Skinny Bastards. Chapter 5. The Dairy Disaster.

Go suck your mother’s tits. Go on. Suck your mother’s tits.

You think this is ridiculous? It is. Get ready to use your head.

When a woman gives birth, her body produces milk, and she nurses her child. Breast milk can grow an 8-pound newborn into a 24-pound toddler. Sounds pretty fattening, huh? It is. By design, it is intended to allow for the biggest growth spurt of a person’s entire life. Breast milk alone can accommodate for a 300 percent weight gain in a twelve-month period. When her child is anywhere from 12 to 24 months old, a mother stops breastfeeding. Her milk dries up. The child will never drink breast milk ever again.

Cows, like all mammals, are much the same. Their bodies produce milk only when they give birth. Contrary to popular belief, they do not need to be milked—ever. Their udders, like women’s breasts, exist even when there is no milk in them. There is one major difference, however. Cows’ milk, by design, grows a 90-pound calf into a 2,000-pound cow over the course of two years.

It allows calves to double their birth weight in forty-seven days and leaves their four stomach chambers feeling full. Sounds even more fattening than human milk, right? It is. It should be. Cows are bigger than humans.

And the inner workings of their bodies are completely different from ours, which they should be. They are cows. We are humans. Duh.

Humans need the enzyme lactase to digest lactose (the sugar found in dairy). However, between the ages of 18 months and 4 years, we lose 90 to 95 percent of this enzyme. The undigested lactose and the acidic nature of pasteurized milk encourage the growth of bacteria in our intestines.

All this contributes to a greater risk of cancer because cancer cells thrive in acidic conditions.

Got mucus? Dairy products produce mucus and often, the body will develop a cold or “allergies” to fight the dairy invasion.

Mother Nature is no fool. All species, including ours, have just what we need to get by. She did not intend for grownups to suck their mothers’ tits. We don’t need our mothers’ milk as adults, just like grown cows don’t need their mothers’ milk anymore. We are the only species on the planet that drinks milk as adults. We are also the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species. We could be putting gorilla milk on our cereal or having zebra milk and cookies.

Why cows’ milk? Using the animal that produces the largest quantity of milk but is more easily housed than an elephant means more money for farmers. It has nothing to do with health or nutrition. Again, it all comes back to money. The dairy industry is a multibillion-dollar industry based on brilliant marketing and the addictive taste of milk, butter, and cheese. It has convinced most doctors, dieticians, consumers, and government agencies that we need cows’ milk.

Bone Loss, Cancer, and Illness, Oh My! We have been told our whole lives, “You need milk to grow.

Without milk, your bones will break. If you don’t drink milk, you’ll get osteoporosis. You need the calcium.” Bullshit.

The Harvard Nurses’ Health Study followed more than 72,000 women over the course of twelve years. And guess what? Milk was not shown to have a protective effect on bones! Researchers at Yale did a study using thirty-four surveys from sixteen countries found in twenty-nine research publications. They reported the same findings.

Americans are among the top consumers of dairy products in the world. So if dairy does what the dairy industry claims, we should have among the lowest rates of osteoporosis in the world, right? According to The Journal of Gerontology, American women over fifty have among the highest rates of hip fractures in the world.

The only countries with higher rates are those that consume more milk! (Sorry for the girl-talk here. Because men have larger, stronger bones than women, you have a better likelihood of avoiding osteoporosis.

So while it does exist in men, it’s just more prevalent in women, hence the better-developed studies. But don’t go celebrating: 2 million men have it, 12 million are at risk, and countless more cases are unreported or undiagnosed.) There is a very clear and strong association between bone fracture rates and the consumption of animal protein.

If you’re not outraged, you aren’t paying attention. The whole reason we douse ourselves with dairy is because it “strengthens bones.” But scientific studies show that it does the exact opposite! If you aren’t seething mad right now, check your pulse.

You’ve been living a lie your whole life so that a few people could make money! (P. S. Consuming high amounts of dairy blocks iron absorption, contributing to iron deficiency.) Cows’ milk has one of the lowest absorption rates of all calcium sources.

One reason is its high protein content. A study showed vegans (people who abstain from animal products, including dairy) and omnivores having the same blood levels of calcium, even though the omnivores ingested twice as much calcium.

Yes, milk is high in calcium, but it’s not an efficient source for it. Remember in Chapter Three when we talked about how sugar creates an acidic environment in the body? Well, so do dairy products. And this acidity causes an excretion of calcium in the urine.

Loss of calcium . . . osteoporosis.

According to The China Study’s Dr. T. Colin Campbell, dairy can be blamed for all sorts of madness. Dr. Campbell attended Cornell on a PhD scholarship, authored more than three hundred research papers, and has four decades of high-level research experience. So The China Study is, um, a little more intellectual than our book. It’s basically the most comprehensive study of diet and nutrition ever con ducted in history—spanning over twenty years time; citing from more than 750 references; and partnering Cornell University, Oxford University, and the Chinese Academy of Preventative Medicine. So what does this Holy Grail of nutrition say about dairy? That it can cause heart disease; diabetes; obesity; osteoporosis; kidney stones; cataracts; macular degeneration; multiple sclerosis; Alzheimer’s; and prostate, colon, and rectal cancer! Dairy products have been linked to a host of other problems, too, including acne, anemia, anxiety, arthritis, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, fibromyalgia, headaches, heartburn, indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome, joint pain, poor immune function, and ovarian cancer.

(Tell the ladies in your life.) Please, read this list again. Slowly. Let each one sink in. Are you pissed now? Understandably, life is busy and you may not take the time to read The China Study right now. Well at some point soon, you really, really should. It’s absolutely the most compelling, well-researched, in-depth book on nutrition we’ve ever come across. In the meantime, we’re gonna give you just one of the many pertinent Cliff’s Notes of The China Study: Dr. Campbell started a laboratory program to investigate protein’s role in the development of cancer. Eventually, due to his diligent, precise, and careful practices, his research received funding for an extraordinary twenty-seven years from the National Institute of Health, the American Cancer Society, and the American Institute for Cancer Research (among others). In this time, he discovered that protein did indeed have an effect on cancer. “What protein consistently and strongly promoted cancer? Casein, which makes up 87 percent of cow’s milk protein, promoted all stages of the cancer process.”131 There are three stages of cancer he’s referring to: initiation, promotion, and progression. Dr. Campbell likens the stages to planting a lawn. “Initiation is when you put the seeds in the soil, promotion is when the grass starts to grow, and progression is when the grass gets completely out of control, invading the driveway, the shrubbery, and the sidewalk.” Chemical carcinogens (byproducts of industrial processes) are usually what initiate normal cells to transform or mutate into cancer-prone cells. Promotion is when the cells “multiply until they become a visibly detectable cancer.” And progression occurs when the cancer cells grow and spread.

Let us repeat: Casein, a milk protein, promoted all three stages of cancer growth. Incredibly interesting: His studies showed that exposure to toxic chemicals initiated cancer growth. But the cancer remained dormant and wasn’t of issue.

However, with the introduction of casein (milk protein), all that changed.

According to two major Harvard studies, men who drink milk have a 30–60 percent greater cancer risk then those who avoid dairy.

And not just any cancer, but cancer of the co-co-co-cock. Prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in American men.

And one of the most consistent, specific links between diet and prostate cancer is dairy.

Honestly, if you aren’t seeing red now, you’re a lost cause.

Please go back and reread Dr. Campbell’s credentials and the background information about The China Study once more.

Acknowledge that The China Study isn’t some hole-filled, half baked, fluff piece, but that it’s the real deal. Now get on board.

Seriously. This is no joke. This is literally a matter of life and death.

Do not dismiss this information just because it seems outlandish and hard to believe. Or just because your doctors and schoolteachers told you otherwise. According to a Senate investigation, doctors receive less than three hours of nutritional training in medical school! And unsuspecting teachers are puppets whose strings are pulled by the dairy industry. The dairy industry is a for-profit, commercial business, just like Pepsi or McDonald’s. Imagine, however, if Pepsi or McDonald’s were allowed to provide schools with educational materials regarding nutrition. Unimaginable, right? Because more than likely, soda and Big Macs would be touted as important dietary staples. It’d probably sound a little something like this: “Pepsi has water in it, and it’s vital to drink eight glasses of water a day. Big Macs are high in protein, and protein is an important component of any diet.” We’d never stand for that, right? But we stand for the dairy industry—a for-profit enterprise—providing lesson plans, educational kits, posters, videos, and teaching guides to thousands of schools! And we allow them to sell milk at practically every school in the country! Doctors and teachers aren’t dimwits or villains. They’re just like the rest of us. It has been so ingrained into each one of us that “milk does a body good,” that no one would ever think to question it. (Last chance to prove you’re alive and well . . . swear your ass off, please!) And because we’ve all been brainwashed, our children suffer.

According to the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM), “Insulin-dependent diabetes (Type 1 or childhood-onset) is linked to consumption of dairy products. Epidemiological studies of various countries show a strong correlation between the use of dairy products and the incidence of insulin-dependent diabetes.

Researchers in 1992 found that a specific dairy protein sparks an autoimmune reaction, which is believed to be what destroys the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas.” A Tall Glass of Bovine Growth Hormone.

Let’s pretend for a moment that cows’ milk is healthy for humans.

Even if it were—it’s not—but even if it were, it would only be healthy in its purest, unadulterated form. Just like human breast milk is. But we sure as hell don’t consume cows’ milk in its purest, unadulterated form. Nowadays, cows are injected with bovine growth hormone (BGH). (BGH milk is also referred to as rBGH—recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone or GE—genetically engineered.) Fifty years ago, the average milk production rate of a cow was 2,000 pounds a year. Today, the top producers provide up to 50,000 pounds a year! This is far from natural. (Imagine if your wife just gave birth and was injected with some crazy-ass hormone that made her boobs produce twenty-five times more milk than they would on their own.) Dr. Samuel Epstein, professor emeritus of Environmental and Occupational Medicine at the School of Public Health at the University of Illinois at Chicago, has authored or coauthored thirteen books, published nearly three hundred peer-reviewed scientific articles, and is the leading international expert on BGH. He’s also an internationally recognized authority on the mechanisms of carcinogenesis, the causes and prevention of cancer, and the toxic and carcinogenic effects of environmental pollutants. (And he has, like, a million letters after his name: MD, DPath., DTM&H.) Dr. Epstein literally wrote “the book” on BGH: What’s in Your Milk?141 The beginning of his BGH journey started with a phone call he received from an angry farmer in 1989. The farmer was involved in the secret testing trials for BGH, and he wanted any scientific information avail able on the hormone. When Dr. Epstein admitted a lack of knowledge about the hormone, the farmer responded angrily to the effect of, “If it makes my cows sick, their milk will also make people sick. So it’s damn well your job to find out.” So Dr. Epstein began his inquiry. Six months later, he received a package that was sent anonymously. Its contents appeared to be records stolen directly from the FDA files—confidential data from BGH trials. And they included information that had been previously undisclosed, revealing a wide range of serious veterinary dangers associated with BGH.

You shouldn’t be surprised to learn that the shit surrounding BGH is every bit as shady as aspartame’s. Especially because Monsanto, the same company that owned NutraSweet, is the giant behind BGH. (BGH is sold to farmers under the trade name POSILAC.) Dr. Epstein sent copies of the incriminating documents to Congressman John Conyers, who publicly stated, “Monsanto and the FDA have chosen to suppress and manipulate animal health test data . . . in efforts to approve commercial use of rBGH.”. Both Monsanto and the FDA knowingly and falsely claimed that: * There is no difference between milk from BGH cows and untreated cows.

Um, bullshit. According to Dr. Epstein, “GE milk is entirely different from natural milk: nutritionally, bio chemically, pharmacologically, and immunologically.”145 * BGH is harmless to cows.

Um, bullshit again. Its own package insert lists sixteen harmful health effects! And studies showed that cows treated with BGH had chronic inflammation of internal organs, ulcerating injection site reactions, and deep carcass damage. Almost half the injected cows became infertile! And the majority suffered from anemia and chronic mastitis—a bacterial infection resulting from inflamed udders. So what does all this mean? Cows injected with BGH are also treated with antibiotics and other drugs, many unapproved and illegal. During a single lactation period, one cow received 120 drug treatments! All lactating mammals excrete toxins through their milk, including hormones, antibiotics, pesticides, and chemicals.

So when you consume dairy products from cows treated with BGH, you’re ingesting all that shit, too! By the way, remember, approximately 70 percent of all the antibiotics made in the United States each year are administered to farm animals, causing antibiotic resistance in humans.

* BGH milk is safe for human consumption.


Triple dose of bullshit! BGH milk has high levels of Insulin Growth Factor (IGF-1), which has been consistently linked to breast, colon, and prostate cancers.

You should be so worked up right now that you’re almost spitting blood. We’re all being killed slowly so people can shove fistfuls of green fucking paper in their greedy-ass pockets. BGH milk is banned in Australia, New Zealand, all of the European Union, Canada, Japan, and every other industrialized country in the world. Both the World Trade Organization and the United Nations Food Standards Body refuse to endorse the hormone’s safety.

But BGH is legal here, in the United States. It’s so baffling that we’re supposed to be one of the most advanced nations in the world.

Pus, Chemicals, or Both?.

Got pus? In factory farms, there is no gentle farmer milking cows with a bucket between his feet. Clamps are attached to cows’ udders and cows are milked by machine. (Ask your wife how she’d like having clamps attached to her boobs immediately after giving birth.) The udders become sore and infected. Pus forms. But the machines keep on milking, sucking the dead white blood cells into the milk. In the good old’ U.S. of A., we have the highest allowable upper limit of pus concentration in the world—almost double the international standard.

Instead of saying, “It’s as American as apple pie,” we can start saying, “It’s as American as pus in your milk!” Yeehaw! Oh yeah, we’re not done yet. To get rid of all the pus, bacteria, and other grossness, milk has to be pasteurized. (Meaning, they gotta boil the hell out of it.) So even if cows’ milk were good for humans—it isn’t—this process destroys beneficial enzymes, makes calcium less available, and creates radioactive particles.

Pus and radioactive particles aren’t the only dangers lurking in your milk. Oh no, batting third is dioxin, a known human carcinogen.

Dioxins are unintentional by-products from industrial practices (like chemical manufacturing, metal refining, combustion, etc.). They get released into the air and then they settle into water (affecting the fish) and onto grasslands (affecting the cattle that graze there). Dioxin gets readily absorbed into the flesh of the animals exposed to it. So when we eat the animals’ flesh or consume the milk of the animals, we get exposed to dioxin.

PCBs are other sinister chemicals that accumulate in fat. Even though PCBs have been banned in the United States for more than twenty years, they still persist in our environment and will continue to contaminate our meat and dairy for many years.

We’re still going. Brominated flame retardants (BFRs) resemble PCBs chemically. Research suggests that BFRs have adverse affects on the brain, liver, and reproductive system, and on thyroid function.

Where do these BFR bad boys accumulate? Animal-based foods.

A more specific class of BFRs is polybrominated diphenyl ethers (PBDEs). It’s suggested that PBDE exposure in the United States is among the highest in the world. Flame retardants used in household items pollute our environment. Farm animals and fish absorb these pollutants. When we eat their flesh or drink their milk, we’re exposed.

Dirty Secrets, Leukemia, and a Whole Lot of Drama.

Wish we were done, but we need to talk about Johne’s disease. Oh, wait, you’ve never heard of it? Of course you haven’t. Because Johne’s ,pronounced yo-Neez) disease is “something that farmers talk about secretly—whisper behind hands.”161 One dairy scientist calls it the “whispering campaign,” and stated he had never heard a frank, open discussion about it.

One dairy farmer referred to Johne’s as “a dirty word. It’s like AIDS—you don’t talk about it.”163 When the USDA released a report on 2,500 dairy producers in 1997, they estimated that up to 40 percent of those dairy herds were infected. (They also conceded that it was likely an underestimate.) Health experts correlate the high rate of Johne’s disease in cattle with the growing epidemic of Crohn’s disease in humans.

How is it transmitted? People suffering from Crohn’s disease suffer from uncontrollable diarrhea. And apparently, cows with Johne’s disease suffer the same affliction. (Get your barf bag handy.) The diarrhea can come shooting out of the cow in liquid form. And because her butt is so close to her udders, poo gets on her udders. And unless someone takes the time to wash and clean the udders of every cow before every milking, the infected fecal matter makes its way into the milk.

Bonus: Within that poo, there can be as many as one trillion Para tuberculosis bugs per gram.

Surprise, surprise: The good old U.S. of A. has the highest incidence of Crohn’s disease in the world.

Hey, instead of, “It’s as American as pus in your milk,” it can be, “It’s as American as poopy milk and Crohn’s disease.” Unless we want to change it to, “It’s as American as leukemia.” The bovine leukemia virus involves about 80 percent of dairy herds! The virus can be killed if the milk is pasteurized and pasteurized correctly. But sometimes milk is sold “raw.” In a study of randomly collected raw samples, the virus was detected in two thirds! Now you’re probably thinking, “Oh, phew. I don’t buy raw milk products.” But what if the milk you do buy isn’t pasteurized correctly? Or what if the milk processing plant has an accidental “cross contamination” between raw and pasteurized milk? Not surprisingly, states with known leukemic dairy herds have higher rates of human leukemia.

Yes, we are saying many scientists in the medical research field know that dairy is bad for you. Yes, we are saying many executives in the dairy industry are well aware of this fact but make claims that milk “does a body good.” How do they get away with this? Easily.

They spend hundreds of millions of dollars every year to market their products. And average consumers don’t spend their time perusing medical journals, but they do read magazines and watch television.

What about medical doctors? Why do they believe that milk is beneficial? It is a sad fact that in this country, most doctors know almost nothing about nutrition. Remember, doctors receive very little nutritional training in medical school.

They have been duped like the rest of us.

But don’t the government and U.S. Department of Agriculture protect us from all this? Hell no. Sickeningly high levels of pesticides found in dairy meet government standards. Records from the Food and Drug Administration show that “virtually 100 percent of the cheese products produced and sold in the United States has detectable pesticide residues.”173 By the way, don’t think you can worm your way out of the dairy drama by eating “low-fat” dairy products. They’re still made from cows’ milk, so they’re just as pus-y, grody, and contaminated. Not to mention they can have a relative overburden of protein and lactose.

Too much protein can tax the kidneys and leach calcium from the bones.

And undigested lactose encourages the growth of bacteria in our intestines.

Gross.

Organic Dairy Sucks.

Sorry, but organic dairy products aren’t much better. You’ve let the dairy industry dupe you long enough. Don’t dupe yourself. Don’t allow your addiction to cheese or your outdated beliefs con you that organic dairy is some clean, pure, magical entity. These products may be free of the chemical pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics, but they too can have fecal matter and pus. And in case you forgot everything you just read in this chapter: The consumption of dairy has been linked to heart disease; diabetes; obesity; osteoporosis; kidney stones; cataracts; macular degeneration; multiple sclerosis; Alzheimer’s; and prostate, colon, rectal, and breast cancer.

Use your head! Cow’s milk is for baby cows; it is not good for humans! (Even if it were, how would you like it if right after your wife gave birth someone snatched your baby away, stuck him in a veal crate, attached clamps to your wife’s nipples, milked her, and then sold the milk for profit? The fact that they are “just” cows doesn’t make it any less cruel or sadistic.) It’s all too unbelievable, right? We know. But bear in mind, we have nothing to gain by telling you all this. In fact, we’ve got everything to lose. The billion-dollar dairy industry is so rich and powerful, they could sue us for everything we have. (Remember when the cattle ranchers sued Oprah, unsuccessfully, for publicly disparaging beef?) It would cost them next to nothing, but the legal fees alone would bankrupt us in minutes. We’re risking our own livelihoods to tell you this.

So don’t be skeptical of us, like we’re trying to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge. You’ve already bought the book, so whether you believe us or not doesn’t add any money to our coffers. We’re telling you this, and hoping you’ll believe it, because it’s true. And because we can’t bear that anyone would eat or drink this poison! Um, What’s the Point of Milk, Again? Okay, so you know you don’t need milk for calcium, but what about vitamin D? Well, milk can’t be trusted for that, either! According to PCRM, “Samplings of milk have found a significant variation of vitamin D content, with some samplings having had as much as 500 times the indicated level, while others had little or none at all.” FYI: Too much vitamin D can be toxic! But it’s been report ed that “vitamin D is routinely added to milk ‘above and beyond’ the legal requirements.”179 Don’t get us wrong—vitamin D is important.

It aids in calcium and phosphorous absorption. But you don’t need to play Russian roulette with cows’ milk to get it. Just get off your ass, open your door, and go outside. The body makes vitamin D when the skin is exposed to the sun! How cool is that? (Depending on your skin tone and locale, you just need five to twenty minutes of sun a day, two to seven days a week, on your face and hands.) However, be advised that many people don’t get enough sunlight due to their lifestyles.

And that sunscreen that protects against skin cancer also blocks the rays needed to make vitamin D. So be sure to eat vitamin D-fortified foods, like cereals, rice and soymilks, or talk to your doctor about popping a vegan vitamin D supplement (go to your local health food store or visit vegetarianvitamin.com or veganessentials.com).

Milk is not a reliable source of minerals, either. You get much higher levels of manganese, chromium, selenium, and magnesium from fruits and vegetables. Fruits and veggies are also high in boron, which helps lessen the loss of calcium through urine. Consuming high amounts of dairy blocks iron absorption, contributing to iron deficiency.

Just eat a variety of colorful fruits and veggies and snack on raw nuts and seeds every day. Minerals are more absorbable from these sources than from milk.

Yes, milk is high in calcium, but the calcium is not as absorbable as it is in plant foods. Note the calcium absorbability of the following foods, according to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition: Brussels sprouts . . .63.8 percent.

Broccoli = 52.6 percent.

Kale = 50 percent.

Cow’s milk = 2 percent.

Calcium is naturally abundant in and most readily absorbed from leafy greens (kale, mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens, Swiss chard), bok choy, cabbage, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, okra, watercress, legumes, chickpeas, red beans, soybeans, almonds, sesame seeds, and sea vegetables (like seaweed). It can also be easily attained from fortified orange juice, apple juice, soymilk, rice milk, cereal, and calcium-processed tofu. And these foods don’t come laden with fat, cholesterol, and a harmful excess of protein. These foods are nothing but good for ya. (Also, FYI, cows’ milk is allowed to have 80 friggin’ antibiotics in it! Eighty! Fortified juices and rice or soymilks have zero antibiotics. You do the math.) While we’re all running around thinking cows’ milk is the end-all, be-all for health, globally, we’re among the minority. Worldwide, 65 percent of adults abstain from milk.

It’s estimated that men under fifty should aim for 1,000 milligrams of calcium per day and that men over fifty get 1,200 milligrams.

But don’t think you can eat crap all day and then just pop a calcium supplement to make up for it. There’s no substitute for healthy, calcium-rich foods. So take your viteys, if instructed, but eat well, too. Have five to eight servings per day of calcium-rich foods. And make sure you exercise—lazy-asses lose the calcium from their bones while active people retain theirs.

And quit fucking smoking already! It increases your risk for fractures (and guarantees a foul-ass smelling mouth). P. S. Alcohol and steroids can also have a negative effect on bones.

You will shit yourself when you see how much weight you lose from giving up dairy. The fat in the cheese is what gives it the taste and texture we love. Of the calories found in cheese, 70 to 80 percent come from fat. Even if you’re buying the low-fat, part-skim bullshit, more than half the calories come from fat.

Fat-free? Give us a frig gin’ break! Remember what milk is for. It is designed to fatten baby cows. Do you really believe it can be altered into a fat-free, healthy, natural product? Get your head out of your ass. Milk = fat. Butter = fat. Cheese = fat. People who think these products can be natural and low-fat or fat-free = duped.

Now, if you’re anything like us, eating gives you more joy than everything—yep, even sex. So you might be wondering, “What the hell am I gonna eat now that I know dairy is bad for me? I know how to get calcium, but how about pleasure?” Don’t worry. We’re on it.

First off, soymilk, rice milk, and almond milk are great replacements for cows’ milk. Just read the ingredients and make sure the one you buy is fortified or enriched (that means they added calcium and other good stuff). Also, avoid brands that have any form of sweeteners in the “milk.” If you’re trying to limit your sugar intake, you sure as hell don’t want to waste your ration on friggin’ rice milk. Next, get your self some soy “butter.” It tastes like the real deal and can be used just like butter—on toast, pancakes, even in recipes. Mmm! We could eat it with a spoon! Speaking of. . . . Have you tried soy ice cream or coconut milk ice cream? Seriously, it’ll rock your world. Yes, you should be limiting your sugar intake, but if you have to have ice cream, rock the dairy-free. It is ridiculously good. Tofutti makes pretty decent dairy-free versions of cream cheese and sour cream. (Just be sure to read the ingredients and get the ones without hydrogenated oil.) And the best dairy-free cheeses on the market are Follow Your Heart and Teese. Feel free to try other brands, but read the ingredients. The majority of soy cheeses on the market aren’t dairy free. Some contain casein, which is the milk protein that promotes all three stages of cancer growth, remember? Others contain whey. Uck.

But Follow Your Heart and Teese receive our stamp of approval. If you’re like most people, you’ve been buying the same crappy products for years. So be patient: it’ll take a little time to locate all the dairy free products, and it’ll require trial and error to figure out which ones you like.

How about eggs? You know how when a woman is pregnant and she drinks alcohol or does drugs, it affects her unborn child? Well, it is the same with chickens and their un hatched eggs. When you eat eggs, you are ingesting all the same hormones, pesticides, chemicals, and steroids as if you were eating the chicken directly. So if you really believe that eating “just egg whites” isn’t fattening, we’ve got a bridge we can sell ya. Eggs are high in saturated fat and are completely disgusting when you think about what you are eating. Try that for once—actually think about what you are eating. (FYI: Eggs are a hen’s menstrual cycle. N-a-s-t-y.) Also, a new study of 57,000 people linked egg consumption with type 2 diabetes, and another with increased risk of heart failure.

An Argentine study found that people who ate about one and a half eggs per week had almost five times the risk of colorectal cancer as those who ate less than eleven eggs a year.

After analyzing data from thirty-four different countries, the World Health Organization correlated egg consumption with colon and rectal cancer mortality.

Another study found that moderate egg consumption tripled the risk of developing bladder cancer.

So save your, “But what about organic, free-range eggs?” bullshit for some one else—someone who doesn’t care about your colon, rectum, and bladder. Egg Beaters are made of real eggs, so they’re a gross no-no.

But if you take a slice of some firm or extra-firm tofu and press out the excess water, heat it up in a pan, and add a little soy butter, salt, pepper, and ketchup, you’ve got yourself a “fried egg.” There’s also an egg substitute in powder form for cooking and baking called Ener G egg replacer. And many markets sell a pretty good tofu “egg” salad.

As the demand grows for good animal-free and dairy-free products, more companies will supply us with these foods. So let your consumer dollars voice your desire, and your body will be rewarded.

If you can’t find good stuff at your local store, venture out to the nearest health food store or Whole Foods. Or, flap your big gums and ask your store’s manager to order the stuff for you. They’ll usually accommodate special requests.

So yeah, we just told you that eggs and dairy products suck. Don’t freak out. Going against the grain can feel uncomfortable, wrong, and totally fucking weird. After all, every doctor you’ve ever known has endorsed milk’s safety and nutritional value. Unfortunately, they simply don’t know any better. But bear in mind, there are many, many, many health experts, scientists, researchers, and doctors that vehemently oppose the claims of the dairy industry. Their voices are just drowned out by the billion-dollar industry. If what we’ve said in this chapter kinda rings true for you, but you still feel uncomfortable, do your own research. Take matters into your own hands. Collecting information can be the ultimate reassurance. It’s disquieting to believe what others say, but when you’ve seen the proof yourself, it’s a whole, new ballgame.