, burn fat, and make your wang-doodle bigger? We have no idea. And we’re not interested in delving deeper into any research that makes these claims. In our humble opinions based on research we trust, moderate consumption of soy products is safe. Do we eat ten servings a day? No. Do we take soy supplements? No. Do we add soy powders to our smoothies? No. Do we use soy as a wonder food or drug? No. But do we eat soy products? Yep.
We’re not medical researchers or epidemiologists, so we’ll understand if our humble opinions don’t mean shit to you. According to health expert Dr. Andrew Weil, “There is still much to be learned about soy, but the majority of research so far has shown that it’s a safe and nutritious food when eaten in reasonable amounts—about one or two daily servings.” And even though countless other doctors, medical researchers, and epidemiologists also feel moderate consumption of soy products is safe, their opinions may not mean shit to you, either. Good! You’re questioning authority and taking matters into your own hands! We encourage you to think for yourself and make your own decisions. (Or let your nag-ass wife decide for you.) If you’re still not sure about soy, do your own research and decide for yourself, especially if you or your family members have thyroid problems or breast cancer. Knowledge is self-power. Kowtowing to your doctor without doing your own homework is just plain lazy. But be prepared to dig deep for the truth. Some pro-soy medical studies are paid for by the soy industry. Some anti-soy medical studies are paid for by the dairy and meat industries.
If you decide to eat soy products, know that these foods may not taste exactly like the real thing. But once you get rid of your meat addiction, you’ll be satisfied with the substitutes. You just need to spend a few weeks (and dollars) experimenting until you find the ones you like. Veggie burgers exist by the dozen. Health Is Wealth makes fake buffalo wings that taste so good, your pubes will fall out.
Gardenburger’s flame-grilled chik’n is so amazing, you might have to kill yourself. Lightlife and Tofurky have kick-ass lines of “cold cuts” and incredible “bacon.” And Gardein has it all! Seek and ye shall find. You don’t have to look far: We list these meatless wonders in Chapter 12.
Remember to use common sense, too. In general, the more processed a food is, the less wholesome it is for you. (Like eating an apple and a handful of nuts is healthier than eating an energy bar that has apple and nuts in it.) So whole soybeans, edamame, tofu, tempeh, and miso are more nutritious than other more highly processed soy foods. But if faced with eating chicken or soy chicken, meat or soy meat, cheese or soy cheese, we’d definitely choose the soy every time.
(FYI: Many people find soy products to be excellent transitional foods for getting off meat and dairy products. Then, after a few months or even a year, they discontinue eating soy.) But also remember that it doesn’t have to be either/or. You can abstain from eating animal products and soy and still be healthy. So long as you are eating a balance of fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds every day, and following doctors’ orders for supplementing, you will thrive.
An integral part of any healthy, balanced diet is fat. Don’t cringe.
Fat doesn’t always mean fattening. Essential fatty acids provide us with energy and offer protection from heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure. They also combat allergies, arthritis, and skin problems. Our brilliant bodies make all the essential fatty acids we need, except for two: linoleic and linolenic acids, also known as omega-3 and omega-6. These good fats are found in nuts, seeds (and their “butters”), olives, avocados, and olive oil, sesame oil, flaxseed oil, canola oil, and hempseed oil. So quit listening to all the stupid pansies who boycott nuts, oils, and avocados because they think they’re fattening. Even though they’re high in fat, they will not make you fat (unless you overdose on them). Unsaturated fats such as these are good for your body, and when eaten as part of a well-balanced vegan diet, they don’t make you fat! It’s the saturated fats found in meat, dairy, and hydrogenated oils that make you fat. Think about the source of the oils or fats and use your head. Do you think an avocado, which is a fruit, is going to turn you into a lardass? Common sense, dude.
Speaking of common sense, now that you’re totally onboard with the whole veg thing, we need to point something out to you: People are really fucking stupid when it comes to vegetarianism; they just can’t wrap their minds around it. Everyone has a preconceived notion about it and it’s really hard for them to step outside what they think they know. You will inevitably come up against one, if not all of, the following ridiculous statements: * “I knew a vegetarian once—he was fat; he ate a ton of junk food all the time.” Um, I know about a million meat-eaters who are fat and eat a ton of junk food all the time.
* “I’ve seen plenty of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking vegetarians.” Hmm...there is no shortage of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking meat-eaters.
* “I could never give up eating meat.” Um, no one is asking you to, narcissist, I’m just telling you that I don’t eat it.
* “Oh, I wouldn’t go vegetarian; vegetarians don’t get enough protein.” Actually, they get plenty. But it’s always fascinating how people express concern about protein deficiency, as opposed to real issues, like heart disease, diabetes, and cancers—our nation’s top killers, all of which meat-eaters are more likely to encounter.
Ah, people. They can be idiots. Forgive them. They know not how dumb they are.
So clearly, protein is an important part of any diet. But it shouldn’t be the cornerstone of any diet, and this is where the high-protein/lowcarb craze really misleads people. You know by now that complex carbs shouldn’t be forsaken. But should you overload on protein? Hell, no. If we had a penny for every time some meat head asked us, “So where do you get your protein?” we’d be richer than Trump. Have you ever, in your entire life, heard of anyone in a developed country suffering from a protein deficiency? Did you ever see an elephant, moose, or giraffe jonesing for a protein fix? If you weren’t blacked out on bourbon for the past four chapters, you should know by now: It is a complete urban myth that we need a massive amount of protein. Too much protein, especially animal protein, can impair our kidneys; leach calcium, zinc, B vitamins, iron, and magnesium from our bodies; and cause osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, and obesity. In addition, high amounts of protein can damage our tissues, organs, and cells, contributing to faster aging. Yikes! Know this: People in other cultures consume half the amount of protein that we do, yet they live longer, healthier lives.
Although too much is harmful, protein is still vital to our health.
Protein produces enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, and antibodies; replaces worn out cells; transports various substances throughout the body; and aids in growth and repair. Basically, if you eat a well-balanced vegan diet, you’ll get enough protein. But for all you annoying counters who want a stupid number to latch onto, here’s a simple equation to find out how much protein you need: Body weight (in pounds) x .36 equal recommended protein intake , (This number gives the average person a large margin of safety.) Researchers at Harvard found that vegetarians (who don’t live on junk food) get adequate amounts of protein in their diets. The American Dietetic Association reports that eating a vegetarian diet provides twice the amount of protein needed daily. In his book Optimal Health, Dr. Patrick Holford explains that “most people are in more danger of eating too much protein than too little.” So pick something else to be neurotic about (like your bald spot).
How do vegans get protein? Simply. We eat lentils, beans, peas, nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, and soy products (edamame, tofu, imitation cheeses and meats). When you eat well-balanced meals consisting of these foods, you are guaranteed to get sufficient protein. For example, for lunch, if you had a soy burger on a whole grain bun with avocado and tomato and a small side salad, you’d get 22 grams of protein. See how easy? If you want an extra boost, treat yourself to spirulina, high-protein algae that contains omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, B-12 (important for vegetarians), enzymes, and minerals. It also repairs free-radical damage (caused by chemicals that harm cells and contribute to premature aging, heart disease, and cancer), supports the immune system, fights cancer, and helps with hypoglycemia, anemia, ulcers, diabetes, and chronic fatigue syndrome.
Spirulina also contains all nine essential amino acids.
Amino acids, huh? Yep. There are twenty amino acids. Our bodies produce eleven, and the other nine essential amino acids can be obtained through food. Amino acids are the building blocks of protein. And yes, protein does build muscle. But even if you work out and want to build muscle, you don’t need to overdose on animal protein (a ridiculous myth perpetuated by dumbbells). Bear in mind, some tough-ass motherfuckers are vegans or vegetarians: Tim Van Orden, a champion road-, mountain-, snowshoe-, and stair-climb racer; John Salley, a four-time NBA champion; Brendan Brazier, an Ironman triathlete; Stan Price, world record holder for the bench press; Ridgely Abele, eight-time national karate champion; Peter Burwash, Davis Cup winner and professional tennis player; Peter Hussing, super heavy-weight boxing champion; Sixto Linares, world record holder of the 24-hour triathlon; Ben Matthews, U.S. Master’s marathon champion; Dan Millman, world champion gymnast; Paavo Nurmi, long-distance runner winner and nine-time Olympic medalist and twenty-time world-record holder; Bill Pickering, world record holding swimmer; Sushil Kumar, Olympic bronze medalist wrestler; Chris Campbell, Olympic wrestling champion; Keith Holmes, world-champion middleweight boxer; Bill Mannetti, power lifting champion; Bill Pearl, four-time Mr. Universe; Andres Cahling, champion bodybuilder and Olympic gold medalist in the ski jump; Art Still, a Hall of Famer and MVP defensive end for the NFL; Ricky Williams, NFL running back; Ricardo Moreira, Ultimate Fighter; Chris Price, Muay Thai and mixed martial arts fighter; Kenneth Williams, professional bodybuilder; Jake Shields, mixed martial arts champion; Jerry Stackhouse; NBA player; Prince Fielder, MLB player; Tony Gonzalez, NFL player; Salim Stoudamire, NBA player; Desmond Howard, NFL player; Mac Danzig, UFC Champion; Pat Neshak, MLB player; Scott Jurek, ultramarathon champion; Robert Cheeke, an International Natural Bodybuilding Association and International Natural Bodybuilding & Fitness Federation bodybuilder; Dave Scott, six-time Ironman winner; Murray Rose, Olympic swimmer with six medals; Al Oerter, four-time gold medalist discus thrower; Edwin Moses, two-time gold medalist hurdler; and Olympic star Carl Lewis, who said his best year on the track was the year he adopted a vegan diet. Vegetarian athletes (and civilians) are constantly praising their plant-based diets for giving them more energy than they’ve ever had before.
So whether you’re a professional athlete, or extremely active and looking to bulk up, or you’re just the average Joe looking to meet your daily protein quota, where should this protein come from? Like any average American, your brain probably went back to the muscle-head at the gym, and you likely thought, “I need to get X grams of protein a day. I’ll just eat more chicken, meat, or fish.” (Notice we left dairy and eggs off that list.
If you still want to consume eggs or dairy products after that last chapter, we’re gonna kick your fat ass.) Somehow, we’ve all been conditioned into thinking (dairy, eggs), chicken, meat, and fish are the only foods in existence that have protein. However, this is simply not the case. And it’s a good thing, because these foods present multiple health risks.
Just. Plain. Gross.
For starters, according to the USDA, 86 percent of all food poisoning is caused by animal foods. There are all sorts of gross things you can get from eating meat, chicken, eggs, and fish (or from foods that touch these foods). You’ve all heard of salmonella, but how about campylobacter? Well, Consumer Reports tested store-bought broiler chickens nationwide and found salmonella and/or campylobacter contamination in nearly half of them, including those from organic, free-range, and kosher producers! You can also get salmonella from raw or undercooked eggs or products containing them. If you do get salmonella, be on the lookout for diarrhea, arthritis, colon damage, and the Grim Reaper. E. coli is no picnic, either, and can be caught by ingesting raw dairy products or improperly cooked meat.
Just so you know, the presence of E. coli is an indicator of fecal contamination. How’d you like a side of shit with those fries? A USDA study found detectable levels of E. coli in more than 99 percent of store-bought broiler chickens! Once infected, a person can expect bloody diarrhea and possibly even renal failure. Oh, but don’t worry. Processors spray chicken carcasses with disinfectant—inside and out. (Gag! How’d you like a can of Lysol with those wings?) Sex, Drugs, and Factory Farms.
Well, even if we do get food poisoning, we can just take medicine, right? Hmm. Of the ten billion land animals slaughtered for food each year in America, almost all come from factory farms. Factory farms that raise cattle, pigs, chickens, egg-laying hens, veal calves, or dairy cows keep an enormous number of animals in a very small space. (For example, a chicken shed can have 30,000–50,000 chickens confined, each with less space than a standard sheet of paper.) Egglaying hens are crammed into cages so small they are unable to spread even one wing. Pigs and cows are kept in stalls so small they are unable to turn around or lie down. Broiler chickens are crowded so tightly into warehouse-type structures that they often peck or trample each other to death. Animals live in the filth of their own urine, feces, and vomit with infected, festering sores and wounds. To keep them alive in these unsanitary conditions, factory farmers give animals massive amounts of antibiotics. But they don’t sort through ten billion animals to see who’s sick and might need it. They give it to all of them. Penicillin, tetracycline, and countless other antibiotics are routinely administered. When we eat the flesh of these animals, we’re eating these antibiotics. This overuse of antibiotics leads to the development of new antibiotic-resistant bacterial strains. Meaning, due to the abuse of antibiotics by factory farmers, new bacterial strains are forming (gross) and the antibiotics we’d normally take to combat them are rendered ineffective (scary). One USDA study found 67 percent of chicken and 66 percent of beef to be contaminated with “superbugs” that couldn’t be killed by antibiotics. Nasty. No wonder the European Union wants nothing to do with our meat. They only allow four antibiotics to be used on their livestock, none of which are used in human health care. Does Lady Liberty have any restrictions like these? Nope. Our country allows farmers to feed the most toxic form of arsenic to broiler chickens. You heard us. It’s legal to feed arsenic to broiler chickens (to kill parasites and promote growth). Apparently, the USDA and FDA don’t mind that researchers found arsenic residue in chicken at 100 percent of fastfood restaurants and 50 percent of supermarkets investigated.
Actually, there’s arsenic in most American meat, but there’s four times as much in chicken as in other meats. Gnarly.
On factory farms, animals are raised in the smallest quarters possible where they’re “grown” as large as possible to inflate the profit margin as much as possible. In addition to antibiotics and arsenic, anabolic steroids are routinely administered to the animals. It’s been reported that approximately 99 percent of commercially raised cattle is treated with growth hormones! When we eat their flesh, we’re eating the growth hormones. No wonder Americans are struggling with weight problems—we’re ingesting growth hormones on a regular basis.
And no wonder reproductive cancers have skyrocketed since the 1950s—breast cancer has increased by 55 percent, testicular cancer has gone up by 120 percent, and prostate cancer has increased 190 percent! In addition to antibiotics and steroids, growth-promoting sex hormones are also given to farm animals routinely. For more than a decade, the FDA has allowed farmers to implant hormonal agents in the ears of cows. These include—but are in no way limited to—testosterone (male hormone), estradiol and progesterone (female hormones), and norgestomet (a synthetic progestin). By the way, the estrogen estradiol is one of the most commonly used hormones for fattening cows. And it’s a potent carcinogen. S-c-a-r-y. Even scarier: A USDA survey of feedlots found that nearly half the cows had illegally misplaced implants in their muscle tissue, as opposed to their ears. (Let us add that the statistic represents the implants that were visibly misplaced. The actual percentage could’ve been well above half.) These hormones can contribute to estrogen dominance, which, in women, has been linked to endometriosis; fibroids; and breast, ovarian, and cervical cancer. In men, estrogen dominance can cause prostate and testicular cancer, and even “male menopause.” Don’t laugh. Male menopause can include symptoms like impotence, testicular atrophy, breast growth, fatigue, depression, and reduction or loss of sex drive. Who’s at the highest risk for male menopause? Those who worked on poultry farms, implanting chickens and turkeys with estrogen pellets! You do the math.
Mad Cow Disease, Chemicals . When Does It End? Unfortunately, hormone use is not the only area the United States is lacking in regarding meat safety issues. In Japan, 100 percent of cattle slaughtered for human consumption is tested for mad cow disease. Here, we test approximately .05714 percent. (For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that’s way less than one percent!) Former Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns admitted that testing is not done to protect consumers from mad cow disease, but rather to discern the disease’s prevalence. How reassuring. Hmm, we wonder if that’s why 65 nations have full or partial restrictions on importing our beef. It could be that. Or it could be that the FDA approved the spraying of live viruses onto meat and poultry products (to combat listeria). Yeah, the spray contains six different viral strains, and meat companies aren’t obligated to inform customers which products have been sprayed.
Unfortunately, even if the USDA and FDA implemented bans on hormones, steroids, and antibiotics, our meat would still be contaminated with toxic chemicals. Here’s how it works—Pesticides 101, Pesticides are used on crops to prevent bugs and weeds from destroying them. If it’s a crop grown for us to eat, we wash them off, getting rid of some of the chemicals. If it’s a crop used to feed animals, the pesticides are not washed off. And unlike crops grown for us to eat, crops grown for animals to eat have no limits on the amount of pesticides that can be used. More than 1.5 billion pounds of pesticides are used each year in this country! And approximately 80 percent are used on the four major animal-feed crops. P. S. Pesticides are also sprayed directly onto the animals themselves to ward off parasites, insects, rodents, and fungi. So, you can see, the animals we’re ingesting are subject to major pesticide ingestion and exposure for their entire lives. And when we ingest the animals, we’re ingesting the pesticides, too. What you can’t see is that the animals store these pesticides in their fat tissue and cells. So when you eat meat, you’re ingesting a higher amount of pesticides than you would if you ate the pesticide-treated food directly.
And unfortunately, pesticides aren’t all we’re getting. Herbicides, industrial wastes, PCBs, BFRs, BDFEs—they’re polluting our waterways and affecting our food supply. But again, the fatty tissues of animals attract and concentrate these chemicals—“bio-accumulation.” And as all these environmental pollutants move up the food chain, they’re concentrated even more—“biomagnification.” So a corn crop may have a specific amount of toxic residue in it. Then a cow, chicken, or pig eats the corn and absorbs a larger amount of toxic residue. Then a human eats the cow, chicken, or pig and absorbs an even larger amount of toxic residue.
Just one of these chemicals on its own would be scary enough. But the abundance and complex interaction of so many can wreak havoc on the endocrine, hormonal, neurological, immunological, and reproductive systems.
Something’s Fishy.
Sadly, our waters aren’t any better; they too are alarmingly polluted. So eating fish (or other seafood) is just as dangerous as eating meat. Their flesh also accumulates and absorbs chemical pollutants, like mercury, organochlorides, PCBs, and others. It works like this: Chemical levels in water may be low enough to receive passing grades from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). But the chemical concentration in algae can increase by up to 250. When the zooplankton eats the algae, the concentration can double. When the tiny shrimp eat the zooplankton, the concentration can be 45,000 times higher. By the time the little fish eat the shrimp, and the big fish eat the little fish, and we eat the big fish, we’re looking at a concentration 25 million times that which was found in the water! Don’t be thinking “farm-raised” fish are clean and pure. The feed given to farm-raised salmon has high levels of chemical pollutants, making them practically toxic in comparison with ocean-caught fish (which you now know are polluted). Farmed salmon are fed artificial dyes to make them appear pink like wild salmon, instead of the unnatural, murky gray color they actually are.
Yes, some fish contain beneficial omega-3 fatty acids, but you can get those from foods that aren’t laden with heavy metals, toxins, saturated fat and cholesterol. So even though omega-3s are hearthealthy, a recent study in the British Medical Journal reported that eating fish did not have a beneficial effect on heart health.
However, a study in the American Journal of Cardiology praised walnuts’ positive effect on arteries—unsurprising since walnuts are rich in omega-3s, cholesterol-free, and low in saturated fat.
(Other nuts, leafy greens, and flax seeds are also good sources of omega-3s.) Friggin’ Protein.
Whether it’s milk, cheese, eggs, chicken, pork, beef, or fish, animal foods are the only ones that have cholesterol. They also contain a less than ideal fat profile. And that’s in addition to all the bacteria, hormones, steroids, pesticides, chemical pollutants, and antibiotics! Um, so why do we eat them—for protein? Yep, basically, we risk heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and all sorts of cancers because we’ve been brainwashed into thinking these are the only foods with protein. But you now know we can easily obtain adequate protein by eating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes. And it just so happens that those foods have a variety of health benefits, too! Again, eat all types of beans, peas, lentils, nuts, and seeds; breads and pastas made from whole grains; bulgur; millet; barley; quinoa; buckwheat; oats; amaranth; brown rice; potatoes; sweet potatoes; broccoli; kale; asparagus; avocados, soybeans; tofu —the list is endless, really. Fruits. Veggies.
Legumes. Nuts. Seeds. Whole grains. All sources of protein.
And contrary to popular belief (surprise, surprise), meat is not the only “complete” protein. Meaning, soybeans also have all the amino acids our bodies can’t produce on their own. But even if you don’t eat soy, you can get all the aminos by eating a variety of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. And it doesn’t have to be in one sitting. As long as you’re eating a variety of foods from those food groups, you’re getting all the aminos you need! Another common myth that has been debunked is the “food combining” theory. Animal flesh proteins are “complete,” meaning they contain all nine essential amino acids in amounts similar to those found in human flesh. Plants have all these amino acids, too, just in slightly different amounts. It was previously believed that to create complete proteins from vegetarian foods, you needed to combine them in specific ways. For example, it was said rice and beans had to be eaten together to maximize their protein potential. However, it is now known that eating a variety of foods from plant sources provides all the building blocks we need. Further, the microorganisms and recycled cells in our intestinal tracts make complete proteins for us. All we have to do is eat healthy, balanced diets.
The Soy Saga.
Will soymilk give you man-boobs? Do men have wittle wee-wees because they eat tofu? There’s so much madness surrounding soy, it’s hard to know what the real “truth” is. Soy supporters claim it can do everything—lower cholesterol, reduce heart disease, and decrease risk of multiple cancers. Opponents claim it can depress thyroid function, cause cancer, and negatively affect sperm. Here’s what we know to be “pro-soy true”: * Soybeans are “complete proteins,” meaning they contain the essential amino acids our bodies don’t manufacture.
* Calorie for calorie, soybeans have twice as much protein as red meat and cheese, and ten times more protein than whole milk.
* Soybeans are a good source of omega-3 fatty acids.
* Soybeans have more iron, calcium, phosphorous, and B vitamins than eggs.
* The majority of studies claiming soy has negative effects were conducted on animals. And animal tests are simply unreliable indicators, as the biology of each species varies greatly. (Cases in point: Thalidomide tested safe in animals, but caused horrendous birth defects in children. Diet phenom “fen-phen” tested safe in animals, but caused heart abnormalities in humans. Arthritis drug Opren tested safe in animals but killed humans!) * Entire civilizations have been eating soy for thousands of years without any ill effects and, in fact, have lower instances of cancer and heart disease.
Here’s what we know to be “anti-soy true”: * None of these civilizations have been eating as much soy as we eat now.
* None of these civilizations have been eating soy in so many highly processed forms. They’ve been eating tofu, tempeh, miso, and actual soybeans. Here and now, we have soy “meats,” “cheeses,” “ice creams,” and even supplements. And soybean oil makes its way into a multitude of processed foods.
* Soy is one of the most commonly genetically engineered crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be eating soybeans that have been genetically manipulated.
* Soy is one of the highest pesticide-yielding crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be getting a hefty dose of pesticides.
So what’s all the drama about? Basically, it centers on isoflavones and phytoestrogens, chemical compounds found in soybeans (and other plant foods, too). Because isoflavones and phytoestrogens structurally resemble human estrogens, their safety has been questioned.
However, anti-soy studies use an isolated, concentrated amount of soy isoflavones that exceed what a person would consume. And again, the studies showing negative effects are conducted on animals, who metabolize soy differently than we do. (Case in point: Humans can eat chocolate without incidence. However, chocolate can be fatal when ingested by dogs.) In addition, when you extract certain components of many foods and test them in isolation, they can be harmful. But when eaten as part of whole foods in normal-sized servings, they are perfectly safe. Mushrooms, broccoli, lentils, grapefruits, peanuts, spinach, chard, and celery are all examples of this. Broccoli, lentils, and grapefruit have naturally occurring pesticides, which, if you extracted and ate in their concentrated forms in high doses, can cause mutations. Mushrooms contain carcinogens. Peanuts can harbor traces of aflatoxin, cancer-causing substances. Spinach and chard contain an acid that can diminish calcium absorption. And celery has toxins that can damage the immune system. But these are all healthy foods. And the sums of all their parts offer protection from the potential dangers of one or two individual components. It’s when we start tinkering with their chemistry that we see “dangers.” So it isn’t surprising to see breast cancer cells in mice who are dosed with a thousand milligrams of soy isoflavones.
Another common accusation is that soy has a negative impact on thyroid function. However, only one adult human study conducted in Japan over fifteen years ago has concluded that. (And betterdesigned and more recent studies done in the United States did not support those findings.) Every day for three months straight, seventeen people were fed thirty grams of pickled, roasted soybeans. Half of these participants experienced either an enlargement of the thyroid or a hypothyroidism symptom, like fatigue or constipation. Do eight or nine people (some experiencing only fatigue or constipation) prove that soy has a negative effect on thyroid function? So a lot of the negative hype around soy is bullshit. Does that mean soy is the wonder bean and will cure baldness, burn fat, and make your wang-doodle bigger? We have no idea. And we’re not interested in delving deeper into any research that makes these claims. In our humble opinions based on research we trust, moderate consumption of soy products is safe. Do we eat ten servings a day? No. Do we take soy supplements? No. Do we add soy powders to our smoothies? No. Do we use soy as a wonder food or drug? No. But do we eat soy products? Yep.
We’re not medical researchers or epidemiologists, so we’ll understand if our humble opinions don’t mean shit to you. According to health expert Dr. Andrew Weil, “There is still much to be learned about soy, but the majority of research so far has shown that it’s a safe and nutritious food when eaten in reasonable amounts—about one or two daily servings.” And even though countless other doctors, medical researchers, and epidemiologists also feel moderate consumption of soy products is safe, their opinions may not mean shit to you, either. Good! You’re questioning authority and taking matters into your own hands! We encourage you to think for yourself and make your own decisions. (Or let your nag-ass wife decide for you.) If you’re still not sure about soy, do your own research and decide for yourself, especially if you or your family members have thyroid problems or breast cancer. Knowledge is self-power. Kowtowing to your doctor without doing your own homework is just plain lazy. But be prepared to dig deep for the truth. Some pro-soy medical studies are paid for by the soy industry. Some anti-soy medical studies are paid for by the dairy and meat industries.
If you decide to eat soy products, know that these foods may not taste exactly like the real thing. But once you get rid of your meat addiction, you’ll be satisfied with the substitutes. You just need to spend a few weeks (and dollars) experimenting until you find the ones you like. Veggie burgers exist by the dozen. Health Is Wealth makes fake buffalo wings that taste so good, your pubes will fall out.
Gardenburger’s flame-grilled chik’n is so amazing, you might have to kill yourself. Lightlife and Tofurky have kick-ass lines of “cold cuts” and incredible “bacon.” And Gardein has it all! Seek and ye shall find. You don’t have to look far: We list these meatless wonders in Chapter 12.
Remember to use common sense, too. In general, the more processed a food is, the less wholesome it is for you. (Like eating an apple and a handful of nuts is healthier than eating an energy bar that has apple and nuts in it.) So whole soybeans, edamame, tofu, tempeh, and miso are more nutritious than other more highly processed soy foods. But if faced with eating chicken or soy chicken, meat or soy meat, cheese or soy cheese, we’d definitely choose the soy every time.
(FYI: Many people find soy products to be excellent transitional foods for getting off meat and dairy products. Then, after a few months or even a year, they discontinue eating soy.) But also remember that it doesn’t have to be either/or. You can abstain from eating animal products and soy and still be healthy. So long as you are eating a balance of fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds every day, and following doctors’ orders for supplementing, you will thrive.
An integral part of any healthy, balanced diet is fat. Don’t cringe.
Fat doesn’t always mean fattening. Essential fatty acids provide us with energy and offer protection from heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure. They also combat allergies, arthritis, and skin problems. Our brilliant bodies make all the essential fatty acids we need, except for two: linoleic and linolenic acids, also known as omega-3 and omega-6. These good fats are found in nuts, seeds (and their “butters”), olives, avocados, and olive oil, sesame oil, flaxseed oil, canola oil, and hempseed oil. So quit listening to all the stupid pansies who boycott nuts, oils, and avocados because they think they’re fattening. Even though they’re high in fat, they will not make you fat (unless you overdose on them). Unsaturated fats such as these are good for your body, and when eaten as part of a well-balanced vegan diet, they don’t make you fat! It’s the saturated fats found in meat, dairy, and hydrogenated oils that make you fat. Think about the source of the oils or fats and use your head. Do you think an avocado, which is a fruit, is going to turn you into a lardass? Common sense, dude.
Speaking of common sense, now that you’re totally onboard with the whole veg thing, we need to point something out to you: People are really fucking stupid when it comes to vegetarianism; they just can’t wrap their minds around it. Everyone has a preconceived notion about it and it’s really hard for them to step outside what they think they know. You will inevitably come up against one, if not all of, the following ridiculous statements: * “I knew a vegetarian once—he was fat; he ate a ton of junk food all the time.” Um, I know about a million meat-eaters who are fat and eat a ton of junk food all the time.
* “I’ve seen plenty of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking vegetarians.” Hmm...there is no shortage of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking meat-eaters.
* “I could never give up eating meat.” Um, no one is asking you to, narcissist, I’m just telling you that I don’t eat it.
* “Oh, I wouldn’t go vegetarian; vegetarians don’t get enough protein.” Actually, they get plenty. But it’s always fascinating how people express concern about protein deficiency, as opposed to real issues, like heart disease, diabetes, and cancers—our nation’s top killers, all of which meat-eaters are more likely to encounter.
Ah, people. They can be idiots. Forgive them. They know not how dumb they are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)