Skinny Bastard. Chapter 7. The Myths and Lies About Protein.

With all the low-carb bullshit going on in this country, it’s never been more necessary to establish the facts about protein. First and foremost, everyone seems to think that protein exists just to help build muscle—like protein is the big muscle-head at the gym. Yes, protein does form muscle tissue, but it has many more functions than that. Protein assures proper growth, maintenance, and repair of all body tissues (not just muscles). It also contributes to healing the body; production of blood cells, energy, and hormones; the formation of antibodies and hemoglobin; and the building of enzymes. Those who don’t get enough protein can suffer from decreased immunity, loss of muscle mass, improper growth, and weakening of the heart and respiratory system.

So clearly, protein is an important part of any diet. But it shouldn’t be the cornerstone of any diet, and this is where the high-protein/lowcarb craze really misleads people. You know by now that complex carbs shouldn’t be forsaken. But should you overload on protein? Hell, no. If we had a penny for every time some meat head asked us, “So where do you get your protein?” we’d be richer than Trump. Have you ever, in your entire life, heard of anyone in a developed country suffering from a protein deficiency? Did you ever see an elephant, moose, or giraffe jonesing for a protein fix? If you weren’t blacked out on bourbon for the past four chapters, you should know by now: It is a complete urban myth that we need a massive amount of protein. Too much protein, especially animal protein, can impair our kidneys; leach calcium, zinc, B vitamins, iron, and magnesium from our bodies; and cause osteoporosis, heart disease, cancer, and obesity. In addition, high amounts of protein can damage our tissues, organs, and cells, contributing to faster aging. Yikes! Know this: People in other cultures consume half the amount of protein that we do, yet they live longer, healthier lives.

Although too much is harmful, protein is still vital to our health.

Protein produces enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, and antibodies; replaces worn out cells; transports various substances throughout the body; and aids in growth and repair. Basically, if you eat a well-balanced vegan diet, you’ll get enough protein. But for all you annoying counters who want a stupid number to latch onto, here’s a simple equation to find out how much protein you need: Body weight (in pounds) x .36 equal recommended protein intake , (This number gives the average person a large margin of safety.) Researchers at Harvard found that vegetarians (who don’t live on junk food) get adequate amounts of protein in their diets. The American Dietetic Association reports that eating a vegetarian diet provides twice the amount of protein needed daily. In his book Optimal Health, Dr. Patrick Holford explains that “most people are in more danger of eating too much protein than too little.” So pick something else to be neurotic about (like your bald spot).

How do vegans get protein? Simply. We eat lentils, beans, peas, nuts, seeds, fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, and soy products (edamame, tofu, imitation cheeses and meats). When you eat well-balanced meals consisting of these foods, you are guaranteed to get sufficient protein. For example, for lunch, if you had a soy burger on a whole grain bun with avocado and tomato and a small side salad, you’d get 22 grams of protein. See how easy? If you want an extra boost, treat yourself to spirulina, high-protein algae that contains omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, B-12 (important for vegetarians), enzymes, and minerals. It also repairs free-radical damage (caused by chemicals that harm cells and contribute to premature aging, heart disease, and cancer), supports the immune system, fights cancer, and helps with hypoglycemia, anemia, ulcers, diabetes, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Spirulina also contains all nine essential amino acids.

Amino acids, huh? Yep. There are twenty amino acids. Our bodies produce eleven, and the other nine essential amino acids can be obtained through food. Amino acids are the building blocks of protein. And yes, protein does build muscle. But even if you work out and want to build muscle, you don’t need to overdose on animal protein (a ridiculous myth perpetuated by dumbbells). Bear in mind, some tough-ass motherfuckers are vegans or vegetarians: Tim Van Orden, a champion road-, mountain-, snowshoe-, and stair-climb racer; John Salley, a four-time NBA champion; Brendan Brazier, an Ironman triathlete; Stan Price, world record holder for the bench press; Ridgely Abele, eight-time national karate champion; Peter Burwash, Davis Cup winner and professional tennis player; Peter Hussing, super heavy-weight boxing champion; Sixto Linares, world record holder of the 24-hour triathlon; Ben Matthews, U.S. Master’s marathon champion; Dan Millman, world champion gymnast; Paavo Nurmi, long-distance runner winner and nine-time Olympic medalist and twenty-time world-record holder; Bill Pickering, world record holding swimmer; Sushil Kumar, Olympic bronze medalist wrestler; Chris Campbell, Olympic wrestling champion; Keith Holmes, world-champion middleweight boxer; Bill Mannetti, power lifting champion; Bill Pearl, four-time Mr. Universe; Andres Cahling, champion bodybuilder and Olympic gold medalist in the ski jump; Art Still, a Hall of Famer and MVP defensive end for the NFL; Ricky Williams, NFL running back; Ricardo Moreira, Ultimate Fighter; Chris Price, Muay Thai and mixed martial arts fighter; Kenneth Williams, professional bodybuilder; Jake Shields, mixed martial arts champion; Jerry Stackhouse; NBA player; Prince Fielder, MLB player; Tony Gonzalez, NFL player; Salim Stoudamire, NBA player; Desmond Howard, NFL player; Mac Danzig, UFC Champion; Pat Neshak, MLB player; Scott Jurek, ultramarathon champion; Robert Cheeke, an International Natural Bodybuilding Association and International Natural Bodybuilding & Fitness Federation bodybuilder; Dave Scott, six-time Ironman winner; Murray Rose, Olympic swimmer with six medals; Al Oerter, four-time gold medalist discus thrower; Edwin Moses, two-time gold medalist hurdler; and Olympic star Carl Lewis, who said his best year on the track was the year he adopted a vegan diet. Vegetarian athletes (and civilians) are constantly praising their plant-based diets for giving them more energy than they’ve ever had before.

So whether you’re a professional athlete, or extremely active and looking to bulk up, or you’re just the average Joe looking to meet your daily protein quota, where should this protein come from? Like any average American, your brain probably went back to the muscle-head at the gym, and you likely thought, “I need to get X grams of protein a day. I’ll just eat more chicken, meat, or fish.” (Notice we left dairy and eggs off that list.

If you still want to consume eggs or dairy products after that last chapter, we’re gonna kick your fat ass.) Somehow, we’ve all been conditioned into thinking (dairy, eggs), chicken, meat, and fish are the only foods in existence that have protein. However, this is simply not the case. And it’s a good thing, because these foods present multiple health risks.

Just. Plain. Gross.

For starters, according to the USDA, 86 percent of all food poisoning is caused by animal foods. There are all sorts of gross things you can get from eating meat, chicken, eggs, and fish (or from foods that touch these foods). You’ve all heard of salmonella, but how about campylobacter? Well, Consumer Reports tested store-bought broiler chickens nationwide and found salmonella and/or campylobacter contamination in nearly half of them, including those from organic, free-range, and kosher producers! You can also get salmonella from raw or undercooked eggs or products containing them. If you do get salmonella, be on the lookout for diarrhea, arthritis, colon damage, and the Grim Reaper. E. coli is no picnic, either, and can be caught by ingesting raw dairy products or improperly cooked meat.

Just so you know, the presence of E. coli is an indicator of fecal contamination. How’d you like a side of shit with those fries? A USDA study found detectable levels of E. coli in more than 99 percent of store-bought broiler chickens! Once infected, a person can expect bloody diarrhea and possibly even renal failure. Oh, but don’t worry. Processors spray chicken carcasses with disinfectant—inside and out. (Gag! How’d you like a can of Lysol with those wings?) Sex, Drugs, and Factory Farms.

Well, even if we do get food poisoning, we can just take medicine, right? Hmm. Of the ten billion land animals slaughtered for food each year in America, almost all come from factory farms. Factory farms that raise cattle, pigs, chickens, egg-laying hens, veal calves, or dairy cows keep an enormous number of animals in a very small space. (For example, a chicken shed can have 30,000–50,000 chickens confined, each with less space than a standard sheet of paper.) Egglaying hens are crammed into cages so small they are unable to spread even one wing. Pigs and cows are kept in stalls so small they are unable to turn around or lie down. Broiler chickens are crowded so tightly into warehouse-type structures that they often peck or trample each other to death. Animals live in the filth of their own urine, feces, and vomit with infected, festering sores and wounds. To keep them alive in these unsanitary conditions, factory farmers give animals massive amounts of antibiotics. But they don’t sort through ten billion animals to see who’s sick and might need it. They give it to all of them. Penicillin, tetracycline, and countless other antibiotics are routinely administered. When we eat the flesh of these animals, we’re eating these antibiotics. This overuse of antibiotics leads to the development of new antibiotic-resistant bacterial strains. Meaning, due to the abuse of antibiotics by factory farmers, new bacterial strains are forming (gross) and the antibiotics we’d normally take to combat them are rendered ineffective (scary). One USDA study found 67 percent of chicken and 66 percent of beef to be contaminated with “superbugs” that couldn’t be killed by antibiotics. Nasty. No wonder the European Union wants nothing to do with our meat. They only allow four antibiotics to be used on their livestock, none of which are used in human health care. Does Lady Liberty have any restrictions like these? Nope. Our country allows farmers to feed the most toxic form of arsenic to broiler chickens. You heard us. It’s legal to feed arsenic to broiler chickens (to kill parasites and promote growth). Apparently, the USDA and FDA don’t mind that researchers found arsenic residue in chicken at 100 percent of fastfood restaurants and 50 percent of supermarkets investigated.

Actually, there’s arsenic in most American meat, but there’s four times as much in chicken as in other meats. Gnarly.

On factory farms, animals are raised in the smallest quarters possible where they’re “grown” as large as possible to inflate the profit margin as much as possible. In addition to antibiotics and arsenic, anabolic steroids are routinely administered to the animals. It’s been reported that approximately 99 percent of commercially raised cattle is treated with growth hormones! When we eat their flesh, we’re eating the growth hormones. No wonder Americans are struggling with weight problems—we’re ingesting growth hormones on a regular basis.

And no wonder reproductive cancers have skyrocketed since the 1950s—breast cancer has increased by 55 percent, testicular cancer has gone up by 120 percent, and prostate cancer has increased 190 percent! In addition to antibiotics and steroids, growth-promoting sex hormones are also given to farm animals routinely. For more than a decade, the FDA has allowed farmers to implant hormonal agents in the ears of cows. These include—but are in no way limited to—testosterone (male hormone), estradiol and progesterone (female hormones), and norgestomet (a synthetic progestin). By the way, the estrogen estradiol is one of the most commonly used hormones for fattening cows. And it’s a potent carcinogen. S-c-a-r-y. Even scarier: A USDA survey of feedlots found that nearly half the cows had illegally misplaced implants in their muscle tissue, as opposed to their ears. (Let us add that the statistic represents the implants that were visibly misplaced. The actual percentage could’ve been well above half.) These hormones can contribute to estrogen dominance, which, in women, has been linked to endometriosis; fibroids; and breast, ovarian, and cervical cancer. In men, estrogen dominance can cause prostate and testicular cancer, and even “male menopause.” Don’t laugh. Male menopause can include symptoms like impotence, testicular atrophy, breast growth, fatigue, depression, and reduction or loss of sex drive. Who’s at the highest risk for male menopause? Those who worked on poultry farms, implanting chickens and turkeys with estrogen pellets! You do the math.

Mad Cow Disease, Chemicals . When Does It End? Unfortunately, hormone use is not the only area the United States is lacking in regarding meat safety issues. In Japan, 100 percent of cattle slaughtered for human consumption is tested for mad cow disease. Here, we test approximately .05714 percent. (For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that’s way less than one percent!) Former Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns admitted that testing is not done to protect consumers from mad cow disease, but rather to discern the disease’s prevalence. How reassuring. Hmm, we wonder if that’s why 65 nations have full or partial restrictions on importing our beef. It could be that. Or it could be that the FDA approved the spraying of live viruses onto meat and poultry products (to combat listeria). Yeah, the spray contains six different viral strains, and meat companies aren’t obligated to inform customers which products have been sprayed.

Unfortunately, even if the USDA and FDA implemented bans on hormones, steroids, and antibiotics, our meat would still be contaminated with toxic chemicals. Here’s how it works—Pesticides 101, Pesticides are used on crops to prevent bugs and weeds from destroying them. If it’s a crop grown for us to eat, we wash them off, getting rid of some of the chemicals. If it’s a crop used to feed animals, the pesticides are not washed off. And unlike crops grown for us to eat, crops grown for animals to eat have no limits on the amount of pesticides that can be used. More than 1.5 billion pounds of pesticides are used each year in this country! And approximately 80 percent are used on the four major animal-feed crops. P. S. Pesticides are also sprayed directly onto the animals themselves to ward off parasites, insects, rodents, and fungi. So, you can see, the animals we’re ingesting are subject to major pesticide ingestion and exposure for their entire lives. And when we ingest the animals, we’re ingesting the pesticides, too. What you can’t see is that the animals store these pesticides in their fat tissue and cells. So when you eat meat, you’re ingesting a higher amount of pesticides than you would if you ate the pesticide-treated food directly.

And unfortunately, pesticides aren’t all we’re getting. Herbicides, industrial wastes, PCBs, BFRs, BDFEs—they’re polluting our waterways and affecting our food supply. But again, the fatty tissues of animals attract and concentrate these chemicals—“bio-accumulation.” And as all these environmental pollutants move up the food chain, they’re concentrated even more—“biomagnification.” So a corn crop may have a specific amount of toxic residue in it. Then a cow, chicken, or pig eats the corn and absorbs a larger amount of toxic residue. Then a human eats the cow, chicken, or pig and absorbs an even larger amount of toxic residue.

Just one of these chemicals on its own would be scary enough. But the abundance and complex interaction of so many can wreak havoc on the endocrine, hormonal, neurological, immunological, and reproductive systems.

Something’s Fishy.

Sadly, our waters aren’t any better; they too are alarmingly polluted. So eating fish (or other seafood) is just as dangerous as eating meat. Their flesh also accumulates and absorbs chemical pollutants, like mercury, organochlorides, PCBs, and others. It works like this: Chemical levels in water may be low enough to receive passing grades from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). But the chemical concentration in algae can increase by up to 250. When the zooplankton eats the algae, the concentration can double. When the tiny shrimp eat the zooplankton, the concentration can be 45,000 times higher. By the time the little fish eat the shrimp, and the big fish eat the little fish, and we eat the big fish, we’re looking at a concentration 25 million times that which was found in the water! Don’t be thinking “farm-raised” fish are clean and pure. The feed given to farm-raised salmon has high levels of chemical pollutants, making them practically toxic in comparison with ocean-caught fish (which you now know are polluted). Farmed salmon are fed artificial dyes to make them appear pink like wild salmon, instead of the unnatural, murky gray color they actually are.

Yes, some fish contain beneficial omega-3 fatty acids, but you can get those from foods that aren’t laden with heavy metals, toxins, saturated fat and cholesterol. So even though omega-3s are hearthealthy, a recent study in the British Medical Journal reported that eating fish did not have a beneficial effect on heart health.

However, a study in the American Journal of Cardiology praised walnuts’ positive effect on arteries—unsurprising since walnuts are rich in omega-3s, cholesterol-free, and low in saturated fat.

(Other nuts, leafy greens, and flax seeds are also good sources of omega-3s.) Friggin’ Protein.

Whether it’s milk, cheese, eggs, chicken, pork, beef, or fish, animal foods are the only ones that have cholesterol. They also contain a less than ideal fat profile. And that’s in addition to all the bacteria, hormones, steroids, pesticides, chemical pollutants, and antibiotics! Um, so why do we eat them—for protein? Yep, basically, we risk heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and all sorts of cancers because we’ve been brainwashed into thinking these are the only foods with protein. But you now know we can easily obtain adequate protein by eating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes. And it just so happens that those foods have a variety of health benefits, too! Again, eat all types of beans, peas, lentils, nuts, and seeds; breads and pastas made from whole grains; bulgur; millet; barley; quinoa; buckwheat; oats; amaranth; brown rice; potatoes; sweet potatoes; broccoli; kale; asparagus; avocados, soybeans; tofu —the list is endless, really. Fruits. Veggies.

Legumes. Nuts. Seeds. Whole grains. All sources of protein.

And contrary to popular belief (surprise, surprise), meat is not the only “complete” protein. Meaning, soybeans also have all the amino acids our bodies can’t produce on their own. But even if you don’t eat soy, you can get all the aminos by eating a variety of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. And it doesn’t have to be in one sitting. As long as you’re eating a variety of foods from those food groups, you’re getting all the aminos you need! Another common myth that has been debunked is the “food combining” theory. Animal flesh proteins are “complete,” meaning they contain all nine essential amino acids in amounts similar to those found in human flesh. Plants have all these amino acids, too, just in slightly different amounts. It was previously believed that to create complete proteins from vegetarian foods, you needed to combine them in specific ways. For example, it was said rice and beans had to be eaten together to maximize their protein potential. However, it is now known that eating a variety of foods from plant sources provides all the building blocks we need. Further, the microorganisms and recycled cells in our intestinal tracts make complete proteins for us. All we have to do is eat healthy, balanced diets.

The Soy Saga.

Will soymilk give you man-boobs? Do men have wittle wee-wees because they eat tofu? There’s so much madness surrounding soy, it’s hard to know what the real “truth” is. Soy supporters claim it can do everything—lower cholesterol, reduce heart disease, and decrease risk of multiple cancers. Opponents claim it can depress thyroid function, cause cancer, and negatively affect sperm. Here’s what we know to be “pro-soy true”: * Soybeans are “complete proteins,” meaning they contain the essential amino acids our bodies don’t manufacture.

* Calorie for calorie, soybeans have twice as much protein as red meat and cheese, and ten times more protein than whole milk.

* Soybeans are a good source of omega-3 fatty acids.

* Soybeans have more iron, calcium, phosphorous, and B vitamins than eggs.

* The majority of studies claiming soy has negative effects were conducted on animals. And animal tests are simply unreliable indicators, as the biology of each species varies greatly. (Cases in point: Thalidomide tested safe in animals, but caused horrendous birth defects in children. Diet phenom “fen-phen” tested safe in animals, but caused heart abnormalities in humans. Arthritis drug Opren tested safe in animals but killed humans!) * Entire civilizations have been eating soy for thousands of years without any ill effects and, in fact, have lower instances of cancer and heart disease.

Here’s what we know to be “anti-soy true”: * None of these civilizations have been eating as much soy as we eat now.

* None of these civilizations have been eating soy in so many highly processed forms. They’ve been eating tofu, tempeh, miso, and actual soybeans. Here and now, we have soy “meats,” “cheeses,” “ice creams,” and even supplements. And soybean oil makes its way into a multitude of processed foods.

* Soy is one of the most commonly genetically engineered crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be eating soybeans that have been genetically manipulated.

* Soy is one of the highest pesticide-yielding crops around. So unless you’re buying organic, you might be getting a hefty dose of pesticides.

So what’s all the drama about? Basically, it centers on isoflavones and phytoestrogens, chemical compounds found in soybeans (and other plant foods, too). Because isoflavones and phytoestrogens structurally resemble human estrogens, their safety has been questioned.

However, anti-soy studies use an isolated, concentrated amount of soy isoflavones that exceed what a person would consume. And again, the studies showing negative effects are conducted on animals, who metabolize soy differently than we do. (Case in point: Humans can eat chocolate without incidence. However, chocolate can be fatal when ingested by dogs.) In addition, when you extract certain components of many foods and test them in isolation, they can be harmful. But when eaten as part of whole foods in normal-sized servings, they are perfectly safe. Mushrooms, broccoli, lentils, grapefruits, peanuts, spinach, chard, and celery are all examples of this. Broccoli, lentils, and grapefruit have naturally occurring pesticides, which, if you extracted and ate in their concentrated forms in high doses, can cause mutations. Mushrooms contain carcinogens. Peanuts can harbor traces of aflatoxin, cancer-causing substances. Spinach and chard contain an acid that can diminish calcium absorption. And celery has toxins that can damage the immune system. But these are all healthy foods. And the sums of all their parts offer protection from the potential dangers of one or two individual components. It’s when we start tinkering with their chemistry that we see “dangers.” So it isn’t surprising to see breast cancer cells in mice who are dosed with a thousand milligrams of soy isoflavones.

Another common accusation is that soy has a negative impact on thyroid function. However, only one adult human study conducted in Japan over fifteen years ago has concluded that. (And betterdesigned and more recent studies done in the United States did not support those findings.) Every day for three months straight, seventeen people were fed thirty grams of pickled, roasted soybeans. Half of these participants experienced either an enlargement of the thyroid or a hypothyroidism symptom, like fatigue or constipation. Do eight or nine people (some experiencing only fatigue or constipation) prove that soy has a negative effect on thyroid function? So a lot of the negative hype around soy is bullshit. Does that mean soy is the wonder bean and will cure baldness, burn fat, and make your wang-doodle bigger? We have no idea. And we’re not interested in delving deeper into any research that makes these claims. In our humble opinions based on research we trust, moderate consumption of soy products is safe. Do we eat ten servings a day? No. Do we take soy supplements? No. Do we add soy powders to our smoothies? No. Do we use soy as a wonder food or drug? No. But do we eat soy products? Yep.

We’re not medical researchers or epidemiologists, so we’ll understand if our humble opinions don’t mean shit to you. According to health expert Dr. Andrew Weil, “There is still much to be learned about soy, but the majority of research so far has shown that it’s a safe and nutritious food when eaten in reasonable amounts—about one or two daily servings.” And even though countless other doctors, medical researchers, and epidemiologists also feel moderate consumption of soy products is safe, their opinions may not mean shit to you, either. Good! You’re questioning authority and taking matters into your own hands! We encourage you to think for yourself and make your own decisions. (Or let your nag-ass wife decide for you.) If you’re still not sure about soy, do your own research and decide for yourself, especially if you or your family members have thyroid problems or breast cancer. Knowledge is self-power. Kowtowing to your doctor without doing your own homework is just plain lazy. But be prepared to dig deep for the truth. Some pro-soy medical studies are paid for by the soy industry. Some anti-soy medical studies are paid for by the dairy and meat industries.

If you decide to eat soy products, know that these foods may not taste exactly like the real thing. But once you get rid of your meat addiction, you’ll be satisfied with the substitutes. You just need to spend a few weeks (and dollars) experimenting until you find the ones you like. Veggie burgers exist by the dozen. Health Is Wealth makes fake buffalo wings that taste so good, your pubes will fall out.

Gardenburger’s flame-grilled chik’n is so amazing, you might have to kill yourself. Lightlife and Tofurky have kick-ass lines of “cold cuts” and incredible “bacon.” And Gardein has it all! Seek and ye shall find. You don’t have to look far: We list these meatless wonders in Chapter 12.

Remember to use common sense, too. In general, the more processed a food is, the less wholesome it is for you. (Like eating an apple and a handful of nuts is healthier than eating an energy bar that has apple and nuts in it.) So whole soybeans, edamame, tofu, tempeh, and miso are more nutritious than other more highly processed soy foods. But if faced with eating chicken or soy chicken, meat or soy meat, cheese or soy cheese, we’d definitely choose the soy every time.

(FYI: Many people find soy products to be excellent transitional foods for getting off meat and dairy products. Then, after a few months or even a year, they discontinue eating soy.) But also remember that it doesn’t have to be either/or. You can abstain from eating animal products and soy and still be healthy. So long as you are eating a balance of fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds every day, and following doctors’ orders for supplementing, you will thrive.

An integral part of any healthy, balanced diet is fat. Don’t cringe.

Fat doesn’t always mean fattening. Essential fatty acids provide us with energy and offer protection from heart disease, stroke, and high blood pressure. They also combat allergies, arthritis, and skin problems. Our brilliant bodies make all the essential fatty acids we need, except for two: linoleic and linolenic acids, also known as omega-3 and omega-6. These good fats are found in nuts, seeds (and their “butters”), olives, avocados, and olive oil, sesame oil, flaxseed oil, canola oil, and hempseed oil. So quit listening to all the stupid pansies who boycott nuts, oils, and avocados because they think they’re fattening. Even though they’re high in fat, they will not make you fat (unless you overdose on them). Unsaturated fats such as these are good for your body, and when eaten as part of a well-balanced vegan diet, they don’t make you fat! It’s the saturated fats found in meat, dairy, and hydrogenated oils that make you fat. Think about the source of the oils or fats and use your head. Do you think an avocado, which is a fruit, is going to turn you into a lardass? Common sense, dude.

Speaking of common sense, now that you’re totally onboard with the whole veg thing, we need to point something out to you: People are really fucking stupid when it comes to vegetarianism; they just can’t wrap their minds around it. Everyone has a preconceived notion about it and it’s really hard for them to step outside what they think they know. You will inevitably come up against one, if not all of, the following ridiculous statements: * “I knew a vegetarian once—he was fat; he ate a ton of junk food all the time.” Um, I know about a million meat-eaters who are fat and eat a ton of junk food all the time.

* “I’ve seen plenty of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking vegetarians.” Hmm...there is no shortage of pale, skinny, unhealthy-looking meat-eaters.

* “I could never give up eating meat.” Um, no one is asking you to, narcissist, I’m just telling you that I don’t eat it.

* “Oh, I wouldn’t go vegetarian; vegetarians don’t get enough protein.” Actually, they get plenty. But it’s always fascinating how people express concern about protein deficiency, as opposed to real issues, like heart disease, diabetes, and cancers—our nation’s top killers, all of which meat-eaters are more likely to encounter.

Ah, people. They can be idiots. Forgive them. They know not how dumb they are.