Referral. Chapter 2. The Combination to Referral Success.

At 3:00 P.M. sharp, Susie walked into Chuck’s California Coffee Café and Bistro and was greeted by Chuck and his warm smile. He waved, held out a steaming cup of her usual, and nodded toward a table nearby. She took the cup and looked in the direction of the nod.

There was a little two-chair table with a handmade Reserved sign on it and a large, white coffee cup. Susie glanced left and then right, and seeing no one near, she strolled over to it. The white cup was full of what looked like strong, black coffee. She set her coffee cup across from it and then sat slowly down.

“Hello.” Susie jumped. At her elbow stood a silver-haired, trim, nicely dressed man.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m David Highground.” She got up. “Oh, no, really, that’s fine. I just didn’t see you “ she mumbled at this mysterious Mr. Highground.

She glanced back at Chuck, who gave her a thumbs-up and rushed busily away.

Highground’s smile broadened and he waved at her chair. “Have a seat, Susie, and let’s talk.” She sat and so did Highground. She took a sip of her coffee, suddenly more nervous and less trusting than she expected. Yet she kept thinking of Chuck and because she trusted him, she decided she would keep an open mind.

Highground must have noticed this because the next thing he said was, “You’re feeling hesitant, aren’t you? I understand. It’s the most natural thing in the world. But the reason I’m here is because a good friend of ours referred me to you, right?” “Right,” she answered, a bit embarrassed for being so transparent.

“Well, then, I have a responsibility to him to take care of you.

Know why? No matter how great my business concepts might be, the relationship I have with Chuck is much more precious than any service or program. So I’ll honor my relationship with him by helping you.” Sensing this was more than just a way to make her feel at ease, she said, “What do you mean?” “I mean, this very dynamic we are acting out is the key to everything you will learn in the next two days. Let’s turn it around. You value Chuck’s friendship, don’t you?” “Yes, I do.” “Then if he asked you to do something in your power to do, wouldn’t you want to do it and do it well?” “Well, yes. I wouldn’t want to disappoint him.” “Why?” “Well, because I value the relationship.” “That’s it. That is the exact point. If you understand that your relationships are more important than your products or services and you always put them first, your existing clients and all the new people that come into your life will see this, realize you’re the real thing by your actions, and enjoy referring their friends, associates, and acquaintances to you. When someone they know needs your products or services, they know you’ll treat them right.” He thought a moment. “Want an analogy?” “Sure.” “Think of the world as a chicken coop. We can go searching for customers like they were chickens, running around trying to sell our products to every chicken we can corner. If we catch one, we can have a good chicken dinner that night, but then we have to go through the process of finding and catching another chicken. On the other hand, if we build a relationship with those chickens, take care of them, plump them up, continue to maintain the relationship with them and be referred to every chicken they know,we’ll have omelets for life. No longer will we have to find a new chicken every day.” “Well, that’s vivid,” Susie said with a grin. “Even if I don’t like omelets.” Highground laughed. “Of course. I do like omelets, but you get the point, I hope.” He sat back in his chair. “It sounds amazingly simple, I know. Not what we usually hear in business, is it? Most programs are hit-and-run. Hit ‘em with our pitch, run to find the next customer to pitch again.

Think about it. Most major companies have powerful marketing programs planned months, even a year, in advance.

But their sole focus is closing the sale. No thought is put into nurturing the relationship with the client after the sale, which ultimately leaves the door wide open for the competition to take the client and the client’s referrals as well. And how much time is spent considering the type of person you happen to be and how that helps or hurts you in the program? None. Sound right?” Susie thought about the seminars and lectures and meetings she’d attended. Everything was market, market, market and sell, sell, sell. The client was a faceless customer.

And the question was always, How do you find the customers? The focus was never on how to build and maintain relationships with the clients. “Yes,” she had to agree. “I’m afraid you’re right.” “But what happens when you flip that idea?” Highground said, flipping his wrist in a half circle. “The client first, then the product or service! Let me put this another way: I want to serve you well because of my relationship with Chuck. Tell me the truth. Would you have come here if we did not have a mutual friend?” “No,” she admitted, taking a sip of coffee. “Probably not. No offense.” “So, you are here, entrusting your time to me because of your relationship with Chuck. And if Chuck didn’t value both of us, would we be sitting here?” “No, we wouldn’t,” she said. “Relationships. That is great, but how can that work in the long run? Surely it’s too good to be true.” Highground smiled as if he’d heard that before. “What you are experiencing right now is the foundation you can build a business and a life on. And that goes for new clients and existing ones. Ready to begin?” Susie nodded slightly, still a little standoffish.

“You’ll see,” he said. “Just wait.” And then Highground pushed a small notebook across the table toward her. “This little notebook is your ‘working ground’ for the next two days. And afterward, it will be your plan of action, all you have learned and all you need to know.” Setting down her coffee, Susie accidentally jostled some onto the new notebook.

“Oh, no!” she gasped, wiping frantically with her napkin.

Highground joined in and in a second they were both laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Susie said.

“Are you kidding? What better baptism for your new business life,Chuck’s coffee!” “Hey, keep it down over there!” a voice called from the front door. Highground looked back and waved. “Ah, there’s one of the people you’ll meet now! Sheila Marie!

How are you doing?” Sheila Marie waved her response, turning quickly back to the couple with her and steering them to her favorite table.

“Susie, in the next two days, you are going to meet four very different people who have been exactly where you are, and that woman is one of them.” Susie looked around. “Why, yes, I recognize her. She’s as much a regular here as I am.” “And there’s another.” Highground pointed to Paul, who was standing at the counter, paying for his coffee to go.

Somewhat surprised, Susie said, “Why, yes. I know these people.” “Think about it. Is that so surprising? You know Chuck.

They know Chuck. And so do Philip and Sara, who are the other two. I bet you’ll recognize them, too. And of course, they know Chuck, too. We all know an amazing number of people who know an even more amazing number of people. Yet they were all exactly where you are right now not too long ago.” “They were all like me? I find that very hard to believe.

They look so successful.” Highground paused, then said in his teacher’s voice, “Do you think you have to be like them to be successful?” “Why do I get the feeling that’s a trick question?” “Remember the first question I asked you?” “Yes, Do I like myself? It was a very interesting question.” Highground nodded. “I have learned a very basic but important truth over the years of teaching this system. You cannot and should not change anyone. You can modify some behavior habits and fill in a gap or two, but not for long.

“We are all gifted in certain areas and we need to be more of ourselves, not less,” he said, pausing for emphasis before he went on.

“Do you see Sheila Marie over there? Do you know what was holding her back? She is what I call a ‘relationalrelational’ person, and she was killing herself trying to be a ‘business-business’ person because she thought that’s what she had to be to make a living in her profession.” “Relational-relational? Business-business?” Susie echoed.

“Okay, let me back up,” Highground said. “I believe we all see business and relationships through four ‘windows.’ Others see us and our style through the same windows.

When we are not ourselves, when we try to be someone else, no matter how we try to disguise it, we feel uncomfortable.

So our clients cannot help but feel uncomfortable, too.” Susie frowned. “Did you say four ‘windows’? What are the other two?” “Okay, let’s go through all four. You know the person who is always ready with a hug? He or she is relationalrelational. In the middle are the relational-business and business-relational people. At the other end is businessbusiness, the type who seems only interested in the bottom line.” “What am I?” That made Highground grin. “That’s what you have to decide. In fact, over the next two days you will not only decide which you are, but you’ll learn how to embrace it and apply it to your work.” “So, I get to be myself and I get to work with people who know someone I know?” “Right.” “And the reason it works is because it’s putting people first? Relationships are valued over the bottom line. And that, strangely enough, will allow the bottom line to take care of itself?” “With a little more help from you, of course, which you’ll soon learn about, too. But yes, you’re getting the idea.” Susie opened her notebook. Inside were four sections, each one with a picture of a combination lock under the words “The Right Combination for Success.” She thumbed through the pages, then looked up. “Don’t take this wrong, Mr. Highground, but it seems too simple. Why doesn’t everyone do it?” “You know that old saying that the trees are in the way of seeing the forest? Most people are too busy dodging the falling trees in business every day to think about the simplicity and rewards of just treating people right and doing the right thing. But this works,because it’s built around you. And while it seems simple on top, it’s very deep below.

Remember the third question I asked you?” Susie quickly thought. “Let’s see. ‘Are you willing to stay the course?’” “This is where the simplicity either works or it doesn’t.

I’m not selling magic, Susie. My system works because it’s based on truths that, when applied, give back significant results. That last part is why I asked you if you were a ‘stay the course’ sort of person. And this is where I begin to introduce you to the people who have lived it and want to share it with you.” Highground pointed to the notebook.

“Read the first principle, why don’t you?” The cartoon picture of the combination lock had a pointer arrow, pointing to the first number. And under it were these words, which Susie read aloud: “Principle 1:

The 250 by 250 Rule. It’s not only who you know that counts, it’s who your clients know that is important.” She looked up at Highground.

Highground leaned forward. “Tomorrow morning, you’ll meet Sheila Marie. And that’s what she’ll teach you. Read on.” Susie turned the page. There was the same picture of a combination lock, but the dial had moved to show number 2 at the top under the pointer arrow, as if the tumblers had turned. She read the sentence below it. “Principle 2: Build a database and ABC it.” “That will be Paul,” said Highground.

“We’ll meet him for lunch and he’ll explain that.” Highground pointed at the notebook again. “Okay, now. Principle 3.” Susie turned the page. There was the same picture of the combination lock, but the dial had moved again to show number 3 at the top under the pointer arrow. She read, “Principle 3: Just Let Me Know. Educate your clients about how you work and your value to them through regular, tangible actions performed without fail.” Susie looked a bit confused.

Highground noticed. “Don’t worry. You’ll understand it all very soon. Philip will be explaining that principle and he is a whiz at it. Okay, read the last principle. That’ll be Sara, and she’s also amazing.” Susie turned the page.

The lock’s pointer arrow was now pointing to number 4, and the lock was open. For some reason, she found herself smiling at that. She read, “Principle 4:

Keep in touch, consistently, personally, and systematically.” Susie said, smiling again at the opened combination lock, “Well, I certainly get the metaphor.” Highground cocked his head toward her. “And after you meet my four ‘principled’ friends, you will find out it is much more than just a metaphor. Lots of things will open up for you,when you remember the combination, of course.” Susie shook her head slightly, somewhat overwhelmed, and closed the notebook. “Do I keep this then?” “Sure do. Bring it tomorrow, along with your favorite pen or pencil, because you are going to be writing some very important notes under each principle as the hours go by.” With that, Highground got up. “Well, I bet you’re tired and a little confused. But I hope you’re also excited about tomorrow.” Susie stood up, too. “Yes,” she said truthfully. “I am.

Thank you.” Highground grinned from ear to ear. “Don’t thank me yet. You’re just starting on the journey. Be here at 8:00 A.M.

to meet Sheila Marie. I’ll meet you afterwards, okay?” “You won’t be here?” Susie suddenly felt a little overwhelmed again.

“Sheila Marie will take very good care of you. Trust me.

She’s relational-relational. You’ll find out very quickly what that means. She’s a fun person and she really is excited about meeting you and helping you tomorrow morning.” He cocked his head. “Know why? Because it’s her nature. It’s who she is.” With a wave, Highground was already moving toward the door. “You’re going to have a great two days, Susie,” he called back over his shoulder. And then he disappeared.

Or at least that’s what it seemed like to Susie. She looked quickly around. The coffee shop was still the soothing, fun place it always was. But something felt different.

Susie reached down and touched her notebook.

“Isn’t he a great person?” a voice said from behind her.

It was Chuck, rushing by with a load of coffee mugs in his hands. “So is Sheila Marie. See you in the morning.” How did Chuck know? With a slightly bemused shake of her head, Susie waved at Chuck, picked up the notebook, and walked outside. As she walked to her car, she glanced around as if she might see this mysterious Mr. Highground again.

Susie’s eyebrows arched high at that surprising reflex. “I guess that’s a good sign,” she said to herself. She was looking forward to the next morning. She truly was.